In the November issue of ALIVE, I wrote about the preponderance of fathers of daughters, only daughters. At the time of that article, I had interviewed thirty-four dads who were blessed with only girls – no sons. Since the article came out, I have met another 13 dads who know only girl speak. Never one to be called sexist or elitist, at the heart of the matter I’m all about the equality. In a truly altruistic effort at fairness, I give voice to Mother’s of Sons (only sons).
Maybe it was the emergence of equality in college sports (NCAA’s Title 9), the male-dominated television shows of the early 90’s (21 Jump Street, MacGyver and Home Improvement) or the blossoming popularity of flannel shirts, workman boots and bandanas, but somewhere along the way women became more confident, liberated and assertive. Again, there’s no statistical data to back up my hypothesis, but could this new breed of woman now be a spawning more litters of only male pups? Twenty-two women were contacted for this piece, however unlike my 87% response rate among the men for my November 2012 piece, only about 39% of the ladies responded. Should that imply that mothers of only sons are busier than fathers of only daughters? It’s a theory definitely worthy of contemplation.
“I was the only girl of a single mother. When I learned we were having a boy, I was scared. I didn’t know if I knew enough about little boys.” Shelly W., two sons
“I never knew how much fun it would be to have boys. There is constant activity and energy in the house.” Rose K., two sons
“With boys, a mom is forever saying things like; no more fart noises, quit hitting your brother and get your hands out of your pants.” Jessica R., two sons
It’s no secret that most girls grow up playing house. I know for a fact that all three of my sisters dreamed of being a mommy one day. While I’m relatively certain they placed with both girls and boy dolls, it’s logical to assume that there was a little more attention given to their precious pretend daughters that they could dress up and accessorize. hat do you do with a boy doll? Throw balls at it? The American Girl doll company has thought of virtually every way imaginable to milk tens of thousands of dollars out of every family that purchases one of their outstanding line of “Like Me” dolls, however, to the best of my knowledge there are not a lot of boy dolls in the collection. Apparently dressing up a toddler boy doll as a cub scout, skater punk, rapper or young Republican wouldn’t register at the (cash) register.
“When I thought of being the mom of boys, I never contemplated having to live with the non-stop high level of energy, the constant rowdy behavior and the endless amount of loud noise.” Amy C., three sons
“With a houseful of boys/men, expect ESPN to be on 24 hours a day. As one of my sons likes to say, there’s always a game on somewhere!” Melissa K., four sons
“I never anticipated how much I would have in common with my boys. I actually find trains, race cars and superheroes fun.” Shelly W., two sons
My wife has told me that while a majority of women do dream of having a daughter, they also know that a lot of drama comes with the package. To the best of my recollection, growing up I don’t remember any of my guy friends engaged in a war of wills or high theatrics with their mothers. Why would they? Most sons worship their mommies. While a boy may not wear dresses or jewelry (not that there’s anything wrong with that), they certainly provide a mother with a different set of emotional and apparel challenges, rewards and opportunities.
“Boys are easy. T-shirt, jeans, tennis shoes and a buzz cut works for all occasions. You get to skip the frilliness, accessories and indecision that comes with a girl.” Jessica R., two sons
“My son touched my heart when he told me he plans to name his first daughter after me. I know with three boys the odds are good that I’ll have a granddaughter someday. I love that one of them might be named Danielle.” Danielle B., three sons
“Both of my boys tell me they love me almost every time they leave the house. When these tall, muscular, boy/men say they love me out loud my heart could just melt.” Rose K., two sons
Several of my lady friends tell me that being the only woman in a house full of men can often mean you’re pulled into “dad” duty if dad is unavailable or not living at home. The “Mother of a Son” job description can include a skill set that requires expertise in the areas of fort builder, bug catcher, super hero sidekick, SWAT team commander, triage doctor, pitcher/quarterback/point guard, bike mechanic, sports psychologist, magician, card shark and broken heart mender. Additionally, moms are expected to be a short-order cook at a restaurant open 24/7. ORDER UP!
“I created a motocross racetrack in our front yard by letting the grass grow long and mowing an oval into the lawn.” Glenna H., two sons
“I’ve made multiple trips to the emergency rooms to deal with the latest black eye, broken collar bone, concussion, cut lip, super-glued fingers, sprained ankle, split forehead or skinned knee with road rash.” Amy C., three sons
“Who knew that a tennis ball coming off an aluminum bat could take out an eardrum? When my son took up lacrosse and shattered a window about a foot from my head, I broke down and bought a bounce back wall and net.” Trish G., two sons
Interestingly, bathroom etiquette, or lack thereof, seems to be a reoccurring theme when the only girl in the house is mom. Girls may fill the bathroom with make-up, perfume, curling irons and straighteners, but boys apparently can leave the tub a filthy mess, leave wet towels on the floor and these little men are not at all concerned with privacy. Boys may be able to shower, shave and dress (even for the prom) in 5 minutes flat, but that doesn’t mean the bathroom won’t have some type of collateral damage. Speaking from past experience, boys also take great pride in their own belches, snot rockets and flatulence.
“A mom needs to be prepared for the Open Door bathroom policy. Honestly, boys never feel the need to close a door for any bathroom duties. However, I do require a closed door whenever we have visitors.” Melissa K., four sons
“My boys treat the toilet like target practice. Sometimes they’re dead on hitting the bull’s eye and sometimes their aim is a little off.” Julie L., two sons
“Having boys means there’s always pee on the bathroom floor. If it gets much worse, I’m going to hang Greek (fraternity) letters on the outside of the house.” Danielle B., three sons
The bond between a mother and son is unbreakable. A young man’s love and adulation for their mother begins at birth. In addition to taking care of our basic needs, she provides us with comfort, compassion, sensitivity, strength and courage. The mother of a son inherently has a sixth sense when it comes to their boy’s needs. Baby – bath him, swaddle him and feed him. Toddler – play with him, read to him and feed him. Teenager – tolerate him, counsel him and feed him. Finally, as an adult – find him a job, find him a house and find him a wife who will feed him. A son can never repay their mother for everything she does, that’s why he’ll spend a lifetime showing her how much he appreciates it.
“With a daughter, mom’s can play princess, with a son – the mom is the princess! Boys make their mothers feel like the most special girl in the world. Shayla S., one son and one on the way
“With a son, a mom can always count on getting a card for Valentine’s Day”. Julie L., two sons.