I have always enjoyed the televised award show ceremonies celebrating accomplishments in film, music, theatre and tattooing. While I find most of the annual award shows very entertaining, my wife absolutely loves the award show season. To put it succinctly, she loves, loves, loves award shows! She loves the glitz, the glam, the pageantry and the after parties. If there‚Äôs a red carpet pre-show and Ryan Seacrest in the house, then she‚Äôs got her hinny parked on the couch, a glass of chardonnay in her hand and Round Table on speed dial.
I use the term Award Show ‚ÄúSeason‚ÄĚ because it seems like there are about as many award shows as there are regular season baseball games. And, just like baseball, there are the major league shows such as; the Oscar‚Äôs, Emmy‚Äôs, Grammy‚Äôs and Tony‚Äôs, followed by the minor league offerings which includes; The Peoples Choice Awards, The Kids Choice Awards, The Teen Choice Awards and the MTV Video Music Awards. Then there‚Äôs the Country Music Awards, the Golden Globes, the Screen Actors Guild Awards, Clio Awards and the All-Madden Team. (Actually, I don‚Äôt believe the All-Madden team qualifies as an awards show, but my wife doesn‚Äôt care about semantics.) Did I mention that the kids and I are banned from the family room during an award show due to our inability to stay quiet and thereby potentially disturbing her viewing pleasure? What a diva.
The granddaddy of all the award shows has to be the OSCARS. Wikipedia tells me that the Academy Awards, informally known as The Oscars, are a set of awards given annually for excellence of cinematic achievements. The first awards ceremony took place at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood, California in 1929. The show is televised live in more than 100 countries and it‚Äôs what the other major award shows, the Grammy‚Äôs (music), the Emmy‚Äôs (television) and the Tony‚Äôs (theatre) were patterned after. Some of my favorite Oscar moments included The Bad News Bears winning Best Movie in 1976, ET accepting the Best Actor award in 1982, and Three 6 Mafia winning Best Original Song for It‚Äôs Hard Out Here For a Pimp from the 2005 movie Hustle and Flow. That last one is actually true and I seem to recall director James Cameron‚Äôs ears bleeding during their live performance.
The key to a successful Oscars show is often determined by who the host is for the evening‚Äôs event. Bob Hope has handled hosting duties the most times (18), followed by Billy Crystal (9). While both of those gentlemen are very capable hosts, the show I most enjoyed was hosted by that talented little pig named Babe. He, from the wildly popular movie of 1995 entitled simply, BABE. That little sausage cracked me up. Truthfully, the Oscars can be a bit dull, relying more on pomp and circumstance than content, but it is the Super Bowl of award shows and for that reason it will forever have my respect and be my wife‚Äôs favorite.
A GRAMMY Award (originally called Gramophone Award) ‚Äď or Grammy ‚Äď is an accolade by the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences to recognize outstanding achievement in the music industry. The first award ceremony took place in 1959. Some classical composer named Sir Georg Silti has won the most Grammys (31), but since I‚Äôve never heard of him, who cares? Now if it was Sir Paul McCartney, Sir Mick Jagger or Sir Steve Perry, that would be different. The Grammy‚Äôs are my favorite show because of the live performances, especially the collaborations. Sir Elton John and Kiki Dee, Sir Elton John and Eminem, Sir Elton John and Insane Clown Posse were just a few of the interesting pairings. Candidly, I‚Äôm also fond of the flesh bearing fashions the Grammy‚Äôs bring out. That Rihanna can really wear a dress, or what passes for a dress at some Caribbean ‚Äúclothes optional‚ÄĚ beach resorts.
An Emmy Award, or simply Emmy, is a television production award show. The two ceremonies that usually receive the most media coverage are the Primetime Emmy‚Äôs and the Daytime Emmy‚Äôs, recognizing excellence in American primetime and daytime entertainment programming, respectively. The first Emmy Awards show took place in 1949. Unless I‚Äôm mistaken, that was the year The Simpsons first appeared on the Fox network. The Emmys are ‚Äúmust see‚ÄĚ TV, mostly because television actors don‚Äôt come across as arrogant and pompous as their movie star cousins. The Emmys are a more fun and relaxed award show. Don‚Äôt get me wrong, its not the Jager shots and beer bong throw down that the Golden Globes are, but it‚Äôs a good time, none the less. Sadly, I lost a lot of respect for the Emmys when Snooki (played by Nicole Polizzi) was not awarded 2012‚Äôs Best Actress in a Reality Show. That woman‚Äôs work was inspired on MTV‚Äôs Jersey Shore, comparable only to Susan Lucci‚Äôs brilliant performance (for 41myears) as Erica Kane on All My Children. After eighteen failed nominations, Susan finally won a Best Actress award in 1999, but keep in mind that it was only the ‚ÄúDaytime‚ÄĚ Emmys.
The Antoinette Perry Award for Excellence in Theatre, more commonly known informally as the Tony Award, recognizes achievement in live Broadway theatre. To be honest, I don‚Äôt really watch the Tony Awards ‚ÄĒ a little too schmaltzy for my taste. Don‚Äôt get me wrong, I totally enjoyed the theatrical productions of Lion King, Wicked, Jersey Boys, Hairspray and… well, Cats of course, however, an entire show about plays just doesn‚Äôt float my boat. It‚Äôs show tunes, and a lot of people I don‚Äôt recognize because they rarely appear on Entertainment Tonight, but most of all it‚Äôs a show recognizing performances I‚Äôll likely never see. I resent the Broadway snobbery.
After the big four, all other award shows pale in comparison. Sure, they do have red carpets and fancy clothes, but they lack a little panache. I won‚Äôt deny that I enjoy the celebrity sliming on the Kids Choice Awards and the unusually erotic categories of the MTV Movie Awards, but I‚Äôm irked by the preposterousness of the People‚Äôs Choice Awards. If it‚Äôs the ‚Äúpeoples‚ÄĚ choice awards, wouldn‚Äôt that imply that we the people get to vote? So where‚Äôs my ballot been mailed the last 50 years?
If I had it my way, I would institute A Suburban Life Award show in every neighborhood across America. Granted, I may lose out to Mr. Nishihira for Best Car Pool Driver and Dr. Weiss would totally run away with Best Words with Friends Competitor Award, but I would totally win Best Humor Lifestyle Magazine Article Writer (at least on my block). And the winner is…‚Ä¶Me. I bet my wife might even watch.