d e c e m b e r 2 0 1 6 A L I V E E A S T B A Y 21 business and finance inside out, be a psychologist, a diplomat, an expert on everything there is know about military life in the 21st Century, and must be willing to put his/her finger on the button that can, in moments, exterminate the human race as well as a few other species that do not deserve annihilation. Those of us more modest in our ambitions must just hope for the best and wish our leaders well. Regardless of political affiliation, almost everyone I have spoken with agrees that our election process must be shortened and that the disgusting, immoral amount of money spent must be reduced. (The exception to those who wish these changes lies with, of course, the media.) Perhaps the country can establish a procedure whereby the entire election process must occur within six months, June to November. All candidates can say what they have to say at least three hundred times in that period of time—before it gets too repetitive and obscene. Perhaps a list of twenty-five acceptable charities could be provided to all candidates. For every dollar the candidates spend, they must contribute a dollar to one of the charities. To be sure, shortening the season and controlling spending would be contingent on Congress acting on these proposals. Djdfikekdjdfuerksklj (Excuse me, but the thought of Congress acting on anything got me so excited that I could not control my fingers on the keyboard.) This timeless prose was written November 9, the day after the election. You, of course, are reading it in December. I would like to make a prediction relative to political happenings between November 9 and now. I predict the following will have announced their candidacy for 2020: FIVE Members of Congress who have never accomplished anything; FOUR White supremacists; THREE Defrocked college professors who are Holocaust deniers; TWO 72 year old men dressed in tattered jeans, tie-dyed tee shirts, with gray hair in long pony-tails, and carrying signs that read “VEGAN LIVERS MUTTER;” ONE 61 year old woman from Genoa, Italy, to whom Cristofo Columbo appeared in a vision, touched her inappropriately, and told her she was born in Sunbury , Pennsylvania, and is, therefore, eligible to be POTUS; AND (sung) A PAR—TRI—IDGE IN A PEAR TREE. Oops, I forgot Carly and Bernie I hope everyone has a merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, or happy “Whatever,” and a joyful., peaceful and healthy New Year!
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