Savor the Moments

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We’ve all had out moments. Good moments and bad moments, happy moments and sad moments, moments of triumph and moments of failure. I, for one, have had moments that I’m extremely proud of and moments that have caused me great embarrassment. Huge embarrassment. I’m pretty sure I wet myself in the outfield of my first Pee Wee league game and then again when I overdrank at a brothers-only fraternity retreat. Not my proudest moments.

Let’s face it, we’ve all shared “moments” with friends, relatives, neighbors, co-workers, classmates, casual acquaintances and complete strangers. Moments that vary on the emotional Richter scale from regrettable to forgettable to absolutely remarkable. A positive moment (a first kiss), might be something we reflect on for a lifetime while a negative moment—like falling asleep at a wedding ceremony for example—might be something to bury in the past forever.


Recently while watching my favorite “guilty pleasure” television series, This Is Us, I could totally relate when Rebecca, trying to make sense of her dysfunctional mother-son relationship with Kevin, said, “It wasn’t all bad. We had our moments. I feel it in my soul; we had some really good moments.” Yes, it choked me up, I’m sensitive that way. I own it. Given that my own daughters have struggled with a strained relationship for most of their teenage years, I had just told each of them, individually the day before, “It hasn’t all been bad, you’ve had some moments that were good and fun.” This obviously explains the reason for the mistiness in my eyes that particular Tuesday evening around 9:55.

Sibling Moments
As a brother with three sisters, I’ve shared a million moments, both good and bad, with these three she-devils. At any given time, over the last 50 years, at least one of them won’t talk to me. We have shared sad and happy moments when we cried at each of our parent’s funerals and celebrated at all of our children’s births.

We’ve also laughed at crazy, funny, silly moments that only siblings get or can relate to. However, my favorite moments were fleeting conversations that were both deeply personal and genuinely heartfelt—the type of conversation that only a brother and sister can appreciate. . . even when they’re not talking years later.

When I asked my daughters what their special moments together were, they talked about playing with Barbies for hours on rainy days; the joy as they walked into an American Girl Doll store for the first time; the excitement of seeing Santa placing gifts under the tree on Christmas Eve, and a spontaneous Sunday afternoon at a Giants game. See, despite a lot of nasty cat fights, they have had their sweet and positive moments.

Parenting Moments
The tender, loving, magical moments of being a parent are like nothing else. It starts with the moment you first hold your newborn baby. Life-changing will forever be an understatement. I loved the moments of stand-rocking my babies to sleep while listening to a Marc Cohn or Kenny Loggins CDs. Don’t judge.

Developmental moments such as first steps, first words, potty training or riding a bike are hard to describe unless you’ve been there to experience them first hand. What are just as momentous are times of sadness, emotion, sorrow, frustration and heartbreak that can be difficult and painful, but all part of the parenting experience. The moment I became a father was the greatest moment of my life, twice.

Parented Moments
My dad was a 24-year U.S. Navy veteran, born and bred in the south. Although he was a man of few words, we had our moments. The teaching me to drive moment or the fishing and shooting guns back in Texas moments are irreplaceable.

Anytime I felt I made him proud of me was a moment that’s hard for a son to describe in writing. My mom, on the other hand, was a “moment machine,” always encouraging, supporting and willing me to succeed in school, sports—downright everything.

Sadly, because they both passed away so young, all I have are those deeply personal moment memories to hold on to and pass along to my kids.

Marriage Moments
Asking someone to marry you is a nerve wracking, sweat-generating moment as is the actual marriage ceremony. Finding out you’re going to have a baby and then actually having one (or more) is a life altering moment. Married couples have plenty of moments, some bigger than others and not all easy ones to navigate, but every marriage is full of them.

Sports Moments
Sporting moments, aka “Glory Days,” often stay with us men forever. We can tell you about a little league homerun hit 45 years ago like it was yesterday. I hit three when I was twelve, for whatever that’s worth.

I’ve written about certain gridiron moments from high school or college that helped define me as a player. The moment I crossed the finish line at the 2011 Chicago Marathon puts an immediate smile on my face, knowing what went into accomplishing that feat.

There is always a lot of determination mixed with sweat and countless hours dedicated to any serious athletic endeavor, however those irreplaceable moments that will last a lifetime override all the pain and agony.

Work Moments
Work is work, but I’ve had a few moments as a commission salesman that were memorable. Closing that first deal, closing that huge deal, or closing that brain damaged difficult deal were all moments.

Leaving one company and starting with another is a cautiously optimistic/nervous excitement moment. Often times, it’s the people we work with that help create a moment that for some reason makes me think of the brilliant television sitcom, The Office.

Valentine’s Day Moments
I’m no Don Juan, but I’ve had my romantic moments. In the third grade I gave Kelly Mullford a plagiarized poem passing it off as my own. Sadly, Dr. Seuss has a certain, easy-to-identify style to his writing.

In my early 20’s, I had my girlfriend wait just inside Macy’s in San Francisco while I ran to get the car during a torrential downpour. Along the way, I stopped to buy her a bunch of flowers from a street vendor. I was drenched when I picked her up, but the gesture won me mooches smooches.

As a husband and father of daughters, my feel good moment was seeing my wife and little girls faces light up annually when the florist annually delivered flowers to all three of them at the same time.

Moments are just that, a moment in time that has a lasting impact. A moment can occur in an instant, jiffy or flash. It can last seconds, minutes or hours. There really is no defined duration of time that constitutes a moment.

While it can be fleeting, it can also be immeasurable as a lasting moment forever burned into your heart and mind. The key is to never stop trying to create a moment for yourself or someone else.

While an article I wrote a few years ago encouraged my readers to appreciate the small things, I’m now here to tell you: Savor the Moments!

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