This has been one of the toughest years in recent memory. We have been faced with unemployment, health issues, the military conflict in the Middle East and Adam Lambert winning American Idol. On a more local level, the housing market is still sluggish, our school system lack funds and our professional sports teams are abysmal. Perhaps a return to simple core values would help turn the tide. Simple, little pleasures, such as family dinners, game nights and holiday caroling could be just what our country needs to get our economy (and attitude) back on track.
I can’t recall the last time I went caroling during the holiday season. People just don’t carol like they once did…. back in the olden days. While we love to watch our kids perform at multicultural holiday school functions, as adults we just don’t embrace caroling the way our parents, grandparents and every resident at Rossmoor Leisure World in Walnut Creek did when they were young. We’ve all seen the old black and white movies, (It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Carol), and admired how those folks caroled.
Anytime there was a group of people gathered together at a holiday party, office function or neighborhood gathering, a festive song usually broke out. Fortunately, there was always someone who could play the piano beautifully and was well versed in songs like Silent Night or Oh, Come All Ye Faithful. I know one of my co-workers plays the bass in a Goth metal band, but that’s not going to cut it if I feel like singing Jingle Bells in our reception area.
Maybe the older generation’s willingness to break into song had something to do with their lack of music listening options. Unless you went down to the Copacabana to see Ricky Ricardo, tuned in Sinatra on the Zenith radio or fired up some Andy Williams records (vinyl LPs and 45s) on the old phonograph, it was hard to hear a good holiday song. Today, I just ask my kids to download Coldplay’s version of Joy to the World to my iPhone and I’m humming myself silly while working out at the gym in my candy cane print striped uni-tard.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the classic holiday songs (not to mention the claymation television specials). Perhaps, if someone (me) took the time to re-work a few of the traditional holiday songs it might give them just enough of a contemporary edge to catch on with the younger generation. We’ve seen aging musical artists such as Elton John, Madonna and Tim McGraw team up with popular rap and hip hop artists like Justin Timberlake, Eminem, Rihanna and Lil Wayne to create a more appealing sound to target the music buying demographic of mid-teen boys and tweener girls. That’s exactly what this holiday season needs: people embracing the lost art of caroling again. It might be just the ticket—start the New Year with a smile on our faces and a song in our hearts, and good things will happen.
After spending hours locked in a dark closet, with only a strand of twinkling lights to provide illumination, I had an epiphany. In an attempt to capitalize on several topical issues, I’ve reworded a few of our beloved, feel good holiday songs to inspire people to carol. Feel free to hum along as you read my poetic stylings:
JaMarcus the Raiders QB
(sung to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer):
JaMarcus the Raiders QB
Couldn’t complete a single pass
and if you watched on Sunday’s
it was obvious why the team was in last (place)
All of the Seahawk players
made him fumble and called him names
Coach Cable wouldn’t let poor JaMarcus
Play in any divisional games
Then one losing Bronco game
Al Davis came to say
JaMarcus with your arm so weak
Won’t you drive the bus this week
Then all the players loved him
and the Raiders finally won a game
JaMarcus the new bus driver
You’ll be in the Greyhound Hall of Fame
Let it Mend (sung to Let It Snow):
The economy this year is frightful
bankruptcy ain’t so delightful
Next Year we’ll all have money to spend
Let it mend, let it mend, let it mend
The stock market doesn’t show signs of stopping
bio fuel and solar energy are hopping
I got a hot stock tip from a friend
let it mend, let it mend, let it mend
When everyone goes back to work
How I’ll love seeing all that glee
We’ll go back to the good old days
of giving gifts like they were free
My attitude has gone from bad to good
and my dear I feel it should
I’ve got Tequila and a reason to blend
Let it mend, let it mend, let it mend.Arnold the Governor (sung to Frosty the Snowman):
Arnold the Governor, was a jolly happy soul
with muscled frame and charming wife
and state deficit with a mighty whole
Arnold the Governor, is a fairy tale they say
He tried his best, but made a mess
but the Terminator he once did play
There must have been some magic in that
$3,000 designer suit he wore
for when they placed it on his back
he owned the senate and assembly floor
Oh, Arnold the Governor
was Mr. Universe back in the day
he knew he could and probably would
star in Kindergarten Cop Part II – the play
Thumpidy thump thump
thumpidy thump thump
Look at Arnold run
Thumpidy, thump thump
Thumpidy, thump thump
Politics wasn’t really any fun
The Swine Flu Song (sung to The Dreidel Song):
I have some flu like symptoms
I picked them up today
I have is a temp and coughing
Swine flu I do display
Oh sicky, sicky, sicky
I’ll feel better in a 5-7 days
who knows if it’s the real thing
but, Swine flu I do display
Maybe I’m no John Mayer or Taylor Swift, but let’s see them craft a holiday song that incorporates timely social issues such as news, politics, medicine and sports. I’m like a modern day Bob Dylan. No one appreciated his early word-smithing genius and now, unfortunately, no one can understand what he’s saying. I bet Bob Dylan carols, albeit in some gravelly mumble-type fashion.
But alas, I digress.
Caroling may be just what we our nation needs to rise like a Phoenix out of the ashes of this brutal economy. Embrace the joy of the season, at the top of your lungs, and lets all bring caroling back into fashion. It’s a grassroots movement, but one that I hope will promote some old school peace on earth and goodwill to man. It sure worked for the Fox television series GLEE. That’s my favorite show.
Now, pass me the eggnog and hand me my scarf and mittens, ’cause me and the family are hitting the mean streets of Blackhawk for some yuletide, non-religion specific, caroling.
Happy Holidays!