I suppose what I am about to say will likely pigeonhole me as being sexist, but there is a line in what is arguably one of the greatest films of all time that I’d say rings true; it’s perfect in fact, particularly in light of the challenges we face in today’s world. Here is the line:
“I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men.”
Did you guess it? Of course, this was Vito Corleone, offering fatherly advice to his son, Michael, in the 1972 classic, “The Godfather.”
I translate the “men can’t afford to be careless” notion to “being ultimately responsible.” To my way of thinking this has everything to do with being an adult. What is an adult? It’s a person (man or woman—see, I’m not sexist after all) who will be brutally honest with one’s self when needed, and who makes decisions and choices after thinking critically and logically, rather than emotionally. They then also accept the consequences of their choices and decisions. They also understand the difference between the things in life that they can control or influence, and the things they cannot.
Becoming an adult doesn’t happen magically at a certain age, by the way. You can readily identify grown-ups, and everyone else (the children), by their level of understanding and willingness to accept responsibility. There are plenty of people running around who do all they can to avoid personal responsibility. They point to everything and everyone else for their condition or state of being, never even considering that a glance in the mirror might be the most logical place to start if they really want to change their own circumstances. Why do you think the medical industry is such a huge part of our economy? Could it be because a large number of people avoid the personal responsibility of maintaining their own health (ie., eating right and exercising) and rely on their doctors and medications to keep “healthy?”
After nearly fifty years of observation, I have also seen how politicians have evolved, with those of one party in particular now being “all in” with candidates trying to capitalize on the many “not-quite-yet-adults” in America today. So there is no confusion, these are the candidates telling voters with immature minds things like; “’someone else’ will pay your college debt,” and “you aren’t responsible for paying for your child’s daycare, someone else is,” and, “the government (aka, other people) will pay for your healthcare,” etc., etc.
Another interesting mental exercise sometimes used to deflect the need of acting like a responsible adult is our tendency to always accept “expert” advice. In fact, people are often criticized for even questioning such admonitions. Recommendations regarding the Coronavirus is great example of this. Over the past few days I have heard it said numerous times by “medical professionals,” that “wearing a mask is only necessary if you are sick; that it won’t protect you from the virus.”
Hmmm. Is that true? I am a layman, not a doctor. But I do have some knowledge of biology and know how to think logically. I was always told that entry point of viruses is through our mucous membranes; primarily the nose and mouth, and that washing hands is the best defense because hand-to-face contact is how the bad stuff gets in. Wouldn’t covering the nose and mouth help create a barrier or at least provide a reminder not to touch our faces? And if masks don’t protect, why are the people who work in possibly infected zones (see left) wearing masks, not to mention full-body hazmat suits?
In the end, to be considered adults, we must be willing to take responsibility. Men—and women—cannot afford to be careless.
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