July 2019

The latest off the web: Three US senators have reportedly been briefed by the Pentagon Wednesday (06/19/2019) about recent reports of “Unidentifiable Flying Objects” or UFO sightings by military pilots. The revelation comes in the wake of President Trump stating that he had also been briefed on these unidentified aerial phenomena encounters but that he didn’t believe in them. I say, too bad! One of the three senators briefed was Mark Warner (D-Va.), the vice chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, whose spokesperson said: “If naval pilots are running into unexplained interference in the air, that’s a safety concern Senator Warner believes we need to get to the bottom of,” Politico reported. Apparently, none of these recent objects posed any threat to the military flyers.

That’s the latest, in regard to Unidentified Aerial Phenomena. They have been called UFOs or Unidentified Flying Objects, or even OVNI (Objet Volant Non-Identifié) by the French, and sometimes we just call them Flying Saucers. However, we are no longer seeing just the characteristic saucer shape in these mysterious sightings; there have been cigar shaped objects, cube-shaped, ball-shaped, and even elongated asteroid-looking objects. The scariest part of all these sightings is that they are taking place all over the globe. What are these objects, travelling unencumbered in our skies, and who or what is piloting them? Are they friend or foe?

Here is where my open mindedness comes in. I have watched too many interviews and exposés to know that, even today, in the twentieth century, narrow-minded people, or scared people, seem to want to feed us the same nonsense that we have been fed since the Roswell Incident, and perhaps even since the middle ages and before. Numerous individuals, from senators to high-ranking military officers, have been shown strange, unexplainable video footage, and yet, they still haven’t got the courage to call these aerial phenomena what they are—either that, or they really do know their source: results of secret, black-ops-funded research projects. Otherwise, they must be otherworldly.

I for one, don’t believe that these objects belong to the Russians, Chicoms or the North Koreans, even if the Little Rocketman is in charge of North Korea’s missile program. All those illustrious geniuses believe that these are the results of our enemies’ possibly leapfrogging us in high technology. We’re talking here about aerial speedsters travelling at anywhere from Mach 3 to Mach 15 (762 mph x Mach designation) or 2,286 mph to 11,430 mph. If any of our Communist adversaries had been able to create these speed demons, we would already be at their mercy, and possibly even colonized by them. So, I must tell you, these unidentified speedsters don’t belong to our adversaries. They are therefore, probably, extraterrestrial in nature, and possibly even intergalactic. I also believe that they are somehow connected to the Creators I wrote about in previous articles, who created us, or, the Creators who created our Creators. Remember?

Well, here is one reason why I believe this: back in 1954, at age 12, a friend and I saw a flying saucer, which had landed on the plateau above the little town of Algrange, in the Moselle district of France. We had just gotten out of school and were on our way home while kicking a soccer ball around. Some kids, running down from the hill, convinced us to deviate from our course by telling us that they had seen a flying saucer landing up on top of the plateau. Neither of us believed any of it, but being curious enough, we decided to climb up the hill to the plateau.

To our surprise, at about a third of a mile distance, to our left and next to a fifteen foot tall hillock, there was indeed what appeared to be a circular object, emitting multiple colored halo of light, sitting on, or floating just above the grassy surface, just a few feet from the line of trees covering the back side of the mountain. We were awestruck by the sight and began slowly advancing toward the unidentified glowing thing, which, upon closer examination, did appear to be circular in shape—sort of like a saucer with a bowl sitting upside down on top of it.

We cut our forward movement short and never did get very close to the glowing thing, as our imagination led us to believe that this thing had come from Mars and its occupants were hell-bent on kidnapping us. So, we turned tail and ran back the way we had come, back down the hill, all the way home. In retrospect, I wish that we could have mustered up a little more courage and would have gotten a bit closer. (If you’re interested in the complete story, it is included in my book, DISPLACED, published by ALIVE Books).

The whole point of including my little incident in this article is, since that time, I have been interested in what’s going on in the skies above, as well as news of strange objects either landing or crashing, as well as the involvement of the military in their recovery.

The other reason for including my experience is that the shape of this strange aerial vehicle, which as it so happens, had been incorporated in several renaissance paintings as well as sculptures going back several thousand years. There have been images of strange flying vehicles found on the walls of pyramids in Egypt, tombs in India, Japan, China, and in Maya and Aztec structures. The reason I’m pointing this out is to show you that these strange flying objects have been around for quite a while, and yet learned academics and military and government officials still believe that they are not real—or at least, they tell us that they do not believe in their presence in our reality.

It does make one wonder whether they (these high-level mucky mucks) know much more than they’re willing to admit. Also, why all the cover-up and secrecy, especially lately, since the proverbial cat (UFO) is out of the bag and has been seen on military videos from jet fighters and has been shown on almost all of the mainstream media channels?

So, you ask “how does any and all of this connect to your (my) theory on who created us and where those creators come from?”

To get around the Cosmos, you need some sort of super speedy conveyance that can travel great distances in a very short time. What we are seeing in these videos taken by military pilots, are objects that can outmaneuver our fastest jet fighters with spectacular aerobatics that would be impossible to duplicate with even our latest model jets of today. The G-forces exerted by these unknown aerial vehicles doing those impossible maneuvers would kill any human pilot, which is why I don’t believe they originate on planet Earth, or else, they are piloted by androids or robots.

So, the big question we should really be asking is, why are they here, what is their purpose or mission; whoever or whatever they may be? My theory is that they are the Monitors or Watchers or if you like—the Observers sent here by the Creators—to check on humanity’s progress in attaining a higher level in their evolutionary plan. As I have written in prior articles, they (the Creators) basically planted us here on planet Earth. They periodically tweak our genome over the millennia and of course, watch over our progress.

As numerous people all over the world have claimed to have been abducted and (medically) examined with various laboratory samples being taken; they are truly keeping a very close eye on us. Either that, or planet Earth is nothing more than a giant zoo, for all the civilizations in the Cosmos to have a central repository of human and animal samples. Could the Earth actually be Noah’s Ark; I mean, the whole planet? Now, there’s something to think about.

Whatever you think or believe, there is plenty of evidentiary data to support my theory; that Humans did not originate on this planet. In his book, Humans are Not from Earth, Ellis Silver, Ph.D., an Ecologist, seems to agree with some of what I have been theorizing and writing, and gives his reasoning as to why he believes that we (Humans) are not of this Earth. He writes, Mankind is supposedly the most advanced species on the planet yet is unsuited and ill-equipped for Earth’s environment.

Paraphrasing some of his conclusions:

Humans suffer from bad backs because they evolved on a world with much lower gravity. We also have a lot of joint issues in our shoulders and the knees. Ruminate on this little factoid: standard atmospheric pressure is about 14.7 pounds per sq. inch at sea level. That’s the equivalent of holding a small car (you know, one of those Smart Cars) on your head at all time. Children are born with such large heads, making their delivery, not only very difficult but painful for the mother giving birth; the only species on this planet with this issue. We humans were not created to be exposed to the sun for great periods of time, without getting sunburned and over longer spans, risk getting Squamous cell carcinoma or skin cancer. Consider lizards and other wild animals that are able to live out in the open, under the Sun, full time, because they were designed for this planet. At a lecture many years ago, the presenter also brought up the issue of why so many of us have allergies or cannot eat certain kinds of foods.

I could go on, but I want to get back to our Monitors and how they are able to flit about in their ultra-high-speed flying vehicles and the fact that they seem to have been with us since time immemorial. Think about this: they are mentioned in the Bible, the Book of Mormon, Northern, Central and South American Indian lore, Chinese, Hindu and Japanese legends, Australian Aboriginal and Easter Island tales, as well as too many other writings to mention here, all clearly describing very similar origins for mankind and its interactions with visitors from the stars. So why, do those in the know in government and the sciences refuse to acknowledge that fact that interstellar voyagers, going back millennia have been in contact with us earthlings? Arrogance, perhaps? Or is it ignorance?

Those who have been shown the evidence but refuse to accept it for what it is, have blinders on their brains. To be continued…

With one out in the bottom of the sixth inning and runners on first and third the eight and under girls All Star softball team I was coaching was feeling the pressure. This being the second game of a two game tournament, intensity was high. Little Jillian, the heart and soul of our team, dug in at the plate and with one swing of the bat her single to left drove in Madeline for the winning run. The dug-out erupted with the shrieking sound of little girls as they poured out onto the field to celebrate the victory. They were as genuinely excited as if they had just won a nationally televised Olympic game against a heavily favored team from Cuba. As I looked around the field at the sight of proud parents, engaged coaches, euphoric and disappointed players, meandering siblings, and relieved league officials, I thought to myself: could we be any luckier? Could freedom and independence in the suburbs be any more clearly defined than by a competitive softball game for little girls on a beautiful Sunday morning?

Having just celebrated another Fourth of July—Independence Day—I am so thankful and appreciative for the liberty we enjoy in our charmed Tri Valley lives. We drive our impractically large SUVs three blocks to purchase an overpriced Grande Mocha Al Pacino at Starbucks, we watch meaningless reality shows on our massive plasma TVs and we have cell phones that are also computers, music players, cameras, video cameras, and God knows what else when the alert is switched to vibrate. Common sense tells us we have too many extravagances in our lives and we should make more of an effort to conserve for our country, ourselves, and our kids future. Maybe it’s idealistic to think that most of us would be willing to do something, anything, to ensure that our children grow up happy, healthy and safe pursuing their childhood dreams, whether they are on a field, auditorium, classroom, or stage. Freedom and independence have a price and to just be grateful doesn’t seem enough.

It’s not a revolutionary statement to say life isn’t so free in other parts of the world.  In hundreds of countries around the globe organized youth sports are not part of the daily routine. Sure kids will always find a place to play, but children in those countries live with poverty, fear, and atrocities, the likes of which we’ll never know. Yet on any given day of the week you can drive the streets of suburban neighborhoods around the United States and see kids of every age participating in soccer, softball, baseball, basketball and even lacrosse (which I don’t yet get). This is where the spirit of competition is first experienced. To score a goal, to catch a fly ball, or finish a race are all beautiful productions. Is there anything more pure than a child’s smile when he or she accomplishes an athletic feat for the first time? As parents, it is our responsibility to nurture this opportunity by ensuring that our kids appreciate these activities or by volunteering our time to be involved as a coach, umpire, or league official as an expression of our appreciation.

Granted it’s hard to keep the kids uncorrupted with the attention the media gives professional athletes in this country.  If an athlete does something good we hear about it (Tiger Woods, Oscar De La Hoya, Natalie Coughlin) if it’s bad we hear about it (Barry Bonds, Michael Vick, Pac Man Jones) and if it’s entertaining you hear about it (Dale Earnhardt Jr., Venus Williams, the Golden State Warriors). Pressure to achieve is everywhere. Even in youth sports there’s over-the-top coaches, parents, and peers constantly looming. I admire organizations like the Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA) for their ongoing commitment to assist organization such as the San Ramon Valley Girls Athletic League (SRVGAL) and Mustang Soccer in their never ending quest to remind parents and coaches that it’s just a game.

Kids participating in sports can have either a positive or negative experience and it ultimately comes down to the philosophy and culture instilled by those in charge. Unfortunately too often it’s the coaches and parents who truly need to embrace PCA values that are in the back of the room talking, outside on their cell phones, or don’t bother attending the meetings at all. But like any organization with a large membership, one can only hope the fundamentals are in place and a majority of the members participate for the right reasons. 

Getting back to our All Start game, after a close first game against the other U8 North team, we squared off against a team from the South division in the consolation game. “Consolation” means we lost the first game. At our two weekday practices prior to Sunday’s tournament, my coaches, Traci and Kathy, and I, tried to instill a sense of pride, teamwork, and sportsmanship in our recently selected All Stars. All Star players, at this age, are chosen by their coaches and teammates to represent their respective team. We told the girls everyone will play and we would be rotating positions so that every player could contribute equally. While competition is healthy and winning or losing is a byproduct of talent and preparation, we, as coaches, know there will be plenty “must win” games in their future, so it was more important to us that the girls had a wonderfully fun experience.

Did I mention that most of the girls are seven years old?  Needless to say it’s more fun to win than lose and in the second game we pulled out one hum-baby of a victory. All tied up going into the top of the sixth the other team loaded the bases before our girls recorded three straight outs highlighted by a running catch in center field by Kelsey to end the inning. Fortunately when we scored in the bottom half of the inning our players got an opportunity to experience the sweet taste of victory.

When recently asked what comes to mind when I think of “Freedom and Independence,” I thought of our pitcher, Amanda, with a 100 watt smile on her dirt-smudged face, looking up to me at one point during the game and saying, “Coach Mike, this is really exciting.”

Freedom and independence for me is living in a place that allows our kids this endearing freedom to just be kids and the independence to participate in sports for the love of the game.

Originally published in ALIVE Magazine, February 2009.

When I hear the name Doris Day I picture the All-American, talented blonde with a vibrant personality, wholesome good looks who is equally talented in both singing and acting.  

I have always admired the music and films of Doris Day and remember hearing her sing the tune, “Ten Cents a Dance” in the MGM film, Love Me or Leave Me where she played the role of singer, Ruth Etting. Actor James Cagney played the role of Martin “The Gimp” Snyder and together they lit up the screen. For me this was one of Day’s strongest roles in Hollywood. The film soundtrack album spent about seventeen weeks at # 1, made millions at the box office and generated six Academy Award nominations,- winning for Best Story.

Recently, I was eager to interview Ms. Doris Day and learned that she doesn’t do appearances or grant interviews anymore. Her representative kindly let me know that Doris Day prefers spending time with her “four-legged” family and continues to work with her two public service organizations for the betterment of animals.

Having a soft spot for animals, Doris Day founded two non-profit organizations, “The Doris Day Animal Foundation,” (responsible for over one-million spays and neuters) and, “The Doris Day Animal League,” a nonprofit, national, citizen’s lobbying organization working to improve the humane treatment of animals, which recently merged with the Humane Society of the United States.

When she was a young girl her dog was hit by a car and she eventually set out to help many animals and is making a difference in the world. I recently read a quote by Doris Day: All my life I have never felt lonely with a dog I loved at my side. I love people and animals, though not necessarily in that order.

Doris Day is “America’s Original American Sweetheart.” She’s a woman of great strength; as an actress, singer, business woman, and animal advocate with a big heart. Her name still tops the “Most-admired” lists and polls worldwide. She resides in Carmel California, one of the most beautiful places in the world.

To add to Day’s many ongoing achievements, she is the co-owner, along with Dennis Le Vett, of the “Cypress Inn,” in Carmel, California.  The wonderful thing about this hotel is that guests can bring their cats and dogs—that’s right—your little furry friends! “We also offer pet blankets and lots of cookies at the front desk,”says general manager, Nancy Slade. There is live music in Terry’s Lounge on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and Doris Day films may be viewed by request in the “Day Room.”

In the hotel restaurant they have one section that is “pet-friendly” and a separate section for people who don’t necessarily want to dine with pets, so customers can get the best of both worlds at the Cypress Inn. “Carmel has always been very special to me and to my partners. We are delighted that our Cypress Inn is part of what makes Carmel one of the most loved destinations,” saidMs. Day.

In her heyday, Doris Day was a top selling box-office movie star and singer who stole the hearts of many Americans, starting in the 1930s up to and through the 1970s. In 1985 she agreed to do a cable show devoted to pets called, “Doris Day’s Best Friends.” Eventually she retired from show business.

As a star, she was most popular in the late 1940s through the 1960s and still has a fan base today. While doing my research I found several Doris Day fan websites on the internet and memorabilia for sale on EBay.

Not only has Doris Day been a long-time American Sweetheart, but her track record is quite impressive. She has sung some of the most memorable songs ever written:  Sentimental Journey, Teacher’s Pet, Secret Love, It’s Magic, A Guy is a Guy, and of course, Que Sera Sera (Whatever Will Be Will Be), written by Ray Evans and Jay Livingston, which won an Academy award for Best Original Song in the hit film, “The Man Who Knew Too Much,” starring Doris Day and Jimmy Stewart.

Day got her start as a big band singer and quickly became a leading star in both singing and acting, becoming a number one box-office attraction and top-selling singer. While holding her own in musicals, dramas, suspense, and comedies, she was perfectly capable of both singing and acting with many hit songs under her belt and big blockbuster films to her credit. She was as equally good in both careers, though many tragedies in her personal life were camouflaged by the light and fluffy films and romantic and bluesy songs that she is known for today.

Doris Day could sing a variety of musical styles, from big band to ballads. She could sing the sweetest romantic love song ever written to the sultriest, bluesy song that could send chills up your spine. Sentimental Journey was definitely one of her great signature songs. After its release in 1945, it soon became an anthem for the desire of World War II demobilizing troops to return home. This song is still associated with Day, and was re-recorded by her on several occasions.

She put her sentimental signature on some other dynamic songs as well, including Love Me or Leave Me, I Only Have Eyes For You, Day By Day, My Dreams Are Getting Better All The Time, Aren’t You Glad You’re You and Come To Baby, Do.

Throughout her career as an actress she co-starred with such greats as Cary Grant, Clark Gable, Frank Sinatra, James Cagney, Rock Hudson, James Stewart and Ronald Reagan. In the late 1940s, Day was fortunate to team up with crooner/actor Frank Sinatra on the “Hit Parade” radio show and began recording with Columbia Records. 

Even though Doris Day is an American icon, she is well-loved all over the world for both her music and her films, along with her dedication to animals. She was born in Ohio on April 3^rd 1922 as Doris Mary Ann Von Kappelhoff. She started off as a dancer, but after a serious automobile accident that injured her legs, she began listening to singers on the jukebox and on the radio, soon realizing that she could sing.

In 1939, she joined the “Barney Rapp’s Band” and moved onto the “Bob Crosby Band” in 1940. Soon thereafter, she had a stint with the “Les Brown Band” and Bob Hope followed. She toured extensively across the United States and her popularity as a radio performer and vocalist, including a second hit record, “My Dreams Are Getting Better All the Time,”led her directly to a career in films.

The 1959 film, Pillow Talk with heart-throb Rock Hudson, started her career in romantic comedies. She got the Best Actress nomination and the film was a box-office success. In 1963, she starred with James Garner in the film, The Thrill of It All.  Other Day films include: Teacher’s Pet opposite hunk Clark Gable, Lover Come Back, Tea For Two, April In Paris, Jumbo, Calamity Jane, Romance on the High Seas, The Pajama Game, Please Don’t Eat the Daisies and Young At Heart, with ol’ blue eyes himself, Frank Sinatra.

Doris Day found a new way for her energy and we remember her raspy, bluesy, lullaby-like singing voice, her pitch-perfect comedic timing and talent in film, and her dedication to the welfare of our “four-legged” friends. 

Que Sera, Sera—“whatever will be will be,” as Ms. Doris Day enjoys her eighties and beyond, as she continues on her Sentimental Journey.

Please visit: http://ddaf.org and http://cypress-inn.com

My readers should be proud of me, because if you’ll recall from my January article (2011) one of my New Year’s resolutions was to further my education with an advanced degree from a reputable college. With that laser-focused goal in mind, last fall in enrolled in the San Francisco Comedy College. I’m proud to announce that I recently finished all my coursework, took my final exams, and earned my graduate degree in humorous magazine writing, with an emphasis in satire and whimsy. Graduation was a magical day for me and my family. At the commencement ceremony, I even adhered to the school tradition of going commando under my cap and gown. It was secretly liberating until those crazy alumni turned up the wind machines leaving the graduating class holding more than just our diplomas.

Do you want to know what they call the guy who finishes last in his comedy college class? Loser! I bet you thought the answer to that question was going to be more like the medical school question, where the guy who finishes last in his medical class is still called doctor, right? So did I! Apparently, Comedy College is a lot more judgmental than Doctor College.

I should have known that Comedy College was no picnic when right away I had trouble securing housing. Yea, because I got a late start, all the good dorms were full. Chucklehead Hall, Giggles Quarters, Cockoo Commons and even Griffendorks were all booked solid. I ended up living at a Holiday Inn Express where my roommates were a couple of meth heads and some guy in the witness protection program. I didn’t know you could get any more economical than a regular Holiday Inn, but the HI Express dorms would prove otherwise. I’m pretty sure I saw a dead clown floating in the pool.

Hoping to meet a few fellow students, I decided to rush a fraternity at the start of the semester. Again, bad choice. Those fraternity funny boys love to haze the freshmen and my Facebook page is now forever ruined thanks to those embarrassing rush party photos. Don’t worry, it wasn’t a real Emu. The upper classmen thought it was hilarious to put Super Glue in the Purell bottles, lock in our music apps to Celine Dion and at the “It Depends” social night of drinking we had only one bathroom option… and we were wearing it. The lone house to extend me an initiation bid was Alpha Beta Poo. Our ABP crest is a poop emoji in a shopping cart.  

Classes were tough, but I persevered thanks to my tutor, comedy writer and stand-up comic Tony Camin. Tony charged me $112/hour, which is roughly twice as much as he makes headlining at most comedy clubs. That said, his homework insights and test taking advice was crucial to my academic success. For my senior project, I wrote a paper entitled GOT, the comedy. It was a tale of how beheadings, dragons and Incest could have been played for laughs, making the HBO series, Game of Thrones, a sitcom. It got an F-, but at Comedy College that was a good grade. I think?

Our college didn’t have a big sports program. Instead of football, basketball and baseball, we had marbles, curling and corn-hole. We didn’t offer athletic scholarships because we competed in the WAC – Western Athletic-less Conference. Our big-game rallies and bonfires were done online to reduce our carbon footprint and because no one would probably come anyway. Our Comedy College mascot is the cougar. Not the mountain lion big cat, but an older woman pursuing a younger man type of cougar.

Our grad night was held at Tommy T’s Comedy Club in Pleasanton where, after watching an entertaining show featuring SFCC alumni, David Vanavermaete, my fellow grads and I, took turns on stage singing karaoke until the wee hours of the morning. My “go-to” song that night was Electric Lady by Con Funk Shun. I still can’t remember how I got home or where I left my pants.

My undergrad college experience might have been a lot more enjoyable and memorable, but I’m glad I fulfilled my lifelong goal—even if my diploma is printed on the back of a Chick-fil-a napkin.

Comedy College isn’t for everyone, but I will proudly wear my grad school SFCC Cougars apparel at the next business networking event I attend for Alive Magazine.