May 2016

Dear SSHS,

I was out to dinner last week at a fun, new restaurant downtown and my date was rather short with the wait staff who were doing their very best to please her. The drink was too sweet, the tapas too small, I was actually quite embarrassed. She told me she’s going through a difficult time in her life, so do I cut her some slack or is this a red flag?    –Mr. Nice Guy, Walnut Creek

She Said: I’m going to have to go with red flag or at least yellow. The way people treat others is a real indicator of who they are at the core. I don’t change my core when I’m going through a difficult time, do you? If you want to be certain, go ahead and see her again, and make sure you go somewhere where you must interact with service staff. Watch closely. If she’s rude again, you have your answer.

He Said: I agree with Robin but I’ll take it a step further and say that this is a major red flag. Everyone has bad days but that doesn’t mean you should take it out on the staff at a restaurant or complain about everything to the point where it ruins your date. Dating is supposed to be the best part of a relationship and if you’re not enjoying her company on the first couple dates, then the future could be a very rough ride.

Dear HSSS,

My husband and I are divorcing but we still live in the same house until we can make other arrangements. I was gone for a couple of weeks and returned to find evidence that my husband is “entertaining” someone new, in our home! I’m livid but wonder if I have the right to be. I could sure use some perspective.      — Hell Hath No Fury, Orinda

He Said: First off, let’s understand that he’s not YOURS anymore. This means that he’s not YOUR husband, YOUR lover, or YOUR companion. Basically he should be free to do what he wants and doesn’t necessarily need to wait until the ink is dry on the divorce decree. Now, should he have done this in your shared house? It would have been respectful if he hadn’t, but if there was no prior understanding between the two of you regarding this, then I see no problem here. At least he waited until you were out of town.

She Said: I have to wonder about the mindset of the woman who came over and saw all your clothes and makeup lying about. But that’s not what you asked. To Shawn’s point, yes, you might have set up some ground rules while still residing in the same house. It’s not too late to do that. I would have been livid too. You weren’t prepared for a stranger to be poking around YOUR house, and you know she was! It was bad form on everyone’s part, but people do behave badly in divorce. It’s time for a discussion regarding boundaries that must be honored during this very difficult time.

Robin Fahr is a communications specialist and host of Conversations seen daily on Tri-Valley TV, Channel 30 and online at www.trivalleytv.org. Shawn and Robin also host He Said/She Said on      TheTalkPod.com.  Send your questions to www.AskHeSaidSheSaid.com.

Some produce is so perfect in its natural state that it’s almost a shame to mess with it. Take locally-grown strawberries, for instance. Oh sure, you can boil them up for jam or jelly, or toss them with rhubarb for a rosy pie filling that tastes of spring. You can bake them into an airy soufflé or freeze them into icy sorbets. All very nice. Or you can just grab one by its little green cap and pop it into in your mouth… and the taste sensation probably won’t be any less spectacular.

But after staring at unadorned berries on your morning cereal for eight days in a row—no matter how good they are–it’s understandable that you might want to vary your intake. That’s when a show-stopping dessert comes into play.

The following recipe contains three little tweaks that make it stand out from the ordinary:

1. The berries are combined with a splash of orange juice for both its fragrance and its subtle acidity. (If you want to get fancy-schmancy, use an orange liqueur instead of the juice.)
2. A bit of sugar marries the orange with the natural juices from the berries to form a more perfect union. Then some of the berries are smashed to create a saucy texture.
3. Buttermilk makes the orange-flecked biscuits exceptionally tender; and a touch of cornmeal gives them a pleasantly sandy quality to offset the richness of the whipped cream. And that is how you spell perfection.

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE L’ORANGE

4 pint-baskets (8 cups)farm-fresh strawberries, rinsed, hulled, and halved
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 to 2 tablespoons fresh orange juice, to taste
2 cups heavy (whipping) cream, preferably NOT ultra-pasteurized
3 tablespoons powdered (confectioners’) sugar, plus extra for garnish
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
8 Cornmeal-Buttermilk Biscuits (recipe follows)
Optional: 8 small mint sprigs, for garnish

1. In a bowl, combine the strawberries, granulated sugar, and orange juice. Stir to mix, coarsely mashing about 1/4 of the berries with the back of a spoon. Let stand 15 minutes to dissolve the sugar and let the flavors blend. (This can be made a day in advance; just cover and refrigerate.)

2. Using an electric mixer or a large whisk, whip the cream with the powdered sugar and vanilla until soft peaks form.

3. To assemble, use a serrated knife to carefully split each biscuit in half. Place the bottoms on 8 dessert plates. Top each with a large spoonful of the berries and their juices, and then a heaping 1/4 cup of whipped cream. Cover with biscuit tops. Place a dollop of the remaining whipped cream over each biscuit, and top with the remaining berries. Dust powdered sugar over all and garnish with mint, if desired. Serve at once. Makes 8.

Cornmeal-Buttermilk Biscuits

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup finely ground yellow cornmeal
1/4 cup granulated sugar, plus 4 teaspoons for sprinkling on tops
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt
6 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces
Finely grated zest of 1 orange
3/4 cup cold, well-shaken buttermilk, plus extra to brush on the shortcakes

1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. In a food processor, combine the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Process briefly to blend. Add the butter and orange zest. Process, pulsingthe machine on and off, until the dough resemblesvery coarse meal. With the machine running, pour in the buttermilk, mixing only until incorporated. Bits of butter should still be visible.

2. Scrape the dough onto a lightly floured work surface. Knead once or twice until smooth. Working quickly, roll or pat the dough into a 1-inch thick disk. Using a 3-inch biscuit cutter dipped in flour, cut out as many biscuits as possible. Gently gather together the dough trimmings, pat into another 1-inch thick disk, and cut more biscuits.

3. Arrange the biscuits 2-inches apart on a parchment-lined baking sheet; brush with  buttermilkand sprinkle with the remaining 4 teaspoons sugar. Bake until golden and firm to the touch, 10 to 15 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool. Serve slightly warm or at room temperature. These are best served the same day they are made. Makes 8.

Savvy Cook’s Know-How

–Alternatively, the dough can of course be made by hand: In a large bowl, combine the flour, cornmeal, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Whisk gently to blend. Add the pieces of cold butter and the orange zest, tossing to coat with the flour mixture. Using a pastry blender, 2 forks, or your fingertips, quickly cut the butter into the dry ingredients until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Stir in the buttermilk and proceed as directed in Step 2.

–No buttermilk? No problem. Pour 1 tablespoon of fresh lemon juice or distilled white vinegar into a glass measuring cup; then stir in enough cold milk to make 3/4 cup. Let stand for 10 to 15 minutes, until the milk has curdled. (When you reach Step 3 in the biscuit recipe, just brush the shortcakes with plain milk.)

–If you don’t have a 3-inch round cookie cutter, use the similarly-sized rim of a drinking glass, dipped in flour, to cut the biscuits.

–The first biscuits you cut from the dough will inevitably rise the most evenly and be the best looking. Take care when gathering the dough for the second batch, handling it as little as possible.Over-working biscuit dough results in tough biscuits.

–Ultra-pasteurized cream is a favorite with many supermarket managers because it has a ridiculously long shelf-life. Unfortunately it also has a vaguely plastic flavor and takes forever-and-a-day to whip. Forget the “ultra” and opt for pasteurized heavy cream—organic, if possible—and you will be much happier with the result. This is no time to cut corners.

–The simple strawberry mixture is delicious on its own, so you may want to whip up another batch to use in other ways. (That is, in ways other than eating it directly out of the refrigerator.)

For example:

–For a light and lovely dessert, spoon the berries and their juices into a martini or wine glass and top with a dollop of Greek yogurt or whipped cream.

–For a sensational sundae, top a fudgy brownie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ladle strawberry sauce over the top.

–For the fat-phobic, serve it alongside angel food cake.

–Layer it in parfaits, or use as a topping for French toast, waffles, or pancakes; your favorite ice        cream, frozen yogurt, or sorbet.Or, for a special breakfast, drizzle the strawberry sauce over an omelet         filled with a bit of cream cheese or soft goat cheese.

As the season moves on, mix things up by using an assorted berries, like strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries for your shortcakes.
Berry Good Tips
–Did you buy more berries than you can possibly consume in one day? Here’s a storage secret from one of our growers: Line a plastic container with a layer or two of paper towels to absorb any excess moisture. Gently pile in the unwashed strawberries with their caps intact. Top with another layer of paper towel, seal with an airtight lid, and store in the refrigerator for up to 1 week.

–Wait until just before using to wash strawberries and/or remove their green caps. Washing berries removes their shiny, naturally protective outer layer; and those caps prevent water from soaking into the strawberries and diluting their flavor and altering the texture.

–To wash, place berries in a colander or large sieve and rinse quickly under a gentle spray of cold water. Pat dry with paper towels and remove the green caps, if desired.
The Danville Certified Farmers’ Market, located at Railroad and Prospect, is open every Saturday, rain or shine, from 9 a.m. until 1 p.m. For specific crop information call the Pacific Coast Farmers’ Market Association at 1-800-949-FARM, or visit their web site at www.pcfma.org. This market is made possible through the generous support of the Town of Danville. Please show your appreciation by patronizing the many fine shops and restaurants located in downtown Danville. Buy fresh. Buy local. Live well!

 

I can’t believe I’m doing this two months in a row.  I tried not to do it but I just had to.  You see, I watched Boyhood.  Afterwards, I was a little down and decided I would watch one of my Grandkids’ favorites, Inside Out.

Boyhood is quite literally one of a kind. Director and Writer, Richard Linklater started this project in 2002. The four main actors in this film remained the same over a twelve year production.  I don’t even remember what I looked like twelve years ago! Linklater gathered a core ensemble cast and filmed for approximately a month every year. He took a few weeks to write the next “chapter” and then spent about the same amount of time filming. He then waited another year and did it again. This process was fascinating.  You quite literally get to watch the characters lose weight, gain weight, get zits and grow their hair, then cut their hair. You get to see Mason, Jr. (Ellar Coltrane) go from a sweet faced six-year old to a tall, lanky eighteen year old.

I’ve often thought that all kids have stages where they—shall I say it?—go through “homely” phases. Of course my own kids and grandkids didn’t but the characters in Boyhood surely did!  This film is like a time capsule. While the premise was brilliant, the script for this fictional family was, in my opinion, just okay.  It’s a little like watching reality TV. Am I glad I watched it? Most certainly. The talented Ethan Hawke, as Mason Sr. was wonderful. In twelve years, he goes from a somewhat deadbeat Dad to a devoted family man.  Patricia Arquette, is Olivia, the Mom trying to make a life for herself and her family. She literally burns through three husbands in the twelve years. The film is often raw, sometimes endearing, but primarily boring.

Director-Writer, Richard Linklater’s daughter, Lorelei plays the fourth member of the ensemble. She is the older sister, Samantha. More of the same.

While interesting, the emotional aspects of Boyhood left me wanting more. It felt like it scratched the surface.

I may have been one of the few people, who hadn’t watched the animated gem, Inside Out.  Quite frankly, I felt that it was somewhat silly to do a movie about little animated characters with names like, Sad, Disgust, Anger and alas, Joy, living in a young girl’s head, I mean “Control Center.” Watching the film, I was engaged with anticipation.  Pixar/Disney did it again! What a beautifully simple way of explaining our emotions and I didn’t have to lie on a couch or spend $400.

Now you get the opportunity to judge me. Richard Linklater hit a homerun with Boyhood.  In the awards arena it had 200 nominations and walked away with 168 wins, including Best Actress in a Supporting Role for Patricia Arquette. The Academy also nominated it for Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor for Ethan Hawke, Directing and writing for Linklater and Best Film Editing. After all that, I may have to turn in my pen.

Having said that, Inside Out walked away with 2016 Best Animated Film.

Both films have a story to tell in very different genres, aimed at totally different audiences.

 

 

At long last, we were blessed with April showers. As we all remember, they bring May flowers. Let’s take a look at some famous “flowers.”

 

1. Although barred from membership in the Baseball Hall of Fame, who had the most lifetime hits in Major League history?

 

2. What the name the great love of his life, who was married to another, of the Great Gatsby?

 

3. What was the name of Lil Abner Yokum’s mother in the classic comic strip?

 

4. In what excellent 1979 movie did Peter Sellers play Chance the Gardener?

 

5. It was the most infamous crime in California of the 1940s and was known by the name of a flower and its color. What was it known as?

 

6. For what 1969 movie did Goldie Hawn win an Oscar?

For many it is the traditional kick-off of summer; a day when friends and family gather to enjoy warmer weather traditions of barbeques, baseball and beer. Invariably however, on the Friday before Memorial Day weekend, I feel a tad uncomfortable saying things like, “Have a happy Memorial Day holiday,” as I remember it may not be all that happy for some.

What was originally called Decoration Day began immediately after the Civil War, as the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers were decorated with flowers as a way to honor the fallen. On May 30, 1868, the first official Decoration Day was declared at Arlington National Cemetery. During WWII it was expanded to honor all Americans who died in military service and renamed Memorial Day, finally becoming a federal holiday in 1971.

Since our nation’s founding, over one million American patriots have lost their lives in war; nearly half during the Civil War and another 400,000+ in WWII. The remaining thousands fought and died in wars since the American Revolution (4,435) to Korea (54,246), Vietnam (90,220), the Gulf War (1,564), and ongoing still, as we wage our War on Terror since 9/11 (7,000).

The sad reality of Memorial Day is that while these numbers represent the highest degree of patriotism and sacrifice, they also signify personal loss. In every case, someone lost a son or daughter; a brother or sister; father, mother or other relative. Someone lost their best friend.

During and after the Civil War nearly every family in America was directly touched by loss so the appreciation of sacrifice was deep and universal. During WWII, that appreciation was still high as twelve percent of Americans served in the military. Today less than one percent of Americans serve in active or reserve military, so we are all less likely to know the personal pain born of a patriot’s ultimate sacrifice; a life given freely for the freedom we enjoy.

As we celebrate our reunions and enjoy each others company in parks and backyards this Memorial Day, let us not forget the families of the fallen. Let’s extend our hands and hearts to those who have given so much, and let them know that we shall forever appreciate and honor their sacrifice.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13