Column

Confidence is beautiful!
A woman that is confident radiates strength, passion, and conviction. A confident woman is not afraid to be herself. She has high self-awareness, knows all aspects of herself, and trusts her instincts. She knows that she is beautiful just the way she is, regardless of what the media dictates.

That beautiful black dress, heels and make-up can make you feel a little sexier, but the sexiest thing about you doesn’t have a color or shape. You can’t touch it, but you sure can feel it … it’s self-confidence!
Being comfortable with who you are, is ultimately what’s behind this new movement that redefines sexy from appearance to inner strength. It’s no longer about what others think of you or trying to live up to a man’s idea or media’s image of what beauty is, it’s what you think of yourself, that makes you sexy.

The Strength to Be Confident
Beauty is far beyond skin deep. There are “beautiful” women who think negatively about their appearance, and women who, some might say, are not as “beautiful,” yet they exude confidence and self-acceptance. That inner-strength to positively believe in who you are and own your body, is the strength you have to build to become sexy.
That mental toughness is only built through believing your own hype. If you don’t create hype for yourself, you have nothing to believe in but only what others think of you. Change that today by coming up with your own self-confidence mantra.

As an insecure woman, you rely on others and put a lot of expectations on them to validate you and make you feel good. It is absolutely essential for you to feel good about yourself and know yourself, FIRST – before you have wonderful deserving relationships.

How you feel about yourself, and how you carry yourself is ultimately more important than how you look (Although I do think taking care of yourself and wearing your own style of make-up fills the pretty side of your soul). Many people find other qualities more important than looks. Other qualities like confidence and self-esteem! Trying to please others or live up to others’ expectations is not sexy. To build strength and define your own beauty, consider your body and looks in your own definition of sexy.

It isn’t until you accept yourself and change your mindset that you can truly start moving in the right direction, and positive change will follow. The strength to accept yourself comes from knowing your own importance. The body you want is only possible through the body you’ve got. Loving it, accepting it, and treating your whole body with love from head to toe, is essential to being sexy. So embrace the face and body you’ve got, in all its sexy glory, so you can move towards a positive outlook on life and confident persona.

Kill the fat talk (and skinny talk, too!) Too many times there’s an “us against them” struggle between “overweight” and “skinny” people. This shouldn’t be. The put-downs, stares, and judgments need to stop! Accepting an individual is the best way to accept your own body and is the first step to stop comparing yourself to others. Empowering other women is by far the sexiest and most meaningful.

The most beautiful people I know are the people that are beautiful from within. They love themselves and the world around them. Absolute confidence comes from within us, not from outside influences –and THAT is a beautiful thing.

My apologies for being a bit nonplussed. I had the great fortune of attending the 5th game of the recent NLCS playoffs at AT&T Park in San Francisco. I don’t think I can slip a Travis Ishikawa question past our discerning readers. Speaking of San Francisco (I was anyway), try the following.

1. The greatest car chase in movie history took place in San Francisco as Steve McQueen and the pursued covered every section of SF by simply turning a corner. What was the name of this classic movie?

2. The Giants came to town in 1958. Candlestick Park was not built until 1960. Where did the Giants play those first few years?

3. The current anthem to SF is Tony Bennett’s “I Left My Heart in San Francisco,” but prior to that it was the title song from the 1936 movie “San Francisco.” Who sang it in the movie?

4. Who was the mayor of San Francisco when Candlestick Park was built?

5. Who were the two stars of the TV show “Streets of San Francisco?”

6. In the 40’s, a future TV star played “Pat Novak for Hire,” a detective show on radio that was produced in San Francisco. Who was he?

I like to consider myself a Patriot but I have to admit to some very strong praying going on when my only son reached draft age. My husband had served in Vietnam and I saw firsthand the emotional struggles that came with being a Light Infantry Squad Leader. Scars that would last a lifetime…how could they not?

I have not only a tremendous respect but an outright love for the men and women who serve us, defending America. Veteran’s Day for so many has become just another day.

What easier way to build a little awareness, than a movie or two this month. While some people love military movies, many of us stay as far away as possible. Political views on war? Get over it! Whichever side of that fence you’re on, we still need defenders in our society. Without our military there would be no America!

There are so many good ones, I didn’t know where to start. When you reach back to the very early years in America we have the brilliance of Glory, God’s and Generals (long but good) and Gettysburg.

World War I brought us the epic All Quiet on the Western Front. The 1979 made for TV version with Richard Thomas actually paled in comparison to the 1930 classic. Go for the original if you can find it!

Saving Private Ryan is to me the benchmark for World War II movies. The first five minutes almost had me walking out of the theater but once I settled into the horrible realities of war I was set for a real education. This is a “must see” movie. If you are looking for an earlier vintage WWII movie you can’t go wrong with Bridge on the River Kwai or The Thin Red Line.

I had a little problem putting together a list of Korean Conflict (I’m sure it felt like a war to those who were there) films. Battle Hymn and The Bridges of Toko-Ri are a couple, but the standout, probably because of the popular TV Series was Mash. I’m sure there are still reruns showing somewhere!

Vietnam. Now we’re getting to the point in time that many have been touched by. One of the greatest tragedies of Vietnam is how the war was portrayed by Hollywood. One of the most honest accounts can be found in We were Soldiers Once with Mel Gibson.

From there we move to the Middle East and more defined political opinions on our intervention. The vantage points are all over the place but the plethora of movies seems to take in them all. Some of the better attempts are Lone Survivor, The Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty.

In my opinion one of the best is Black Hawk Down but for just pure entertainment you won’t want to forget Top Gun. The music score alone is worth the viewing!! So this month reflect on our many blessings in America and know that our system of government, while not always perfect is as close as it gets. That system and our military allows us the privilege of not thinking too much about Veteran’s Day! Why don’t you change that up this year! Watch a movie and thank a Vet! As always I love your comments at chastings@rockcliff.com.

Walk into any library or book store and what surrounds you? Books, right? Well, on one level this is true… but it’s not the complete answer, is it?

Aside from bound volumes of paper with letters, symbols and images, what you are really surrounded by are messages from the past; thoughts, ideas, wisdom and stories—and the accounts of history as experienced in what was once “real” time for someone else.

So let me ask you. What would you like to say to your great, great, great grandchildren? What wisdom have you developed in your life that you would like to share with your kids—and their kids—that may save them from having to learn some of what you’ve had to learn “the hard way?”

In our fast–paced, high-tech world, we sometimes overlook the power of the written word. But as far as we have come—and as fast as it seems we have arrived at wherever we “are”—it is still true that printed words are the most enduring and impactful form of communication.

Sure, there are “classic” films; there are recordings, sculpture, paintings and other art forms that endure—but none of these compare with books in terms of volume and detail. This is why all organized methods of education are built around books.

Some, like me, believe there is a foundational, spiritual basis to the power of words—it’s why the Bible is referred to by many as, “The Word of God.” Books are the keepers of dreams and aspirations; the conduits of time transcendence through generations.

Perhaps you’ve never seriously considered your impact on the future. What will be your legacy? What would you like to contribute to the world that will be after you are no longer here? What would you like to say now that will reach forward and touch your future family and friends? One of my greatest joys with ALIVE Book Publishing is being able to help people do this every day.

Are you ready to record something for posterity? Isn’t it time to stop just thinking about your legacy?

Sit down and write!