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Dear HSSS,
My 17-year-old daughter got a texting-while-driving ticket. I swear she always has that cell phone in her hand, and I’m afraid someday she’s going to get into more trouble than just a ticket. I want to make sure the message gets through and that she learns a real lesson from this. What are your suggestions on driving the point home? ~Susanna in Pleasanton

He Said: By now everyone knows that texting while driving is waaay wrong so your teenage daughter can’t use ignorance in her defense. She endangered her life and the lives of others on the road, so in this situation there’s only one sure-fire way to drive the point home with your teenager…. temporarily take away either her car or her cell phone. I recommend taking away her driving privileges because if you take away her phone, she can easily get a new one without your knowledge. About 3-4 weeks should do it, and let her know if this happens again, the car disappears for a year.

She Said: Man, that’s harsh, Shawn, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and we don’t want to wait for something worse to happen before taking it seriously. However, if zero tolerance isn’t your parenting style, Susanna, then start with making your daughter pay the ticket, of course, and then imposing the phone check rule every time she uses the car. You’re looking for the time stamp, which may indicate if she was texting while driving. Do it regularly at first, then without notice now and again. It’s a hassle for everyone, but the inconvenience should break this dangerous habit.

Dear SSHS,
I’ve realized that one of my best friends has turned into a “fair weather friend.” He only calls me when he needs something but doesn’t pick up the phone or return messages when I call him, even if it’s just to say hello. We’ve been great friends for 15 years, but now I feel the friendship is going down a one-way street. What’s the best way to let him know this friendship is no longer working for me?
~Darren in Dublin

She Said: I hear your pain, but let’s not be hasty. You’ve been friends a long time, and those relationships can be hard to find. Your buddy may have no idea how insensitive he’s being. A good friend will tell him, and the best way to begin is by making the problem yours rather than accusing him of wrongdoing. Explain that you feel bad when he only calls for a favor and that it hurts when he doesn’t return your calls. Then ask if he was aware this was happening? If not, and he apologizes and aims to fix it, that would be better than abandoning the friendship. If he really doesn’t seem to care about the one-way street, then maybe it is time to let it go.

He Said: Welcome to the club, Darren. We’ve all had a friend like this in our lives, one who doesn’t value the friendship the same as the other. These people can feel like a cancer, really weighing you down. Robin has a point that communicating your concerns is the first step to solving problems in any relationship, but I would keep this friend on a very short leash. If you’re still unsatisfied with the friendship once you’ve gotten to the bottom of the issue, it’s time to cut him loose. Friendships can run their course, and life’s way too short to waste driving down that one-way street.

Robin Fahr and Shawn Shizzo host Conversations and He Said/She Said seen daily on Tri-Valley TV, Channel 30. Send your questions to www.AskHeSaidSheSaid.com.

Every day, 45 million Baby Boomers are taking care of their elderly parents. That’s a daunting statistic, especially when you consider most are holding down a job, caring for their own children, and completely unprepared for the stark realities of end of life issues. There are handbooks on what to expect when you’re expecting, but nobody wants to talk about what to expect when the roles are reversed – when the parent becomes the child – and it can happen so suddenly.

Stefania Shaffer, author of 9 Realities of Caring for an Elderly Parent: A Love Story of a Different Kind suddenly found herself a statistic when she received a phone call from her seemingly healthy, alert and buoyant mother, requesting that Stefania come for a long-overdue visit. By the end of the first weekend, it was evident Mom could no longer manage to be in her home by herself; the house was in ruins and so was Mom. It was enough to make Stefania uproot her own life to fulfill Mom’s wish to live out her years remaining in her own home. Shaffer imagined they would have fun until the end when she would go to sleep with a smile on her face. “Death is very clever,” says Shaffer, “and I should have been more creative in my thinking. It was five years from my arrival, when my mother died at my side.”

Like most sudden caregivers, Stefania didn’t know what she was agreeing to when she took on the job of caring for her elderly parent. If only someone had shared with her the realities this job would entail. In her second book, 9 Realities of Caring for an Elderly Parent: A Love Story of a Different Kind, Stefania offers a playbook to prepare the adult child for each of the nine realities essential to managing this journey, from de-cluttering the family home to grief counseling for the adult orphan.

Although it tackles a difficult topic, the book is as entertaining as it is helpful, sharing the touching and often heart-wrenching anecdotes and invaluable lessons learned from a daughter caring for her mother as she approaches the end of her life. This surprisingly funny, compassionate, and daunting account of what to expect if you are the adult child coming home to care for your elderly parent is a step-by-step companion for all who find themselves in charge of a parent’s well-being, making it an essential playbook for the millions of baby boomers about to face the toughest challenge of their lives.

ALIVE Magazine: What were the thoughts that led you to share your experience caring for your elderly mother?

Stefania Shaffer: I could not escape the nagging feeling that I wished someone had sat me on a stool to share with me the realities of what goes into caring for an elderly person. There was a lot to manage even before my mother fell into decline. The constant worry of what if the next fall resulted in a head injury or a broken hip really made me aware of how fragile seniors can be. It never occurred to me I would be dealing with home repair issues typical for old houses, plus shuttling back and forth to doctor appointments, and more importantly, spending years sleuthing through 85 boxes in the garage to figure out where her assets were. I finally felt compelled to demystify what goes on behind the scenes of elder care so other Baby Boomers will know upfront what lies ahead.

AM: What were some of the most surprising realities you learned, aside from home repair?

SS: I learned that seniors are on rosters of rotating doctors that require nearly weekly appointments for some kind of check up. Whether it is for a hearing appointment, or bone density test, or blood work, or eye doctors, it is constant running, much like what I imagine moms do for kids with after school extra-curricular activities. I learned that a bed bound person requires diapering, something I hadn’t done since I was a babysitter for kids in our neighborhood thirty years earlier. I learned that without long-term health insurance, the night nurse duties fall to you. I also learned that not everyone wants to visit your elderly parent when they are sick because it is too painful—for the visitor. Some people expressed to me that they just wanted to remember my mom the way she was before her decline. But hearing is the last sense we lose before death, so patients know who has come to visit.

AM: What is the biggest problem that elders face, in your opinion?

SS: Elders who cannot see very well, or hear very well, or are unsteady in their balance are particularly vulnerable, but they can still feel fiercely independent, as my mom did. Ninety percent of elders in surveys through AARP research will say they want to remain in their own home, but if they do not see well enough to cook, or hear well enough to answer the door or telephone, it can be very isolating. It is also very taxing to maintain upkeep on a decades old home. A senior needs regular contact with someone who is laying eyes on the scene inside to determine what the senior is eating, what kind of condition they are living in, and what kind of personal care they need. A senior who no longer drives is even more reliant on a steady stream of supporters.

AM: How would one be able to determine if their parent is still safe in their own home?

SS: There are specific warning signs in a checklist from the Aging Solutions website with the top ten questions you need to know the answers to if you want your senior to be safe at home. Chief among them, does your elderly parent turn on the stove and walk away? My mom would take naps while pots sizzled and hissed melting upon burners hours later. Does your elderly parent know how to exit the house and return? Does she know how to make an emergency phone call? Is your elderly parent able to prepare meals? My mother was spoon-feeding herself from a jar of Ragu and calling that dinner. Does your parent look clean or is she wearing a threadbare robe with coffee splatters and Ragu drippings all up and down the front? These are things you will not know if you are long distance or not within those walls. There was a lot my mom was trying to hide from anyone who wanted to visit, so she would wait on the bench outside for her friends.

AM: What are the first steps to take as the adult child coming home to care for an elderly parent?

SS: Step 1: Check to see what legal documents are still not in order. The starter kit of four includes: an Advanced Health Care Directive, a Power of Attorney for Finances, a Will, and a Trust.

Step 2: Determine how safe the home is by looking for tripping hazards, sharp corners on tables in case an elderly parent falls down, and analyze the meal prep pattern and medicine routine. Is the elder able to see well enough to self-medicate or will he accidentally overdose because he can no longer read labels?

Step 3: Know where the assets are held. Many seniors hide money in the house. I wish that all of our assets had been in one place, with a tidy little bow around them. I would have avoided the scavenger hunt I endured for years gaining access to many different safe deposit boxes, and poring through two hundred empty cartons of checkbook boxes after the first one I un-lidded had fifty dollars tucked away.

AM: How did you share the role of caregiving with your siblings?

SS: I wish our family had even roles and worked out a schedule with alternating days of caregiving. I found that once my siblings got comfortable with the fact that I was there, they knew they didn’t have to be. Some families are able to really pull together in a crisis. My siblings were limited in what they could do, and fortunately, I suppose, they entrusted the job to me.

AM: What made you think you could do this job instead of putting your mother in assisted care?

SS: I had no idea what I was saying yes to. Looking back, no one says yes to Firefighting or Nursing or the ARMY without asking a few questions up front about what a typical day at work is like. I would have still said yes, but I would have known better what the job entailed. Organizing and planning has always been my strength, even from an early age when elementary teachers would allow me to help them after school.
I have also gained experience from tackling classrooms and donation centers that were dumpsites until I overhauled them by purging and reimagining a thoughtful staging space. I also knew my mother’s words were ringing in my ears from a lifetime of hearing, “If you put me in a home, that will be the surest way to get rid of me.” I wanted to fulfill her wish that she remain in her own home.

AM: Looking back, how did you manage day to day, not knowing how long the decline would last?

SS: The scariest part was wondering if she would outlast her money. I was so grateful to have the support of an incredible Hospice team and then my mom’s health took an upswing, which meant Hospice was preparing a temporary exit. This was my greatest fear because I had no idea how to care for a bedbound mother whose entire life’s goal was to die in her own home. My focus became to make sure she did not die alone. I became overanxious about following through on every idea I had to make her more comfortable. I never procrastinated because I never knew if today would be her last day. It got to the point where I was afraid to turn my back to go down the hall for fear she would be gone when I returned moments later.

AM: Your mother, in essence, became your child. What kind of mother would you be?

SS: I would have been a very nervous mother. Maybe this is how most first-time mothers are with newborns. From the beginning, my sense of urgency revolved around her falling and breaking a hip. Then my anxiety ramped up when warning signs began to appear for onset dementia; I did not know how I would be able to care for someone with Alzheimer’s. Then, trying to protect her from her horrible hallucinations that left her petrified made me cry because there was nothing I could do to help. In the end, I comforted her with reminders that she is home, she is safe, and I am here. It’s all I kept repeating to try and soothe her. I am so grateful I did it. It was my privilege. But, I don’t think I will ever again have the kind of energy required to give to someone else in that same way.

AM: What are you most grateful for after spending the last five years of your mother’s life together?

SS: I am so grateful I came home. We needed to mend a rift. I am so grateful I got to see all the qualities my father always said made him fall in love with her. I discovered her sense of humor and wish I was half as funny. Had I not come home, I never would have met the man who became my husband, whom she affectionately termed her “Son-in-Love.” Those years of our pairing were what built our bond as the Three Musketeers. I am so grateful I got my wish that she not die alone. I am so grateful I have no regrets.

AM: What would you say to a busy adult who is faced with the same prospect of moving back home?

SS: Get ready for the single hardest job you have ever known. It will be what Hospice nurses will liken to post-traumatic stress syndrome for war-torn soldiers who saw the worst of the battle from the frontlines. When you are the on-site caregiver, it is a completely different experience than being the relative who pops in from afar on occasion. Be prepared to take the brunt of family members’ emotions because death and money bring out the worst in family dynamics, even for families that are not fractured to begin with, like mine. If you are part of the “sandwich generation,” wherein you are simultaneously raising children at home while caring for an elderly parent, be prepared for marital strain, which is true for those of us who weren’t also taking care of children at home. Get organized. Preparation prevents regret. This will be your greatest privilege.
9 Realities of Caring for an Elderly Parent is available on Amazon and at www.stefaniashaffer.com

It’s October and here we are again—the month when Halloween candy temptations are lurking around most every corner. Oi vey, if you’re like me, with a giant “sweet tooth” that dates back to early childhood, then this time of year can be really challenging. To avoid giving into sugar cravings (and gaining excess weight), how about you join me in gearing up with tools to help you OUTSMART unhealthy temptations?

So, instead of simply drumming your fingers trying to decide if you should visit the Halloween candy bowl…again… you might consider adding EFT “tapping” to your “self-care” tool kit. Now, in case you’ve not heard of it—or seen it featured on Dr. Oz’s website—EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique.

The good news is, EFT is a simple tool to learn, and for many people, this technique is a powerful way to reduce unhealthy food cravings (and stress). EFT consists of gentle fingertip tapping at specific places on the body that align with a person’s acupuncture meridian points. So, the acupuncture meridian points are stimulated without the use of needles.

To give you a bit of historical background, Stanford engineer Gary Craig developed EFT to assist people in reducing or clearing emotional pain and negativity that may have fueled their fears and self-destructive behaviors. Now, after teaching clients how to use EFT on themselves for the past ten years in my private practice—I must admit—I am a big fan of this tool. For this reason, I often teach EFT to people who want to release habits such as overeating, nail biting, or cigarette smoking.

For instance, I taught EFT to Carey (a thirty-year-old woman) whose medical doctor referred her to me after Carey’s weight escalated to an unhealthy level. During our first session, Carey confessed (while staring at the floor) that she’d been eating fast food—a super-sized cheeseburger, fries, and a shake—multiple times throughout her week (for the past several years). Then, most every evening after supper, she’d watch TV while nibbling foods…that were drenched in sugar, salt, and fat.

I explained to Carey that overeating high levels of sugar, salt, and fat can create addictive cycles. For example, former U.S. Food and Drug Administrator David Kessler, M.D., explains how foods high in sugar, salt, and fat alter the brain’s chemistry by creating a release of powerful chemicals, such as dopamine and natural pain-killing substances called opioids. Surprisingly, these are the very same chemicals that are released when people are addicted to alcohol, cigarette smoking, and drugs.

After Carey gained a clear “intellectual understanding” of why her unhealthy food cravings had gotten out of control, we addressed her junk-food addiction during three EFT sessions. Between sessions, Carey used EFT on her own. As a result, Carey was pleased to see her weight begin to go down, while her self-esteem…began to go up!

In addition to weight loss, when doctors or psychologists send referrals to me, I often teach my clients how to use EFT for the following personal challenges:

• Stress

• Anxiety & insomnia

• Public speaking fear • Cigarette smoking

• Life transitions: Career change or empty nest

Finally, if the idea of adding EFT to your stress-reducing “repertoire” sounds appealing, then call or email me today. After all, you might be surprised to find that EFT’s tapping—to release pent-up emotions and OUTSMART unhealthy sugar cravings—is much more productive than reaching for the alluring Halloween candy! In fact, after experiencing the gifts of EFT, you just may be happy that…you let your fingers do the “tapping!”

Trina’s Upcoming Events:

1) Managing Emotional and Compulsive Eating: A one-evening workshop for women & men—at John Muir Women’s Health Center in Walnut Creek. Learn how to tame your “Inner Critic” & connect with your “Inner Motivator!” Thursday, Oct 16, 6:30-8:30 pm. Fee: $40 (includes self-hypnosis for weight loss: 2-CD set). Register today: (925) 941-7900 option 3.

2) Weight Loss Groups: INSPIRING groups are now forming! Receive holistic, leading-edge tools (EFT and self-hypnosis) while getting heartfelt support from Trina. Get ready to “lighten up”—from the inside out—and have some FUN in the process…after all, belly laughs DO burn calories! Email for details: info@TrinaSwerdlow.com

Trina Swerdlow, BFA, CCHT, is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, an author and artist. She has a private practice in downtown Danville. You can reach her at: (925) 285.5759, or info@TrinaSwerdlow.com.

Certified Clinical Hypnotherapy services in California can be alternative or complementary to licensed healing arts, such as psychotherapy.

Name and client details changed to protect confidentiality.

I’m a sucker for a feel good movie. I’m even a bigger sucker for a “Purpose Driven” movie. The Little Red Wagon is a docudrama based on the story of an eight year old boy who dedicates his life to helping children rendered homeless by Hurricane Charley. In this inspirational drama based on actual events, Zach Bonner learns that you can’t put a price on life’s greatest gifts.

After hurricane Charley barely misses Zach’s home but devastates many others nearby, he’s dejected by the images of the families whose lives are uprooted by the disaster. Deciding to do something about it, Zach uses his old trusty wagon to collect essential items to help them get back on their feet. When the media spotlights Zach’s benevolent endeavors, the selfless boy seizes the opportunity to launch his own charity, dubbed the Little Red Wagon Foundation.

Later, Zach encounters a widow and her son who were rendered homeless and vows to draw attention to their plight by embarking on a cross country walk. Despite his single mother’s trepidations about the journey and his teenage sister’s growing resentment over being stuck at the center of the media circus, Zach sets out on a journey that will transform not just his own life, but also the lives of everyone he encounters.

Zach Bonner is often called the kid with the heart of gold. His passion to aid the more than 1.3 million homeless children in the United States warranted him receiving the prestigious Presidential Service Award in 2006.

Through his foundation, Zach did many “walk projects” to raise money and awareness. His “My House to the White House” journey showcased the plight of the homeless and in 2010 Zach walked 2,448 miles from Tampa, Florida to Los Angeles, California. Zach is now 16 years old and still striving to abate the suffering of homeless children.

Little Red Wagon is an amazing story about an incredible young man and the family that supports him. They walk with him, nurse and feed him along the way and manage the “Zach Tracker,” his GPS device so his supporters can follow him.

I highly recommend this DVD for its social value alone. It’s a great teaching tool for kids, teens and adults. Zach could teach us all a thing or two about love and charity. In my humble opinion, it’s never too early to start showing our children the habit of helping others.

So, sit down with the kids or the grandkids, or grab someone else’s kids, and watch Little Red Wagon. Maybe the flame of passion for helping others that once burned brightly within you will be rekindled as well. Your life will be changed as you help to change someone else’s life.

As always, I welcome your comments at chastings@rockcliff.com.

Next month we will celebrate our anniversary—nine terrific years of unique content that you won’t find in any other lifestyle magazine. Nine years of providing advertisers with a magazine with an unmatched shelf life. What do I mean by “shelf life,” and why does that matter to advertisers?”

The other I picked-up a perfectly good copy of the November 2009 ALIVE (our Tanzanian Connection issue) in the lobby of a local business. They were keeping it because they really liked the cover and the content. Some advertisers in that issue, which no longer appear in current issues of ALIVE, are still benefiting from their ads in that issue—now, five years later. And this is not uncommon, as we frequently discover copies of ALIVE that are several years old, still in circulation, so to speak.

If you’ve been reading ALIVE for any time at all, you’re probably aware of the fact that we offer a number of other services, outside of the magazine itself. It’s likely that you know we also publish books—ALIVE Book Publishing (www.AliveBookPublishing.com), but do you also know ALIVE offers a number of other media-related products and services?

How about website design and maintenance, search engine marketing (SEM) and search engine optimization (SEO), and social media management? And then there’s video production and cable television advertising on Comcast. ALIVE can handle all of these as stand-alone services, or in economical, bundled marketing packages.

Did you also know that ALIVE is partnered with an exciting new website and mobile application called The Talk Pod? If you haven’t already explored the site, be sure to do so—it’s amazing… and it’s free! (www.TheTalkPod.com and find “thetalkpod” in the Apple App Store).

And, speaking of “apps,” that’s another service we offer—mobile application development. ALIVE can create and launch a customized mobile application for you, again, either as a stand-alone product, or as part of a comprehensive, bundled marketing package.

The sign on our building says it all: Magazine, Web, Video, TV, Book Publishing. Whether you own a business or are simply an individual with a message that you’d like to communicate—remember, ALIVE is much more than a magazine!

I’m trying to make sense of an email I have gotten. This guy was pretty unhappy with the media and had picked me to vent, as well as probably other people in my business. He had been hitting in The Talk Pod and on the fill in programs I’ve been doing on Talk 910 in the Bay Area. He couldn’t understand why, we the media, and me in particular continued to talk about domestic violence in the NFL. He said that these were a few isolated incidents and that they had been taken care of, and that Ray and Janay Rice were married for goodness sake. And that it, domestic violence I’m assuming he means, goes on all the time in our society.

Well I’m going to answer you publicly. The only question is whether I should be nice, or shout… You have answered your own question, you Neanderthal, without knowing it. I think I’ll be nice and try to explain again.

As we learn more and more about domestic violence in the NFL, we learn we need to do more there. Harry Edwards, the famed, sociologist and consultant to the 49ers for over twenty years, says he warned the league that domestic violence would be the issue that could tarnish the league in years to come. So here we are… years to come is now. He actually sat down with Roger Goodell about eight years ago and repeated himself. Nothing happened. And it appears, Goodell even held on to evidence in the Rice case until the very disturbing videos were made public.

Furthermore, there is a another report saying there have been 56 domestic abuse allegations against NFL players since Goodell became commissioner.

Another report, ESPN, says the arrest rate for domestic violence among NFL players is over 50% higher than the national average.

It is a confluence of power and celebrity, the nature of the game, the lingering affect of concussions and alcohol. Edwards says alcohol, not steroid rage, or any other drugs is a chief cause of abuse issues in the NFL.

When you look at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention figures that one in three women in the United States have been victim to physical abuse, it is stark and nauseating. When you put in the multiples in the NFL, it is atrocious. It is unacceptable.

What is going to change the paradigm? For the NFL, sponsors, decline in revenue. It started to happen to the NBA Clippers during the Donald Sterling affair. It should happen now. It has already started, it should continue.

This is not a one time, short attention span issue. We live in a world where we watch international atrocities with horror. We have a serious problem within our borders, within one of our favorite pastimes, and within one in three abused women’s lives in our homes.

We cannot stop talking about it. We have to start doing more about it. We need to start helping the abused and those abusers. We need to stop turning the other way. It is not acceptable for partners to physically abuse each other. We can’t stop talking about it and working on it, until it stops……period.

Only that makes sense.

Ed Baxter is a regular contributor to TheTalkPod.com.

When putting together these brief travel vignettes for ALIVE, I try to share some small interaction with people of other countries – cameos that you, my readers, might have experienced. Or, at least ones that you might be able to identify with. I hope over the years I’ve been successful with this policy. This month, however, I plan to deviate and use an unusual style to highlight a new difficulty that is developing for us – the regular international travelers. The problem we face has a plus and a minus factor. I hope you’ll be able to identify with the two extremes and maybe share the method you’ve used to circumnavigate the problem. Oh, I forgot to identify the problem, so here it is: Where in the world can we go these days to assure a safe and comfortable, yet affordable trip?

The other day while watching a news broadcast, the host flashed up a map of the world with countries represented by various color combinations. The countries where fighting exists between varying religious factions came up red. There were quite a few. Certainly the Middle East was covered in red. The Israel/Palestine area is in turmoil. The Sunnis and Shiites are battling each other, making Afghanistan, Syria, and Iraq areas to avoid. Pakistan, never much of a tourist site, can be included here.

So what about Africa? Well, the red was a bit muted and came out pink. But with the incidence of Ebola, the western part of the continent is not an option. Egypt is struggling to regain tourists, but there is still constant fighting between the Muslim Brotherhood and other factions. The so-called “horn” is being run by wild men, and a few other spots showed up pink as well.

Asia appeared with both Thailand and Myanmar a faded pink, having just undergone ruler changes and occasional uprisings. South America revealed the lightest shade of red on Venezuela, and a couple of other nations displayed rosy blotches

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. In fact I’ll bet you might be able to add some countries to the list that I’ve omitted. But, I did say in my introduction that there is a plus and a minus. Let’s focus for a minute on the plus.

Air travel to any place in the world has become easier. Sure, the inspections at the airport generate frustration, and the lines go on forever. We older people can keep our shoes and jackets on which helps a bit. Both passengers and inspectors have years of experience now, so this passage seems almost routine. Flights in general are more comfortable these days as well. In most cases you can travel directly to your destination, and often the flight time is shorter as the planes are a bit faster.

So where does all of this confusion and uncertainty leave us? Well for one thing, if you are traveling abroad pick a country or an area that is currently stable. Or the converse – avoid areas that are at war, in revolt, or going through some other turmoil. Next, hunt for areas where history, art, or scenery will give you pleasure. The topics transcend time, and difficulties may fade into the background. Many works of art have given locals and tourists pleasure for centuries. The sights enrich your life and may give you stories to share.

Me? I’ve made a selection for my next offshore excursion. It will remain a secret until next month when it will become a story in ALIVE for you to read, and hopefully enjoy.

To most people Western music conjures up thoughts of cowboys, Indians, the Wild West, wagon trains, pioneers, settlers, westward expansion, exploration, and the Continental Railroad. Musicologists consider Western music as a form of music indigenous to the United States. However, there is a caveat; much of Western music has origins influenced by the folk music of the British Isles, including England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland.

Along with Western music, Appalachian music, often called hillbilly music, has similar origins in folk music. Much of both Western and Appalachian music was composed by people living and working in these regions of the country. Although the vast majority of Western music was composed by Westerners, serious internationally known composers also penned Western music. Aaron Copland (1900-1990), without a doubt, is the most well-known. He wrote Billy the Kid in 1938, Rodeo in 1942 and Appalachian Spring in 1944. These very famous and often played pieces are still popular today.

The Grand Canyon Suite, by Ferde Grofe (1892-1972), depicting the great geological formation in Arizona, is also a very well-known piece of Western music.

Cowboys and Indians, lawmen and outlaws, the forty-niners, and the grandeur of the West itself have all inspired the writing of Western music. Of course there are many other aspects of the West that are set to music, but these are paramount.

Listening to Western music was, of course, limited to live performances of instrumentalists and singers in the 1800’s and early 1900’s. When the phonograph and radio came into being a whole new world of listening to this genre of music became a reality. New audiences were immediately drawn to the music of the West as it became the recipient of a new popularity.

With the advent of sound in films on the silver screen, the era of the singing cowboy came upon the American scene. They remained an important part of Western films, especially during its “hey-day” in the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. Singing cowboys portrayed in these films became authentic American heroes to the movie going public. These Western heroes were presented as being squeaky clean; good; fair-minded; never cussed; never hit a man when he was down; clean-shaven; didn’t drink or smoke; wore clean clothes and a white hat and didn’t kiss the girls. Interesting contrast to today’s movie portrayals!

Two giants of the singing cowboy genre in this era were Gene Autry and Roy Rogers. Autry was born in Tioga, Texas in 1907. Autry was known as the “Singing Cowboy.” He wrote and recorded many western songs. His interest in music was encouraged by his mother who taught him hymns and folk songs. One of his early jobs was working for the railroad for $35 a month. Later Autry became a telegraph operator and it was here that he was discovered. He worked at night and when he was not busy he played the guitar and sang. He was heard by a customer and was told that he would probably have a future in radio. That customer was humorist and actor, Will Rogers. Autry’s film, radio, and television career followed. He was an enormous success and a great influence, writing, singing and playing Western music. Autry died in 1998 when he was 91.

Roy Rogers, known as “The King of the Cowboys,” was born in 1911. His early music career started with an appearance on a radio show singing, playing guitar and yodeling. In 1931, when he was 20 years old, he joined “The Rocky Mountaineers”, a local country group.

In 1932 Rogers and two others left the Mountaineers and formed a trio. A year later, in 1933, they put a new group together, named the “Pioneer Trio.” Later, they formed “The Sons of the Pioneers” who became famous on radio and through recordings. Tumbling Tumbleweeds and Cool Water, early songs they recorded, were smash hits. Rogers’ film career began in 1935. He appeared in over 100 films and numerous radio and television episodes of “The Roy Rogers Show.” His famous horse, Trigger, billed “The Smartest Horse in the Movies” and German Sheppard dog, Bullet, were mainstays in his shows. Rogers’ television shows and Western musical films were popular with the young and old alike. Happy Trails, written by his wife, Dale Evans, became the theme song for his show. He enjoyed a long, very successful career and marriage. He died in 1998, he was 86 years old.

Espousing patriotism, heroism, and clean moral living, Rogers gained an enormous following of young fans. With his endorsement of a multitude of products—from children’s toys to cereal brands—Rogers, with Evans and Trigger, evolved into pop cultural icons. Receiving many awards during his career, Rogers was twice elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame; first as a member of the Sons of the Pioneers in 1980, and again as a soloist in 1988. To this day, he remains the only person elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame twice.

Country music today is one of the most popular forms of music in America. It takes its roots from southeastern American folk music, Western music, and the Blues. It encompasses Western music, which evolved parallel to hillbilly music from similar roots in the mid-20th century. The term “country music” is used to describe many styles and sub genres.

Please submit your questions and comments to banddirector01@comcast.net. Visit our website at www.danvilleband.org for up-to-date information about the Danville Community Band.

Today we take another trip. Not quite as far as we have gone in the past (LA or Oregon), so therefore, more accessible to the day-tripper!

First a couple of nods to the facets that led myself, with family in tow, to the Santa Cruz Ale Works. First: My son’s love of trains (he gets it from his Pop). My son turned two in early September, which required a trip to the full size train Mecca that is Roaring Camp. If you haven’t gone, you should. It’s stepping back in time to a more sensory visceral era.
Second: My wife’s, as well as my, desire to never feed our children a hot dog.
And Third: The app “Food Tripping”. This app is for the people on the go that abhor the thought of stopping at Carl’s Junior, Burger King, or Taco Bell to refuel. The app points out the gems behind these neon behemoths. The year round farmers markets, the vegetarian restaurants, the artisan beer/coffee places.

Food Tripping brought us to the doors of Ale Works. Otherwise it is safe to say that we would have never known it existed.

Santa Cruz Ale Works rests as the last door on a line of industrial, non-conformist office buildings. If not for the app and the well-placed a-frames leading up to the property, we would have assumed we were very lost. Turns out that we were exactly where we wanted to be.

We struck at the vegetarian options on Food Tripping. The front (restaurant portion) of the brewery was small and make shift. Chandeliers made from sawed off kegs. Cement floor and picnic tables inside. A tall and perfectly accented 7-10 person L-shape bar, and a large screen television bringing me up to date on everything that had been happening week one in the NFL.

We were enthusiastically welcomed with the other 6 patrons there, by barkeep Adam. This was our first taste of just how Santa Cruz this place is. Laid back, positive energy and again…extremely welcoming. I had the general sense that personal interaction is a natural talent of Adam and he is right where he should be to add to the success of this nonchalant place.

Shortly after we placed our order of a Veggie Sando, Mediterranean wrap and a mess of homemade pickles, we were served and further greeted by GM/Head Chef Jeff. More “Santa Cruz” ensued. He was brief but positive with our interaction until we had a chance to form an opinion on quality, then he returned (not too quick, certainly not too long) to see how we were enjoying our meal. Through a full mouth of fresh vegetables and feta cheese I muttered “AWESOME”. I have said this before, but bears repeating. You can taste homemade, and everything here is homemade. Smoked meats, deviled eggs (daily), fresh baked bread, sauces, krout and the pickles…everything is made in house by Jeff!

Just before we left, but not before an introduction to my plan to include them in Alive Magazine, Marc, the owner made an appearance….on a Sunday! That says a lot!

His story is awesome. Realizing that his degree in communications would be a tough match for his passion to home-brew, he went over the pond to Northern England and the University of Sunderland to achieve a degree in Brewing Technology. Just in case you didn’t know, Europeans know their beer, and now, thanks to them, Marc knows his beer better. He always knew what to do, now he knows the tech.

So this is why Ale Works makes my list. Awesome and fresh food made from scratch on site, great veggie options in addition to regular deli-fare, and above all else…Customer service, and I didn’t even try the beer. A clean and safe place to be with a flip-flop mentality.

I wish this team nothing but continued success!

150 Dubois St. Santa Cruz California, 95060
831.425.1182

Fall 2014 brings new trends to add to your wardrobe. First, start with the freshest colors: emerald green, rich amethyst, ruby red and the hues shown on the Pantone color chart.

 

 

 

Knits: Cashmeres and wool-blend sweaters–will keep you cozy on cold winter nights.

 

 

 

Silky track pants , the latest look in trousers, are both chic and comfy…what’s not to love about that?

A shearling jacket is perfect for a Lake Tahoe weekend getaway.

Menswear-inspired slippers are smokin’ hot. That’s why we love “smoking slippers”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are many more trends to explore…pastels, wrap coats, plaid and small, structured handbags. Choose the items that work best for your personal style and your lifestyle, and …

Be well. Dress well.

For style tips and trends, subscribe to Carolyn’s blog at C2style.com/blog or follow her on Facebook (C2 style) and Twitter (shopwithC2style).