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Near the center of the African continent sits a vast grassy plain – stretching miles in all directions. The southern part of this plain is situated in Tanzania and is known as the Serengeti Plain. The northern portion is in Kenya and is known as the Masai Mara. This huge area is home to an incredibly proud native population called the Masai. The area derives its name from the Masai language and is called the Masai Mara.

This plain abounds in native African wildlife. Animals seen only in zoos in other parts of the world abound here in their natural habitat. Lions, elephants, zebras, wildebeest – and the list go on and on. Here they roam free, unfettered by wire fences and glass cages. Here the roles – which in other places we consider the norm – are reversed. Here the human observers are housed in a cage – mostly called a truck – and the animals are free to roam, to watch the observers, to wander free and come and go as they please.
We drove in our open-bed truck, watching and logging each sighting. Our driver, in constant contact with other drivers, showed a grin. He turned and told us he had a treat for us. A special event – another driver had radioed in, and we were on our way.

The drive was a short twenty minutes away, about ten to fifteen kilometers I would judge, over grassy plains, away from any form of road. Another similar truck awaited us, and we soon learned why the excitement.

There, lying in the shade of a single acacia tree was a new cheetah family. Mother lay stretched out on

the grassy knoll and gathered about her were four recently-born cheetah cubs. Mom watched us arrive but didn’t seem overly concerned as we did stay a bit away – perhaps fifteen to twenty meters. The four little cubs rolling on the grass resembled baby house kittens. They clawed and pawed one another, played some new game of “bash your brothers and sisters,” stopping occasionally for refreshments furnished by a proud mommy. She watched them play, and I swear she looked as if she had a gratified look on her face.

We stayed on for a half-hour, caught up in the magic of nature. All the truck passengers had huge smiles on their faces. I couldn’t help but appreciating this rare opportunity afforded us. As we smiled and watched, we became aware of a light humming in the background. Yes – we could actually hear this little melee purr as they moved forward into life’s cycle.

I would have loved to get out and hold one of these little guys, but believe me that would have been suicide. We were all proud parents watching our children grow and play. We were all protective of them up to a point. I felt a strong kinship to this handsome beast and her offspring. We both loved our children very much and wanted only the best for them. After all, “kids is kids.”

Every July 4th our great nation celebrates the founding of our country. These celebrations would not be complete without playing and singing patriotic songs. The month of July, 239 years ago, was a landmark time in our nation’s history. Our founding fathers had the foresight to establish the colonies into a central republic called the United States of America. Music played an important part in the beginning of this great nation.

History
Many patriotic songs owe their existence to national or international conflicts. If one examines the words of these songs they illustrate, in music and words, a history of the Republic. Patriotic music first appeared during the Revolutionary War. Then the War of 1812, American Civil War, Spanish American War and the two World Wars. All of these wars contributed to a musical history of the American Republic. Some patriotic music was semi-religious in character due to the Puritan ethic of the early settlers. This form of music flourished in the 19th Century during and after the Civil War. After this war, music focused on rebuilding America to produce a unified front.

The Music
The Star Spangled Banner, our National Anthem, is the most famous patriotic song in America. Most people think of Francis Scott Key (1779-1843) as the writer of the anthem. Key only wrote the poem – not the music. The tune was an old English song written by John Stafford Smith (1750-1836) an English organist and composer. It was officially adopted as our National Anthem in 1931.

Stars and Stripes Forever, America’s National March, is also one of the most famous patriotic pieces ever written. The revered American composer – the incomparable John Philip Sousa (1854-1932), known as the “March King,” composed Stars and Stripes Forever in 1896. The melody came to him on a sea voyage returning from Europe. “When we reached the shore, I set down the measures that my ‘brain-band’ had been playing for me, and not a note of it has ever changed,” Sousa wrote.

“Even more nationalistic are the marches of Sousa known the world over; nothing better characterizes the youthful spirit, optimism and patriotic fervor of the United States of the day,” wrote McKinney and Anderson in their book Discovering Music.

Sousa also composed: Washington Post, El Captain, Semper Fidelis, The Thunderer, Hands Across the Sea and The Liberty Bell, among many other great songs and marches.

America the Beautiful, with music by Samuel Augustus Ward (1848-1903) and the poem by Katharine Lee Bates (1859-1929) is one of our country’s favorite songs. The words for America or My Country Tis of Thee were written by Samuel F. Smith and added to an old German tune. This music was adopted by the English for their anthem God Save the Queen.

The great song, God Bless America, America’s unofficial national anthem, was written by Irving Berlin (1888-1989) and popularized by songstress, Kate Smith in the late 1930s. This song has become a traditional favorite played and sung at the seventh-inning-stretch in major league baseball games throughout America.

George M. Cohan (1878-1942) popularized patriotic songs with You’re a Grand Old Flag, Yankee Doddle Dandy and the famous World War I song, Over There.

Other memorable patriotic songs include: When Johnny Comes Marching Home, This is My Country and God Bless the USA.

The Battle Hymn of the Republic was the rallying anthem of Union soldiers. The source of the title, for John Steinbeck’s book, Grapes of Wrath was found in the first verse of the poem Battle Hymn of the Republic by Julia Ward Howe in 1862.

Throughout our country’s existence change has been a hallmark of our culture but the sentiments, pride and hope found in this genre of music remain a steady constant through the ages.

The power of this great music in our country’s heritage is alive and well and will live forever in the hearts and minds of America’s citizens past, present and future. What better way to celebrate our nation’s birth than to sing and play our great national songs.

Please submit your questions and comments to banddirector01@comcast.net
Visit our website at www.danvilleband.org for up-to-date information about the Danville Community Band.

If the sun is beating down on your roof every day and you haven’t gone solar, now is the time to do so. Deployment of solar energy systems in the East Bay exploded over the past decade. We pay some of the highest rates in the country for electricity; we get a lot of sunshine; costs have dropped; and new ownership and financing models allow more people to choose solar. Going solar is a significant decision, similar in scope to buying a car. You should understand the basics of solar energy, your options to go solar, and what questions to ask solar professionals. You are more likely to be satisfied if you are an informed consumer.

How Solar Works:Photovoltaic (“PV”) systems do their thing through two main components: Panels (or modules) convert sunlight to electricity; and Inverter(s) that convert direct current (DC) from the solar panels to alternating current (AC) for use in your home (and to the PG&E grid).

Generating Electricity: The amount of electricity (measured in kilowatt-hours, or kWh) produced by any solar system depends on two factors: The power rating of the system (measured in kilowatts, or kW); and the amount of sunlight that the system receives. Calculating the amount of sunlight a solar system receives depends on several factors: The orientation of the planned system (the roof angle/pitch, and compass direction impact how much sunlight hits the panels over the course of a year) and shading from nearby objects (such as chimneys, and trees). In the Bay Area, a South facing roof with no shade is ideal as the sun is generally south of us for the entire year and high-noon is south, so such a roof will get sun all day, all year.

Your Ownership Options: Today, ownership options for solar are similar to those for cars. It’s important to understand the differences and choose the one that’s right for you. Purchase a system with cash or a loan and own both the system and all the power it produces for its lifetime (30 yrs or more). You also are the beneficiary the 30% Federal Tax Credit (which expires at the end of 2016). Lease a system and own the power it produces over a set period (typically 20 years) in exchange for monthly payments. The tax credit goes to the leasing company. A “power purchase agreement” (PPA) is very similar to a lease in that you buy the power from a system owned by a solar company at an agreed-upon rate over a set period.

Moving Forward: When evaluating your options to go solar, you should always do your homework. Talk to friends and neighbors who have chosen solar, use common sense, and be active and engaged in dealing with solar companies. Below are some suggestions on how to become an informed consumer.

KNOW YOUR SITUATION: Know your electricity usage. You should understand how much electricity your home uses. Your PG&E bill will show your electricity usage in kilowatt-hours (kWh) and the amount you pay for that electricity. Are you planning any changes that will affect your electricity use (such as buying an electric vehicle, planning an addition to your home, improving your home’s energy efficiency, or kids leaving the nest)? Discuss your usage with the solar companies you interview to get a system sized for your anticipated needs. Know your roof. Is your roof appropriate for solar? Look at its physical features and discuss with a solar professional. A solar professional can calculate the amount of sunlight expected to reach a planned system over the course of a year. Does it receive a good amount of sunlight or is it mostly shaded? What about the age of the roof? If you plan on replacing it soon, you may want to replace it prior to a rooftop solar installation. Know your finances. Like any major decision for your home, it’s wise to understand your finances when shopping for solar systems. Although sunlight is free, buying or leasing solar systems, or paying for electricity under a PPA, are not.

DO YOUR HOMEWORK: Get the best deal (which may not be the lowest price). As with any major purchase, make sure to get multiple bids for your solar system. You will find the market quite competitive, with multiple solar companies competing for your business. Research your solar company. Before entering an agreement with a solar company, find out how long they have been installing solar (as long as their warranty?); ask for references of solar installations in your area and call them; ask for proof of licensure, and check with the CSLB to ensure the firm is in good standing; ask if they are a member of the Solar Energy Industries Association (SEIA), the national trade association for solar that requires all its members to abide by a Code of Ethics. You can also check with the Better Business Bureau, Yelp!, Diamond Certified, and other consumer guides.

KNOW WHAT YOU ARE BUYING: You would never purchase or lease a car without knowing what type of car it is and maybe how it performs, the manufacturer, the warranty, etc. Same with solar—some leases and PPAs do not even specify a type/brand of panel. What good is a guarantee if the company is not around in 20 years to honor their warranty? Twenty five years is a long time! Choose modules from name brands that you recognize, not a start-up, solar-only company that is here today and gone tomorrow. Remember the Delorean? It came with a 100 year warranty. You don’t want to be left with a problem on your roof down the road. Questions to ask before entering an agreement: How many and what brand of solar panels? What is the system size? How much electricity will the system generate each year? How much money can I expect to save with this system? Based on what assumptions? How much do I pay up front, and how much over time, for how long? What will the system look like once installed? Will I receive a system design for my review and approval before installation? Will I be required to make any changes to my home (e.g., roofing upgrades)? What do the warranties cover and what are their durations? For leases and PPAs: What is the length of the lease or PPA? Will my payments increase over time? By how much? What happens if I wish to end the lease or PPA early? Can I purchase the system, either during the agreement or once it ends? What are my options when I sell my home? Who is responsible for repairs and maintenance on the system?

Bottom line: Solar is a great investment—it is very reliable, predictable and is much more affordable than power from the utility, but make sure you know what you are buying, from whom, and how you are going to finance it. Good luck—enjoy the free sunshine!

Bob Winn
President
Sky Power Solar – San Ramon
www.SkyPowerSolar.com
(925) 202-2783

They’re here, and they’re fabulous. I’m referring to vine-ripened tomatoes, of course. No tough skin. No mealy interior. And a flavor that compares to nothing else on earth.

Depending upon which tomato variety you select, they can be as sugary-sweet or as pleasantly acidic as you prefer. Even the brilliant green stems smell as though they were just plucked from the garden…which isn’t far from fact, when you shop at the farmers’ market.

It’s difficult for me to imagine anything more brilliant than a huge platter of sliced vine-ripened tomatoes of varying shapes, sizes, and colors. This salad/side dish is pretty much perfect as is, though a drizzle of California olive oil and a few scattered basil leaves only make a good thing better. Consider it research: You’ll never know your favorite kind of tomato until you try them all.

Though the process is a bit like picking your favorite child, I am firmly ensconced in the Early Girl camp. Every Saturday I still greedily lug home bags filled with all types of tomatoes, but Early Girls remain my private passion.

In honor of their pitifully short season, I will now share my tried-and-true summertime recipe that is equally good at any time of the day or night:

1. Slather good-quality mayo liberally over a crusty slice of artisan bread.
2. Cover with thick slices of Early Girl tomatoes.
3. Season to taste with salt and freshly ground black pepper.
4. Eat.
5. Repeat as necessary.

If I’m feeling fancy I may add a few arugula leaves to the mix. But that’s it. No other improvisation is tolerable.

But some occasions call for a little more effort. Like when I’m having company. Maybe I’m overly sensitive, but it seems some of my guests expect a little more out of a dinner invitation than an open-face Early Girl sandwich eaten over my kitchen sink, with the tomato juice dripping down their arms. Go figure.

When pressed to perform, I remember that summer means more than tomatoes. A lot more. The farmers’ market is now laden with plump, shiny eggplant; tender young zucchini; crisp sweet bell peppers; and this year’s new crop of garlic. When it’s summer, it’s time to make ratatouille. A refreshing change from the crisp, barely-cooked veggies Californians enjoy most of the year.

Classic French ratatouille is not something most of us are willing to tackle on a busy weeknight. Although this version requires some chopping, keep in mind that it’s a stew–so those dozens of vegetable cubes need not be perfect. (Just aim for similar size so they will cook evenly.) The vegetables are first sautéed, then bubble away together until soft and their natural juices blend with a prodigious amount of full-flavored olive oil. What’s not to like?

Ratatouille can be served warm or cold—making it a host-friendly choice for entertaining. (I nearly always serve it at cool room temperature.) The flavor improves over time, so it’s actually beneficial to get make it a day or two in advance.

If you’re lucky enough to have leftovers, try serving ratatouille with eggs in the morning.Or topped with crumbled fresh California goat cheese at lunchtime.Maybe over pasta for dinner.Or alongside an Early Girl sandwich.

California Ratatouille
1 medium eggplant (about 1 1/4 pounds), peel left on, cut into 3/4-inch dice
Coarse (kosher) salt
California olive oil
2 medium onions, coarsely chopped
4 large garlic cloves, finely chopped or crushed through a press
1/8 to 1/4 teaspoon crushed hot red pepper flakes, to taste
2 sweet bell peppers, preferably 1 red and 1 yellow, cut into 3/4-inch squares
3 medium zucchini, cut into 3/4-inch dice
About 1 1/4 pounds vine-ripened tomatoes (any variety), cut into 3/4-inch dice
3 tablespoons thinly sliced or chopped fresh basil or flat-leaf parsley
1 teaspoon balsamic or red wine vinegar, or more to taste

1. Place the eggplant cubes in a large colander. Sprinkle with about 2 teaspoons of salt and toss to coat. Place the colander in the sink and let stand for at least 20 minutes to drain. Use your hands to squeeze the eggplant dry. (It’s okay if some salt still clings to the eggplant.)

2. In an enameled cast-iron Dutch oven or other large, heavy-bottomed pot, warm 3 tablespoons of the oil over medium heat until hot. Working in batches if needed, add the eggplant and cook, stirring often to prevent sticking, until nicely browned all over. Using a slotted spoon, transfer to a large plate and set aside.

3. Add another 2 tablespoons of oil to the pot over medium heat. Stir in the onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened but not browned, 7 to 10 minutes. Stir in 1/2 teaspoon of salt, the garlic, and hot pepper flakes and cook just until the garlic is fragrant, 30 seconds to 1 minute. Stir in the peppers and cook until just softened, 3 to 5 minutes. Add the zucchini and cook, stirring once or twice, until lightly browned, 3 to 5 minutes; then stir in the tomatoes and cook, stirring occasionally, for about 10 minutes. Add the reserved eggplant along with any juices that have accumulated on the plate and cook, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are very tender, 10 to 15 minutes longer.

4. Turn off the heat and stir in the basil and the 1 teaspoon vinegar. Taste, adding more salt or vinegar if needed. Serve warm, at room temperature, or chilled. Just before serving, drizzle another 1 or 2 teaspoons of oil over the top. Serves 6 to 8.

The Danville Certified Farmers’ Market, located at Railroad and Prospect, is open every Saturday, rain or shine, from 9 a.m. until 1 p.m. For specific crop information call the Pacific Coast Farmers’ Market Association at s1-800-949-FARM, or visit their web site at www.pcfma.com. This market is made possible through the generous support of the Town of Danville. Please show your appreciation by patronizing the many fine shops and restaurants located in downtown Danville. Buy fresh. Buy local. Live well!

What if you knew that you couldn’t fail? What if, no matter what you tried, you would eventually succeed? And, what if you also knew that, with enough practice, you could master just about anything—any skill, sport or ability —that you desired to master? Now, think back for a moment; if you had lived your entire life up until today with this sort of attitude, in what ways do you think your life might be different?

I think a lot about human potential. I believe it is the greatest natural resource in the known universe; the great bastion of hope for the future of mankind… that sadly, lies largely undiscovered, suppressed or denied in most of us. Unfortunately, much of our culture today, including most of formal education, teach and reinforce negative or incorrect principles about success and failure.

Life is to be lived and you have so much to give the world if you will only allow yourself to believe it. Stop holding yourself back and forget about the well intended (or otherwise) opinions of others!

The two quotes below are two of my favorites. Feel free to post them anywhere to remind you that you can if you think you can!

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On! has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
― Calvin Coolidge

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
― Theodore Roosevelt

Well, they did it! The Oakland Warriors won the NBA title after 40 mostly desolate seasons. I know! I know! They are called Golden State, but they have played in my hometown for 40 plus sons without the city being named. I am grateful that the parade is being set in Oakland. They will be in SF soon enough so let’s enjoy it while we can. With the championship, it is likely they will receive great support when they move, but the support they got from the sunny side of the bay was phenomenal, good times or bad.

1. Who was the coach of the Warriors when they won the title in 1975?

2. The Oakland A’s won World Series titles in 1972, 1973 and 1974. Who was their manager for the first two?

3. Who was their manager in 1974?

4. To prove that Oakland was a city of champions, the Raiders won the Super Bowl in the 1976 season. Who was their coach?

5. Because of an ice show (remember them?),the Warriors played a playoff game in 1975 in San Francisco. What was the arena they used?

6. The 1975 Warriors featured a rookie forward, who later changed his first name to Jamal and starred for the (gasp!) Lakers. By what name did we know him?

Wow Pow Sockem’ Rockem! I thought I was looking for a needle in a haystack when I starting looking for a movie to review this time. I wanted something fun and entertaining for summer but I also wanted something patriotic in celebration of Independence Day. Something, well not Independence Day, which I love but had already reviewed.

I am so sorry to admit that I had never met my new favorite superhero, Captain America. What a man—95 years old and doesn’t look a day over 30! Somehow you don’t feel like a cougar if they really are 95.

I enjoyed this movie immensely. The ultimate good vs evil flick with the suspense of sorting out who the good guys are was amazingly entertaining.

Being a Marvel Comic novice, I decided I was way overdue for a short history lesson on superheroes. Our boy, Steve Rogers was born to Irish Catholic immigrants on July 4, 1920. Raised on duty, honor and humility, when World War II was heating up and with both parents dead, undersized Steve tries to enlist in the military. He was rejected as 4F but was recruited by Operation Re-Birth, a top-secret performance enhancing experiment. With the help of Super Soldier Serum, Captain America is still alive today and fighting the fight for right.

Captain America Winter Soldier is the second of the current generation of Capt films and was released in 2014. The First Avenger was released in 2011 and Captain America Civil War will be released next year (I’ll be in line). There were also earlier versions released in 1944, 1979 and 1990. I still can’t believe I missed all of these.

The special effects on this film were absolutely amazing. Car chases, bombs going off, guys jumping off aircraft in flight or crashing through windows all made for some tense moments, but all great fun.

The cast is stellar. Chris Evans plays Steve Rogers, Captain America. His female counterpart is Scarlett Johansson. Samuel L. Jackson is pretty awesome as Nick Fury and Robert Redford (now he does look 95 but in a good way) plays Alexander Pierce. Other notables in this $260 Million blockbuster are Anthony Mackie and Sabastian Stan.

Disney has put together a complicated political thriller in comic book form and I am duly impressed. While all the action is happening you don’t think much beyond wanting the good guys to win. The problem is, you don’t really know the good guys from the bad guys until the end. For me, it doesn’t get any better than spending a couple of hours watching our American values defended and the Marvel-ous Captain America does that so well.

So, try to pull yourself away from all the politics going on right now with the campaigning heating up. Instead, why don’t you sit your kids or their kids down in front of that Big Screen TV with a Big Bowl of Popcorn and spend some time bonding over some values that are worth pondering. True American Ideals courtesy of Captain America! Let me know if you plan to join me in line in 2016 by emailing me at chastings@rockcliff.com.

From time-to-time I find myself going to, or through, Pittsburg. Either on the way to float the day away on the Delta, take in some incredible golf and even on occasion, to visit my sister-in-law. I am often stricken with the thought on the way home, “damn I’m hungry.”

Finally, I have found a spot that not only welcomes, but offers a culinary experience—a spotless and warm, lamp-lit, wooden environment, with a price point that is far lower than the product.

This is one of those rare instances where I had a pre-existing relationship with the owner, and he knew I was there to (hopefully) write about his restaurant. He is Chef Jourdan of Chef J’s Pizza Shack, and I am as bowled over by his food as I am by his story.

Jourdan deSanctis is a baker by trade. He went as far as planting a small vineyard in his front yard to harvest the yeast from the grapes in which to create a “starter” that can not be duplicated or matched. After some time renting space in various kitchens, he and his long time friend from culinary school, Chef Dennis O’Shia, knew they needed to bring this bread to the next level. Oddly enough it was the Irish sounding heritage that suggested pizza to the Italian, and the idea of Chef J’s was born.

In February of this year a corner spot on Railroad Avenue in Pittsburg opened up, and Jourdan leapt at the opportunity. While the restaurant is still an infant, they have made great strides in making their visions a reality. There is a large menu painted on the wall like a chalkboard, advertising the six different pies they have by the slice, ½, ¾ , or (largest in town) 20” pie! Currently there is a “secret” menu that houses available veggie options and other goodies (and by “secret,” I mean painted on a different wall above the expo kitchen). But these are just the modest beginnings.

Both chefs are already expanding the menu to include Farmers Salads, Grillin’ It Food, Munchies (apps) and expanded pizza choices. As long as they don’t mess with the dessert options that are already there, I will be fine.

Not only are the food options growing, but also their space. Soon they will take over a small store-front in the same shopping center to have as a full functioning kitchen for their ridiculous bread and catering. Oh yeah, they cater too! Everything from small backyard get togethers to whole roasted pigs! The day I was there, they were prepping for the Chamber of Commerce Mixer and asked if I would mind trying the six-cheese mac-n-cheese with toasted panko…MIND? A little of me feels like I cheated on my wife, it was that good!

The pizza is East Coast style, and that suits me well, but their dough is so out-of-this-world light and airy that the toppings seem to be cooked on top of a cloud.

As always, I look for service. I was treated like family despite my pre-existing relationship, because so was everybody else. Veronica Flores was working the counter and the floor, and I swear to you, this girl was smiling when she cleaned the computer screen. I am sorry that I didn’t get a chance to meet the rest of their/my family!

The Chefs are joined in this venture by Jon Fink, ex Head Chef of Piattis and Hilarie Hsu who heads up the catering and sales, and when I asked Jourdan what the big picture plans were, I nearly jumped out of my seat when he said they were tying to expand to our side of the hill. This is a power team that can make that happen, but until then, I’ll be stopping there every time I’m in Pittsburg!

2227 Railroad Ave., Pittsburg, Ca. 94565
(925) 431-0530

Dear HSSS,
My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. It’s probably for the best because we’re both going away to college, but I’m really having trouble getting over it, and I cry all the time. Sometimes I wonder if I’m ever going to feel happy again. Help!
Heartbroken in Danville

He Said: Of course you’ll feel happy again! Just remember you broke up for a reason, and I’m sure it wasn’t just because you’re going off to different colleges. Everyone’s been in your shoes and it’s not until you feel this punched-in-the-gut feeling that you realize what love and emotions are truly all about. It’s okay to cry your heart out, but just make sure you get it all out over summer and start fresh at your new school next fall. You’ll meet more boys than you can imagine in college, and I’m sure this time next year you’ll barely remember your ex.

She Said: If this is your first break-up, then welcome to the human race. You know you’re really alive when this happens the first time, and let me assure you, what you’re feeling is universal. It feels like you’re going to die, doesn’t it? But you won’t. You’re right that this was probably inevitable, given where you are in life, but I’m sure you were looking forward to your last summer together. My advice is to give yourself appropriate grieving time, then call your friends, make plans, distract yourself, meet new people, do whatever it is you have to do to move forward. You will be happy again, but it takes time.

Dear HSSS,
My son did not get in to any colleges he applied to, so he’s decided to take a gap year and gain some work experience rather than go to the local JC. It’s so frustrating when well-meaning people ask him where he’s going to school in the fall. We need a snappy come-back.
Catherine, Walnut Creek

She Said: The best way to ask this question, for the well-meaning folks who are interested in what’s next, would be for them to ask your son what his plans are now that he’s graduated from high school. But people are programmed to think everyone’s going to college right off the bat, so forgive them. Rather than snappy, I’d try the enlightened route. “John” has decided to enroll in the school of life for a year and defer his education to next year when he’ll have a little more experience under his belt and money in his pocket. We’ll keep you posted.

He Said: There’s nothing wrong with giving a straight answer to that question. You or your son shouldn’t be embarrassed that he’s not going off to college as long as he has some kind of plan. What are his plans after his “gap year?” Once he knows this, he can answer anyone who asks with confidence. However, last I checked, it’s not any easier to get into a university after taking a year off school. If he really does plan on going to college, make sure you stay on him and remind him of his long term goals. Life doesn’t get any easier going into the workforce straight out of high school.

Robin Fahr is a public relations specialist and co-host with Shawn Shizzo on Conversations and He Said/She Said seen daily on Tri-Valley TV, Channel 30 and online at trivalleytv.org. You can also catch He Said/She Said on The Talk Pod. Send your questions to www.AskHeSaidSheSaid.com.