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A Little Something

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Like many in our community, I could use “a little something” when it comes to extra income. My full- time job as a commercial real estate agent has been decimated by this little pandemic. It might also surprise the readers to learn, I get paid very little for coming up with these brilliantly crafted monthly humor lifestyle nuggets for ALIVE. In lieu of a salary or reasonable hourly wage, I am compensated with a certain amount of recognition, notoriety and, dare I say, celebrity status in the community. Yes, I take pride in my craft, but pride doesn’t pay the bills. That said, when Eric “Chief” Johnson tasks me to write “a little something” that might lighten the mood for our readers during an otherwise dark period, then “a little something” is what he’s going to get given that “a little something” is what I’m being paid.

The word “little” is defined as small in size, amount or degree. In this case, it will also include effort. It’s not that I don’t have a little free time on my hands, it’s just I have very little incentive given that I’m getting very little compensation. As is usually the case, when I’m a little short on ideas, I rely a little on the internet. thesaurus.com gives the following synonyms for the word “little”: insufficient, limited, meager, scant, slight, Lilliputian, bantam, brief, diminutive, dinky, infant, infinitesimal, miniature, mini, peanut, petite, short, toy, wee, babyish, elfin, embryonic, fleeting, hasty, imperceptible, inappreciable, microscopic, not big, not large, short-lived, shrimpy, skimpy, sparse, stubby, stunted, teeny, tiny, truncated and undeveloped.

Given my that my vocabulary is a little insufficient, limited, meager, scant, slight, diminutive (you get the picture), I take on this challenge to come up with “a little something” on each of these words that essentially mean the same darn thing, “little”.

Insufficient; The insufficient pay as an Alive magazine columnist, coming up with one brilliant column after another, is depressing.  

Limited; I have a limited amount of brilliant ideas, but an unlimited amount of charm.

Meager; Chief must have a meager budget for paying writers and hosting holiday parties. Meager doesn’t begin to describe the cheese and cracker spread at last year’s staff Holidaypalooza.  

Lilliputian; I wonder if other regional lifestyle magazines compensate their writers such a Lilliputian amount of money? Truthfully, I thought a Lilliputian was one of the tiny residents of Lilliput from Gulliver’s Travels. I wonder if Lilliput has a magazine looking for brilliant, albeit tall, columnists?

Bantam; Bantam weight boxers get paid less than heavyweights because they’re littler. It’s like that in the magazine business too. The New Yorker, AARP, Good Housekeeping and People are heavyweight magazines. Alive – Bantam weight. 

Brief; This is going to be a brief article because I’m not getting paid for it. FYI, I wear boxer briefs if anyone’s interested.

Diminutive; I suppose most regional magazines have a diminutive budget when it comes to compensating their columnists, however, my resume and body of work is not diminutive.  

Dinky; Over my career as a columnist, I have only made a dinky amount of money. Dinky is a funny word

Infant; Infants don’t read magazines. They’re too…..wait for it……little.

Infinitesimal; The infinitesimal amount of money in my bank account is either scary or laughable.

Miniature; I could probably buy a miniature horse if I got a miniature amount of money for my articles.

Mini; I could probably buy a Mini-Cooper if I got even a mini amount of money for my articles. Confidentially, I was always a fan of the miniskirt. Let’s bring that back to lift our spirits.

Peanut; In reality, magazine writers in general make peanuts unless you’re Dave Berry, Rick Reilly, Rona Barrett or Charles Shultz. See what I did there, Charles Shultz created the comic strip Peanuts. I crack myself up.

Petite; I have been called many things in my lifetime, but petite is not one of them. My Visa debit card could be said to have a petite balance right now.

Short; I’ll be coming up short paying next month’s mortgage unless my Door Dash deliveries start picking up a little.

Toy; I’ve never been fond of Toy Poodles unless I could breed and sell them for more than toy amounts of cash.

Wee; Me articles are filled with a wee pit of the blarney and a wee bit of shenanigans.

Babyish; I know it sounds babyish to complain about my lack of compensation, but even babies have got bills to pay. Diaper bills, formula bills, toy bills, (both little bills and bills for actual toys).

Elfin; Chief expects me to exist on an elfin compensation which would be acceptable if I were an elf or hobbit, or a troll, but I’m a big person.

Embryonic; My daughters have an embryonic knowledge of writer’s compensation rates.

Fleeting; My fleeting bank account balance could use an infusion of capital.

Hasty; I’d be a bit hasty if I started fielding another magazine’s offer right away.

Imperceptible and inappreciable; That’s exactly how appreciated I’m feeling at ALIVE.

Hasty; I won’t be hasty when I’m fielding other offers.

Not big and Not large; Too obvious. You don’t need to be a highly sought-after humor lifestyle columnist to get these little compensation references.

Microscopic; That will be my ALIVE W2 tax statement in 2020. Microscopic.

Short-lived; My career at ALIVE might be short-lived if I keep this banter up much longer.

Shrimpy; Shrimps are delicious little fish thingies, but who can afford them on my salary?

Skimpy; I wonder if the other columnist at ALIVE are paid as skimpy as I am?

Small; I don’t like or respect small-minded people, especially when it comes to issues of race, religion, sexual orientation or magazine article topics. 

Sparse; Advertising revenue must be sparse at ALIVE world headquarters.

Stubby; When I think of stubby, I think of little guys who are packing on a few pounds. I’m a lean, mean writing machine. There’s nothing stubby about me except the size of my wallet.

Stunted; Magazine writers typically have a stunted self-worth given our lack of income generation.   

Teeny and Tiny; I wish my overhead was teeny tiny, but the bills keep coming.

Truncated; I had to look this one up, but while it is assumed that my salary was truncated when we went from a hard copy magazine to an online periodical, but in reality that had no impact at all.

Undeveloped; The compensated package at ALIVE is undeveloped as is my sense of humor.

I’m obviously having a little COVID 19 fun with my boss at ALIVE. He’s a great guy for an elfin Lilliputian magazine publisher. This Coronavirus has proven to be more than a dinky inconvenience for everyone reading our diminutive periodical.  What many of us assumed would just be a tiny adjustment to our daily/weekly routine has proven to be a life-altering change for this community. The key is to not be overwhelmed with negativity. Life will get better, probably right around November 5th. Just a guess on my part. In the meantime, let’s all try to find a little something to make life more enjoyable for ourselves and those around us.

MMMM

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You would think that the title of this here piece might be about M&Ms or Marilyn Monroe, or it might mean mmmm-good! No, it is actually the opposite. What my title stands for is Mainstream Media’s Misinformation Machine. And, let me tell you, the Mainstream Media are a very disturbed lot. What they tell us and what the facts are, are two quite different animals. Why, I could have added a couple more M’s to the title, for instance, Malevolent, Misguided, or even Malicious, but that would have made the title sound ridiculous. The four Ms are just right.

What we are being fed by MMMM, whether it is on television, online, or in print, is a very carefully-sculpted load of cow manure. Take for instance COVID-19. To this date, according to ‘MMMM’ it is the number one killer of humans in the world. Not only that but, it is getting worse. In cahoots with the liberal politicians, they have managed to do their best at destroying this country’s economy and will keep at it because they hate Trump!

Here is a recent headline by ‘America First Reporting, on the web:

Schiff: 130,000 Dead Americans Because the Republicans Wouldn’t Remove Trump During Impeachment. This, coming from a leftist politician who has failed the sanity test and, who by the way, is not a medical doctor, or doctor of any kind.

Then, we have another know-it all who happens to be, unfortunately, our governor. He has changed his mind on reopening California’s economy about as often as I wash my hands (and I wash them a lot). And just so you know, his restaurant and winery stay open because he hasn’t closed down Napa Valley. Very clever of him, don’t you think?

And Ladies and Gentlemen, that is why we can’t go to church, eat inside a restaurant, enjoy a movie at a local theater, or attend a concert at the Concord Pavilion. However, you have noticed that these very same entities are more than happy to laud discontent by unruly mobs in the streets, burning and destroying property, attacking unarmed civilians, and even killing them as they try to protect what is theirs, all the while encouraged and cheered on by the likes of Chris Cuomo, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Don Lemon, Anderson Cooper, Stephen Colbert, Al Sharpton, ‘Blitzkrieg’ Wolf Blitzer, basement dweller ‘Foggy’ Joe Biden, and Pompadour Newsom, as well as  too many other loons to waste good space on. And one more bit of news about our great governor, from the web: The California Department of Corrections has just informed news outlets that Governor Gavin Newsom has allowed for the release of 18,000 prisonersto prevent the spread of COVID-19.

Now, here are some facts for you to process in light of what I stated at the beginning. These are figures that the MMMM will not publish, in order to give priority to COVID numbers:

  • So far this year, about 150,000 have died from COVID-19 in the United States, from this virus which was created by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).
  • According to the CDC, about 610,000 people die of heart disease in the United States every year–that’s one of every four deaths. Heart disease is the leading cause of death for both men and women.
  • According to the American Cancer Society, in the U.S., an estimated 606,520 people will die from cancer in 2020, a close second to heart disease.

Again, according to the CDC, here is a list of other leading causes of death in the USA:

Accidents or unintentional injuries, 169,936; Chronic lower respiratory diseases, 160,201; Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases), 146,383; Alzheimer’s disease, 121,404; Diabetes, 83,564; Influenza and Pneumonia, 55,672; Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis, 50,633; Intentional self-harm (suicide), 47,173.

Here is an interesting fact that does not get mentioned very often by MMMM: Deaths from Fentanyl, a synthetic opioid, also produced in Communist China, is shipped to Mexico and smuggled into the US by the drug cartels, as another way that Red China is actively working to weaken the USA. And most of this, flies under the radar. You have to really dig to find statistics.

For instance, from 1999 to 2018, 450,000 people died from synthetic opioids including Fentanyl. But then, in 2019, the death total jumped to 71,000, for one year. Not much is broadcast about this problem, as I have said. And it is just another way that our Communist Chinese friends help to reduce our populations. If you want to learn more, check out the CDC website. These deaths just get added to the final tally, below, without much fanfare.

Finally, from the CDC, the total number of deaths in the USA from all causes in one year is approximately 2,813,503.

I am hoping that you are starting to get the picture. According to the MMMM you would think that the leading cause of death in the United States, was COVID-19. However, according to my calculations, COVID-19 Deaths are but 4.87% of the total death toll for one year, so far. So, should the numbers double for the year, it could rise to 9.7% of the total deaths, with heart disease and cancer still in the lead by several hundred thousand.

BLM: Black Living Marxists

The very same cowardly politicians who “manage” the masses for political reasons have not had the guts to stop BLM protests that have turned into nothing more than organized arson, looting, mayhem, and thuggery. As a matter of fact, all these deluded individuals have encouraged not only the protest, but the actual destruction of whole neighborhoods, and even whole cities, like Minneapolis, to the tune of several billion dollars.

Yeah, I’m burning your business down and looting your merchandise because I don’t like the fact that you have worked so hard all your life and built something for you and your family to be proud of. And me, I’m just a lazy malcontent that likes to get stuff for free because I’ve been deprived and the system is stacked against me, just because I’m a lazy good-for-nothing who likes to lay around and do nothing, and maybe do some drugs, so others can take care of me, the way it should be! It’s my right to take all you all’s stuff!

Well, according to MMMM, the Left and the Believers, BLM will take care of the lazy thugs who fight to destroy this country. Just remember, MMMM and the Left do not mention that BLM is a Marxist organization, based on Marxist principals and run by trained Marxist leaders, in other words, Communists. Yes, these are the same “socialists” we fought in Korea, Vietnam, and opposed during the Cold War days—the Soviet Union.

A war of ideologies is going on right now in front of our eyes, but MMMM and the Left are NOT telling us about this conflict in its entirety. They are lecturing us about “Institutional Racism and White Privilege,” and how our nation is “Irredeemably Racist,” It’s all a bunch of hogwash! These un-useful idiots have all been brainwashed by followers of Saul Alinsky, the mentor of Barack Hussein Obama.

And BTW, something the MMMM will not tell you is that most of the donations going to BLM are all funneled to the DemocRat Party, to help elect the Sleeping Genius, Joe Biden.

You see, the reason MMMM does not tell us the truth is that they believe that bad news and lies sell papers and keep our country divided—especially, if they keep repeating the lies and we keep believing them.

Here’s an article from the Daily Wire: A 24-year-old mother was shot to death shortly after a dispute in Indianapolis. Jessica Whitaker believed ‘all lives mattered,’ tragically and ironically, that was her fatal flaw, according to one man who shot her from a bridge shortly after she proclaimed her beliefs. Jessica’s husband is mourning the loss and he is more than concerned because the son doesn’t fully understand what happened to his mother.

A cowardly scumbag killed an innocent woman for her beliefs. This coward should fry in an electric chair!

Again, from the Daily Wire: Jessica’s grandfather posted the following on his Facebook: “Why isn’t anybody outraged about this?” the grandfather asked. “Is it that BLM was involved or that it was white young adults that [were] the victims?” I guess black lives are more important than any other ethnicity in America. I guess we did not hear Chris Cuomo or Don Lemon eulogizing this young woman because, after all, she was white.

BLM and MMMM agree that there is systemic racism in America, and they both promote this lie. The Systemic Racism myth is perpetrated by these very same organizations, in their own words. BLM is a Marxist organization in business to ruin the capitalist system that makes our country thrive. And what BLM will not acknowledge is that many in the “Millionaire-Billionaire” category are, in fact, African Americans.

Here is a good example of White Privilege: about 160 years ago, over 700,000 mostly white men, gave their all to put an end to slavery by defeating the Confederacy. All those men proudly rode into death and history, to end a practice that should not exist in the modern world. And yet, anti-American organizations like Black Lives Matter, as well as MMMM, never mention this historical fact. Do you realize that in 160 years, no one in America has owned any slaves, and yet, by what you hear in the news, you would think that slavery is alive and well in the United States

MMMM is so scared of Black Lives Matter that they have basically given up on telling the truth about anything—the pandemic, the police, and those in need, in favor of bowing down and lauding the accomplishment of this deranged mob of terrorists. So, when will the general public (that’s us) tell these hooligans and the news media that enough is enough and start taking our country back?

Two police officers were ambushed and killed in Texas, but other than FOX, none of the other MMMM channels spent any time reporting on these unprovoked killings. Of course, cops are in disfavor now, so why waste a report about their demise? As a result of their words and actions, MMMM are complicit in whatever happens to the brave men and women who have to endure the hatred and disdain. Crime rates have gone up in New York City, Chicago, Los Angeles, Seattle, and every large enclave of poverty-stricken people—the very people who now need the Police more than ever. It’s no surprise that some police may now be reticent to help people, and it’s BLM creating the chaos in our inner cities.

All the while, the MMMM is blaming this carnage on the one person who has done more for minorities in the inner cities than any other elected official in quite some time—President Trump. According to the 4Ms, the carnage is his fault, as is the COVID Pandemic.  

Now, let’s revisit the COVID-19 situation in New York State. So far there have been about 405,000 cases, with about 26,000 deaths, while Florida has had about 310,000 cases and about 4,600 deaths. Yet, the way the MMMM portrays it, Cuomo is doing a marvelous job while Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is doing a poor job. Isn’t that a bit strange?

MMMM actually stated on numerous shows that Governor Cuomo had done such a marvelous job of lowering the curve of the COVID infection, yet they never mention the fact that Cuomo and Mayor De Blasio forced nursing homes to take in Covid infected seniors and house them alongside healthy senior residents, causing at least 6200 senior deaths, although some say it was many more.

Here is a bit of deep thinking from the mayor of NYC, De Blasio. He claims that the rise in COVID-19 numbers is due to too many people going to church. Which is why, churches may be closed but, BLM protests are not only permitted but encouraged. All the while, he has tied the hands of New York’s finest, by taking away one billion dollars from their budget. Now that the NYC PD is short on manpower, crime has skyrocketed. Just the other day, one of those peaceful protests on the Brooklyn Bridge turned ugly, when the peaceful protestors were handed baseball bats from an unmarked van and encouraged to go after the cops. Several NYC officers were left bloodied by this organized attack.

Now, here is a bit of wisdom that was publicized by the MMMM, coming out of the mouth of Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, “…people are doing all the looting because they are hungry from the Trump economy, and they need bread.”

An opinion editor at the New York Times, Bari Weiss, resigned recently because she claims she was harassed by co-workers. Bari Weiss is Jewish but that didn’t stop her leftist colleagues from calling her a Nazi, simply because she had a more “middle-of-the-road” philosophy and having run a piece by Sen. Tom Cotton, backing a military crackdown on the BLM protests.

In Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Bernell Trammell, an African American supporter of President Trump was shot to death, execution style, in front of his printing business for supporting the President. I guess some black lives matter less than others.

Just in case you thought I had lost my mind, read below some of the nonsense coming out of MMMM, on the web:

Smithsonian Museum says Objective thinking is a sign of Whiteness. I used to support the Smithsonian and even visited it in the dim past. No more!

North Carolina city approves ‘Reparations’ apologizing for role in slavery. I didn’t know that there were still slaves or slave owners in North Carolina. Who exactly are they going to give the money to?

NY State Troopers want off of NY City streets, as cops face new criminal and civil liability on the job. Who is running New York State, BLM?

Florida Police Union pulls endorsement of Orange County Sheriff who took a knee with Protestors. This Sheriff is nothing but a politician.

Minneapolis parks board to vote on repealing rule Prohibiting Women from Going Topless. This is not going to add to the chaos in Minneapolis; NO siree Bob!

Is it any wonder that the National Association of Police Organizations has endorsed Donald Trump for President?

The more a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak out.— George Orwell

Renee Morgan: An Effective Public Servant

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My writing career has introduced me to a lot of people, and every once in a while, you come across someone who leaves a lasting impression. Renee Morgan is one of those people.

For almost a decade, she has been a tireless advocate and promoter for the Town of Danville, as a member of the Town Council and former mayor. Renee has a vivacious personality, a proactive approach to leadership, and an overwhelmingly-positive attitude, all of which make a lasting impression on her constituents. Whether she’s attending a black-tie fundraising gala or rolling up her sleeves for a volunteer clean-up effort, Renee relates to the citizens of Danville because she has lived here for over thirty years and raised her children here.

She is not just concerned with one area of the community; she wants what is best for all of Danville. What is truely impactful is what the people in our town have to say about her. The following are excerpts from some of those conversations.

Councilmember Morgan is by far the best public servant I have seen for Danville. She has made a tremendous commitment to the residents of Danville.—Tim Argenti

Councilmember Morgan fought for coronavirus relief that directly benefits the residents and Businesses of Danville. She organized efforts to protect our frontline workers and keep Danville
thriving.—Dr. Bela Kenessey

Councilmember Morgan is not afraid to ask the difficult questions and get the job done.—Jennifer French

Renee has proven that no job is too big or too small when it comes to helping our children and community.—Lisa Pellegrini, Danville Children’s Guild

As Danville’s mayor and councilmember, Renee has brought knowledge, dedication and energy to our community. I support her re-election.—Beverly Lane, Former Danville Mayor and East Bay Regional Park District Director

Councilmember Renee Morgan continues to bring creative questions and views to Danville decisions for the past eight years. She has been immersed in senior issues with her mother, veteran issues with her son-in-law and student issues with a high school son. A vote for Renee is a vote for experience during issues that Danville has not faced before this pandemic.—Fellow Council Member/Current Mayor Karen Stepper

Renee is at virtually every community event throughout the year with one goal in mind, to promote Danville. She truly wants everyone to know what a wonderful town we live in, comprised of so many amazing residents who we are blessed to call neighbors and friends.—Mike Mooney

I love seeing Renee around town. She’s always so upbeat and positive. I believe she truly cares about the people living here and wants to do everything in her power to make Danville a safe and comfortable place to live.—Cathy Tisa.

As the daughter of a career military man, Renee knows the importance of accountability and not being afraid to stand up for what’s right when it comes to the well being of her constituents. She prides herself on being accessible to the residents of Danville and letting them know that she’ll follow through on promises. She wholeheartedly believes it’s critical to be aware of what’s happening in the community to make good decisions and secure needed services.

When I last spoke with her, she was getting ready to attend a ZOOM meeting for San Ramon Regional Hospital, where she serves on the Governing Board. A ZOOM conference followed, serving as the Executive Board Treasurer for Meals on Wheels Diablo Region. During these times of uncertainly, having these types of connections and responsibilities is vital for our community.

She meets regularly with residents, as well as with a variety of groups and organizations within the community, to learn about their concerns. This enables her to make the best decisions for the town of Danville.

Renee has made the Danville Town Council her full-time career, and her proven leadership, experience, and dedication to our community, is not only admirable, but incredibly valuable.

Renee Morgan is hard to miss, and given her political accomplishments, you wouldn’t want to miss her. She is the leader that my family, friends, neighbors, and business associates, should want for Danville.

A Man Called “ISHI”

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A long, long time ago, right around the dawn of the 20th century—a millisecond as far as time goes—there was a man, a red man of indigenous descent, whose name was Ishi. He lived in California’s Sierra Nevada foothills in the small mountain range called “The Buttes,” near Lake Orville. Born in 1861, here were many more of his people, including his mother and sister, who walked those same lands.  

His people were called Yahi Indians, but with great sadness it pains me beyond words to tell you that by the time Ishi left this world, in the year of our Creator, 1916, he was the last of his tribe—a people that had roamed their lands for many thousands of years or since the dawn of time.

They roamed their lands long before even Moses led his people away from Pharaoh and bondage, and long before Queen Isabella asked Christopher Columbus, with her money, to navigate the seven seas.

Ishi’s tribe, the Yahi, lived a wild and free nomadic life that was precious to them. For four and a quarter centuries, they lived, which may seem like an eternity. In reality, however, 424 years is not long at all when considered in terms of when the earth, supposedly, went “big bang boom.”

Yet, that same 424 years was all it took for Ishi’s people to become extinct. What saddens me even more, right to my very core, is that the Yahi tribe was not the only tribe that left this world. Becoming extinct in the name of Christianity, European expansion, manifest destiny, and events like a great land rush on this North American continent, many others suffered the same fate, other tribes like the Anasazi and the Makah are also gone.

These were people who tried to help and guide wayward travelers, yet they were all dealt the ultimate blow of injustice and indignity amongst all the nations of the world. That is what happened, not only to the red, indigenous, American Indian called Ishi, but to many others. This man and his tribe must never be forgotten, not just for who they were, but so we can recognize the sea of darkness they encountered that caused their demise

2020 Kia Telluride

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 Kia’s SUV Line Grows Up!

The 2020 all-new Kia Telluride is Kia’s largest vehicle to date, and they nailed it! Besides its size, the Telluride is the first Kia specifically designed in the U.S. and for the U.S. market. Crafted out of the imaginations in Kia’s Design Center in Irvine, CA., the goal was to create a big, bold, and boxy SUV suitable for on and off-road adventures. The American roots continue with the Telluride being assembled in Georgia.

Pricing and Trims
The 2020 Kia Telluride is available in four trim levels: LX 2WD ($31,890), LX 4WD ($33,890), S 2WD ($34,290), S 4WD ($36,290), EX 2WD  ($37,290), EX 4WD  ($39,290), SX 2WD ($41,790), and SX 4WD ($43,790).

What’s New for 2020?
2020 is the launch of the Kia Telluride, so everything is new!

Interior Highpoints
My test vehicle was the Telluride SX AWD that included the SX Prestige package containing the following: Heads Up Display, 110v inverter, double-stitched quilted and extra-padded Nappa leather trim upholstery, premium cloth headliner & sun visors, heated & ventilated 2nd row seats, 10-speaker Harman/Kardon audio system (AM/FM/SiriusXM), and rain-sensing front windshield wipers.

Standard features on the Telluride that stand out are the USB charging ports, push-button start, ceiling-mounted second-row climate control, simulated brushed metal and matte-finished wood, smart cruise control with stop & go feature, rear occupant alert with ultrasonic sensors, 10-inch touchscreen(optional on some models), tri-zone automatic climate control, wireless smartphone charging (optional on some models).

Getting past the interior features list, I must admit it was beautifully designed and executed, and provided a premium ride experience. The interior was designed for style, luxury, and comfort. The three rows of seats hold 8 people with plenty of leg room for everyone.

Exterior Highlights
The Telluride has a big, bold exterior with a powerful stance that screams I can go anywhere! The side views hint of Ford Explorer at the front and the rest, Jeep Grand Cherokee. It’s a meaty looking mid-size SUV with a long, broad hood and wide grille lined with stacked headlamps. The rear inverted “L” shaped tail lamps are illuminated with LED stripes (standard on the EX and SX trims).

The rims come standard in alloy ranging from 18 to 20 inches. In the higher priced trim levels, a power liftgate and sunroof are available. The Telluride’s length measures in at 196.9 inches, stands around 69-inches, has a maximum width of 78.3-inches and a ground clearance of 8-inches.

Performance Specs
Power is delivered in one engine option – a 3.8-liter V6 gasoline direct injection mated to an 8- speed automatic transmission. The V-6 delivered plenty of power – enough to bolt to 60 mph in around 7.5 seconds and has the capacity to tow up to 5,000 lbs.  The 3.8L produces a respectable 291 horsepower and 262 lb.-ft of torque at 5,200 RPM.

The Telluride has self-leveling rear suspension where the ride height is automatically calibrated depending on vehicle load to optimize control and stability (optional on EX and SX). There are four drive modes – Smart, Eco, Sport and Comfort – each using different settings for powertrain, drivetrain, and steering effort mapping to provide the desired driving experience.

Cool Features:

  • Heads Up Display

  • 110v inverter

  • Harman/Kardon audio system

Safety & Integrity
The safety feature list on the 2020 Kia Telluride is long enough to be an article by itself. Here are a few that stand out and haven’t already been mentioned: Blind Spot Collision-Avoidance Assist Rear, Rear Cross-Traffic Collision – Avoidance Assist, Lane Following Assist, Safe Exit Assist, 7 airbags, Downhill brake control, Hill-start assist control, “Kia Drive Wise” Advanced Driver-Assistance Systems, Forward Collision Avoidance Assist  with Pedestrian Detection, Lane Departure Warning and Lane Keeping Assist (LKA), Blind Spot Collision-Avoidance Assist-Rear, and Driver Attention Warning.

In Summary – If an 8-passenger SUV with style and performance inside and out is on your shopping list, then a trip to Kia is worth taking. Get introduced to the all-new 2020 Kia Telluride and experience the luxury of its cabin, the bold presence of its exterior, and the performance of its V-6 motor. Who knows, the Telluride could zoom to the top of your list!

Specifications.

2020 Kia Telluride SX AWD with SX Prestige package

Base price:                   $43,790 as driven: $47,555 (including destination & optional features)
Engine:            3.8-liter V-6 6-Cylinder
Horsepower:              291 hp @ 6,000 rpm
Torque:262 lb. – ft. @ 5,200 rpm
Transmission:              8-speed automatic transmission
Drive:                            All Wheel Drive
Seating:                        8-passenger
Cargo Volume:            46 cu. ft.
Curb weight:               4,317 pounds
Fuel Capacity:18.8 gallons
Fuel Economy:19 MPG City, 24 MPG Highway
Turning Radius:          19.4 feet
Wheelbase:114.2 inches
Warranty:10 years/1000,000-miles
Also Consider:Chevrolet Traverse, Ford Explorer, Honda Pilot, Hyundai Palisade, Jeep Grand Cherokee, and Volkswagen Atlas

Amazing Akvavit!

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In this time of COVID where air travel could be considered dangerous and we find ourselves staring at the same four walls, day after day, month after month, the good old-fashioned road trip suddenly starts to sound incredibly appealing. Such was the case recently when my family and I decided to drive to the little hamlet of Solvang, perched just north of Santa Barbara in the beautiful Santa Ynez Valley. A short two-hour drive from Los Angeles, it was an easy jaunt and put us squarely into a pretty little town that felt just like an authentic Danish village – a European vacation in an afternoon!

Charming is, in fact, an accurate description of Solvang, the “Danish Capital of America.” It was settled by Danish immigrants at the turn of the 2oth century, seeking to escape the freezing winters of the Midwest, where the majority of Danish immigrants in the USA had settled. Their aim was to establish a Danish community in sunny California to promote and preserve the culture of Denmark.

The beautiful windmill in the center of town heralds Solvang’s European heritage and exciting glimpses of history are scattered all over town. If you like pastries, you’ve come to the right place. Solvang is known for its pastries. Tourists from far and wide seek out the traditional sweet danishes baked in the ovens of Solvang.

As Solvang is located in the heart of Santa Barbara Wine Country, wine bars and tasting rooms abound. One is never far from a cool, refreshing glass of wine on a hot summer’s day. There are endless opportunities to try wonderful, local California wines. Whether you love the buttery richness of a chardonnay or prefer the deep complexity of a pinot noir, it’s all at your fingertips in Solvang. Good wine is easy to find, but leave it to me to dig a little deeper.

Wine is not traditionally Danish. That honor belongs to Akvavit, a highly alcoholic (80 proof) spirit flavored with caraway seed and other herbs. Akvavit is the national liquor of Scandinavia and produced in all three Nordic countries. In Denmark, it is called “Akvavit”, in Sweden, “Aquavit”, and in Norway, “Akevitt.” While the liquor is always distilled from grain or potatoes and flavored with local pungent seeds and herbs, each country boasts a different style and insists theirs is best.

Generally, Akvavit is similar to vodka and served icy cold, in shot glasses, although barrel-aged Akvavit is best served room temperature to experience the full aromas and flavors. Akvavit is traditionally served at family celebrations and always enjoyed over the Christmas holidays. A little goes a long way to keep warm from the inside out in the freezing northern climes! While Akvavit is usually sipped neat, the flavorful liquor can also be used to create delicious and original cocktails with a Scandinavian flair.

Scandinavian lore alludes to the mystical healing powers of Akvavit. Indeed, the alchemists that first happened upon the miracle of distillation thought they had harnessed a true life force in their creation. The name thus bestowed upon such a powerful spirit makes perfect sense, as the literal translation of Akvavit is “Water of Life.” While today the actual healing properties of Akvavit may be debated, it is still considered a digestive aid and sipped copiously after large meals.

During these days of COVID, it’s fabulous to hit the road and have an adventure or two in a magical place like Solvang. But if your time is limited and the temperatures are hot, perhaps the next best thing is to take a virtual trip to Denmark with an icy splash of Akvavit! Akvavit can be found in all fine wine and spirits shops. Give it a try! Skol!

Election 2020: Economic and Equity Market Impacts

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We are less than two months from the 59th presidential election on November 3.  In addition to normal pre-election concerns, this year’s virus crisis election worries amplify existing concerns about the weak economy, a possible second wave of the corona virus this fall and the current all-time high market.  In this month’s Investor’s Edge column, I hope to share with you a proper perspective on the presidential election’s impact on the economy and stock market. 

Markets tend to be volatile ahead of elections, and October and November tend to be the wildest months of the year anyway, so with the two combined this year, wide swings in stock prices are near certain.  When we throw in the wild card of the politics of politics, Election 2020 could impact the economy and stock market even more.  The possibility of a contested election could wreak havoc in both the country’s economy and our financial markets, as Americans might then question the viability of our nation’s democratic process.

I want to start with the impact presidential elections have on the U.S. stock market in general.  I hate to disappoint you, but for all the campaigning, polling, conventions, billions of dollars spent by the candidates, fretting, fighting, and rhetoric, for long-term investors, the presidential election doesn’t matter much.  Markets have tended to power through presidential elections, though, not without some volatility along the way, regardless of whether a Democrat or Republican won the White House.  

History and research proves this point.  Market data since 1789 (using a mix of the S&P 500 & Dow Jones Industrial Average) shows, over a full 4-year term, there is virtually no return difference between Democrat or Republican president.  It is a near tie: Democrat +8.6% vs. +8.8% for Republican presidencies.  Keep that in mind as we approach November.  Election years can be a tough time for investors to maintain a long-term perspective, given the strong emotions often induced by politics.  The election/emotion meter could easily peak this election, perhaps the most in modern times — stoked by the combination of a deadly pandemic, a global economic weakness, widespread civil unrest and unprecedented market volatility.  So, investors should keep emotions in check, and focus on the market’s fundamentals, their asset allocation, the economy’s condition and potential policy changes the election could bring.  That leads to the impact potential policy changes could have on the U.S. economy.  Tax policy, like in the last election, may be a big one with this year’s election outcome.

Researching which stocks moved and to what degree around the 2016 election, I found taxes had the most impact. This makes sense, as taxes directly affect corporate valuations and is the primary policy that is within control of political lawmakers.  Simply, lower taxes increase earnings, which helps boost stock valuations.  Other policies will impact the economy and specific sectors, such as energy and healthcare, but tax policy tends to carry the broadest market influence if 2016 is any guide.  Consider a Joe Biden victory in November; and if the Senate flips Democratic.  Mr. Biden wants to raise taxes.  He may increase the top income-tax rate to 39.6% and raise the tax on dividends and capital gains to the same.  Another “what if” Biden wins and tax policy, he is thought to raise the corporate tax rate to 28% from the current 21%.  As I noted above, expect potential policy changes to also impact the economics of the healthcare and energy sectors.  Trade and infrastructure policies put in place post-election will impact the macro economy, too.  In many cases, such as healthcare policy, it matters more which party wins Congress than which man wins the White House.  Because healthcare policy is largely driven by legislators, a change in who controls Congress could determine whether the new president’s healthcare vision becomes a reality.  Congress plays a big role on trade, also.  Trade policy will not only be impacted by who occupies the Oval Office, though wide-ranging trade powers are granted to the president.  It also hinges on whether the Senate remains in Republican hands, as Congress has the authority to approve new trade deals.

In review, historically, the stock market has consistently delivered positive returns year-after-year whether we had a Democrat or Republican president.  Therefore, the presidential election itself has not mattered much. What matters more is the control of Congress as important and economically impactful government policies can be reformed.  On an additional noteworthy election fact relating to the stock market is the “Presidential Election Cycle Theory.”  This was originally put forth by Yale Hirsch, creator of the Stock Trader’s Almanac.  According to its research, the market has been positive overall in 19 of the last 23 election years (from 1928–2016), only showing negative returns four times. Year three of a president’s term is usually the strongest year for the market, followed by year four, then the second, and finally the first.  So, there’s some more food for thought on the election and equities market. 

May the best candidate win.  May we soon have a COVID-19 vaccine.  And may 2020 be a successful investment year for you.  As usual, call me if you ever have a question. I am always happy to help.

Woodlawn

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We’ve had plenty to deal with in 2020. As I was sitting down to write about this amazing movie, I realized we were first required to “Shelter In Place” six months ago today.  While many of us are back in the workplace, many more of us are working from home, attending school online, or just plain hesitant to spend our days and nights out in public.  The 2020 fear started with Covid-19 and has progressed through protests and riots to wildfires. 

Things have changed; the “norm” is new.  Many of us have transitioned to working or schooling from home as a temporary inconvenience to the belief that we are now dealing with our future reality.  Restaurants are limited, so we have started cooking more for ourselves and our families. We’ve even worked our ways through a puzzle or two, or twenty. 

One of the more concerning issues we’re dealing with as well are the protests, peaceful to truly scary!  Racial unrest.  Hot days and warm summer nights have seen the protests crop up in every city.  Big-city police officers are fighting for the right to protect their cities. Racial unrest. One would think it would have become a thing of the past by now.

Woodlawn, a true story, is a powerful movie.  It takes place in Birmingham, Alabama, in 1973, another time and place of racial unrest.

A gifted high school football player must learn to boldly embrace his talent and faith as he battles racial tensions on and off the field at Woodlawn, a moving and inspirational film based on a true story of how love and unity overcame hate and division in early 1970s’  Birmingham. 

Tony Nathan (Caleb Castille) lands in a powder keg of anger and violence when he joins fellow African-American students at Woodlawn High School after its government-mandated desegregation in 1973.  The Woodlawn Colonels football team is a microcosm of the problems at the school and in the city, which erupts in cross burning and riots, and Coach Tandy Gerelds (Nic Bishop) is at a loss to solve these unprecedented challenges with his disciplinarian ways. When Coach (Jon Voight) goes to Tony’s home to recruit him, his father asks how many black players are on the team?  When the Coach answers, his father asks, “Why do you see that changing?”  The answer?  Because it’s time. 

It’s only when Hank (Sean Astin), an outsider, asks to speak to the team that everything starts to change. Hank becomes the team’s unofficial chaplain giving these boys the grounding they need to thrive in this turbulent time. The change is so profound in the team it affects their coach, their school, and their community in ways no one could have imagined. 

Mark Burnett and wife, Roma Downey, are the Executive Producers, and Jon and Andy Erwin wrote, directed, and produced this Pureflix film. It is a well-done gem. 

In my life I have experienced racial tension.  I have to admit that after almost 60 years, I would like to think we were done with that part of history.  We obviously haven’t resolved that issue.  I do believe that the answer found in Woodlawn in 1973 is still the answer for today.  

Find Woodlawn, the movie and watch it. It’s great for teens and pre-teens. It was produced in 2015, so you should be able to find it. It’s worth the search.  

As always, send me your thoughts to carolyn@carolynhastings.com.

Trivial Matters About Soda Pop

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Even before carbonation, soft drinks had been around for hundreds of years.  Mix some fruit, honey, mint, etc. and you had a non-alcoholic refreshment.  In the late 1700s Joseph Priestly was able to make carbonated water by injecting carbon dioxide into water.  In the 1800s the two were combined and voila, soda pop.  The average American consumes over 30 gallons of soda drinks per year.  Here is some trivia on the origins and ‘pop’ culture influence of soda pop drinks.

(1)  Pharmacist Charles Alderton created what famous soda pop in a drug store in Waco, Texas in the 1880s? 

(2)  In the 1985 film ‘Back to the Future’, Marty tries to order two different sodas at a diner, without success.  Can you name them?

(3)  What famous soda pop was created in 1929 as “Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda” before changing its name?  And Yes, it did have lithium citrate in it as a mood stabilizer until 1948!

(4)  During World War II Germany had to create their own soda because they couldn’t get Coca Cola.  Using ingredients such as beet sugar, whey, apple pomace, and their ‘imagination’, what drink did they come up with?

(5)  Rob Lowe played Sodapop Curtis in what 80s film? 

(6)  Having its own national holiday on March 15th, what classic drink is made consisting of milk, carbonated water, and flavored syrup?

ANSWERS to July’s Trivia Questions

(1)  George III

(2)  Franklin Roosevelt

(3)  15

(4)  1996

(5)  Walt Disney Company     

(6)  John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Monroe died, and Calvin Coolidge was born on that day.

Defending History

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I’ve always been interested in history. History is the foundational root of everything we are aware of in the present. How agriculture and animal husbandry evolved. How medicine came to be practiced. How law was established. How education was transmitted and conveyed. How military tactics, operations, and strategy came to be known. How the empirical scientific method grew out of superstition and witchcraft.

In the late 1970s, I remember watching a television program created, written, and presented by science historian James Burke called Connections. The showdemonstrated how various discoveries, scientific achievements, and historical world events were built from one another successively in an interconnected way to bring about particular aspects of modern technology. Everything we enjoy today—civil rights, modern conveniences, medical breakthroughs, advances in transportation—is a result of historical precedent. To fail to understand how important history is, to fail to appreciate how an individual, a country, a culture, or a civilization came to be in the present day, is to be blinded by ignorance that doom an individual to a lifetime of disconnected nihilism and civilization to another Dark Age.

Why has the American republic succeeded where other attempts at republican government throughout the world have failed? Our neighbor to the north, Canada, remains a commonwealth of the United Kingdom. They do not have a Bill of Rights because they never had a War of Independence. Canadians are still subjects of the Queen. Our neighbor to the south, Mexico, had a War of Independence from their own imperial motherland, Spain. And yet the history of Mexico since its independence from Spain has been a chain of petty dictators, revolution, corruption – and today, a third of the country is ruled by transnational cartels.

Simon Bolivar attempted to replicate the success of George Washington. He failed. Thomas Paine believed the French Revolution would have the same results as the American Revolution. Thomas Paine was wrong. Potential immigrants from all over the world desire to immigrate to the United States of America. Why the United States? Why not other countries? What makes the United States work?

Russell Kirk wrote in The Roots of American Order that the success of the United States came from the influence of four cities: Jerusalem, Athens, Rome, and London. All of the thought, philosophy, and ideas of those cities was distilled in the city of Philadelphia.

The Hebrews. The Christians. The Hellenic Greeks. The Ancient Romans. And the Anglo-Saxons. Christendom – the religion of The West. Greece – the cradle of Western Civilization. The Roman Republic – whose architecture, science, military organization, and system of education continue to influence our culture today. And Anglo-Saxon common law. This is what we have inherited.

How does an entire country lose its freedom? One of the first tactics of any tyrannical system is to remove the heritage, legacy, and cultural touchstones of a people to their ancestral past. Chairman Mao called it “getting rid of the Four Olds.” The Jacobins of the French Revolution disposed of the old Gregorian calendar and proclaimed Year One. The Khmer Rouge in Cambodia – while massacring millions of their fellow Cambodians – proclaimed Year Zero.

In his final speech as President of the United States, Ronald Reagan said, “Freedom is only one generation away from extinction.”

Without knowing who we are as Americans, we cannot defend ourselves from the forces who seek to strip our distinctive cultural identity away; we cannot defend ourselves from the orchestrated efforts which seek to shame us into believing America is nothing more than a nation of greed, brutality, and racism. We cannot prevent the methodical and systematic endeavors to remove our natural rights which have been secured by a Constitution which is only as good as the people who have the integrity to uphold it.

Consequently, this column will endeavor to defend our history, our culture, our traditions, and our shared norms from the cultural Marxists seeking to overthrow, erase, and fundamentally change the United States of America. I hope to impart some of the knowledge I have gained and learn more from reader feedback as we work together to reclaim the glorious legacy we have all inherited as American citizens!

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