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Dear SSHS,

I’ve been dating a guy exclusively for nearly three months, and when I posted on social media some pics of us at a party, he saw them and asked me to take them down.  He said he just didn’t like his personal life exposed, but I wonder if I should be suspecting something else.             –Suspicious in Walnut Creek

She Said: He saw them, so that means he’s on social media. My guess is that he’s either not really free to be in a relationship or that he just doesn’t want to appear to be, maybe keeping his options open. If you haven’t already done this, ask him what he thinks of you listing his name on your relationship status on FB. If he’s fine with it, you’ve got nothing to be suspicious about. If he doesn’t approve, it’s time to ask some serious questions. I know people who really just don’t like personal information out there, and maybe that’s all it is. Help us out here, Shawn. What’s going on in this guy’s head?

He Said: I can completely relate and understand where this guy is coming from. Robin makes some very good points about being suspicious and you should heed her warnings. BUT, and this is a very BIG BUT, there’s a good chance he doesn’t want his personal life broadcast to the world. I can relate to this 100% because I am not on any social media and I want to keep it that way. If I haven’t posted my life on the internet, I don’t want other people doing it for me. There’s a large population of people out there, men especially, that don’t see the appeal in Facebook or other social sites. Who we want to know about our personal lives, we’ve already told, personally.

Dear HSSS,

What’s considered the proper protocol these days for ending a dating relationship that hasn’t really become intimate?  Can we just sort of fade away or does there need to be an actual defining closure?                                                                                       –Lost Interest in San Ramon

He Said: Just because there’s no intimacy doesn’t mean that there aren’t emotions and feelings that developed along the way. And how long the relationship lasted is not a good barometer also. A lot of people fall for someone in a short amount of time and that becomes the sticky point. The main thing to consider is how will their emotions be affected by your actions? My thoughts are this: if you faded into the relationship then you can fade out. But if you started hot and heavy on the emotional side of things, then you owe it to the other person to provide definitive closure and not just turn into a ghost and disappear.

She Said: It sure is easier to fade away, and I’ve been guilty of that, but my higher self always feels better making the call. It doesn’t have to be long and drawn out. Something like, “Hey thanks for meeting me, I don’t have a lot of time, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m moving on and feel the need to end our relationship.”  Have a place you need to get to, so that the Q/A portion doesn’t go on uncomfortably long. Note: long-term relationships deserve way more closure time than this.

Robin Fahr is a communications specialist and host of Conversations seen daily on Tri-Valley TV, Channel 30 and online at trivalleytv.org. Shawn and Robin also host He Said/She Said on TheTalkPod.com.  Send your questions to AskHeSaidSheSaid.com.

Q. I’ve laid bark over landscape fabric for weed control following the instructions on the packaging. After four days, I was very surprised to find weeds growing right through the material. How do I get rid of the weeds? What can I do to prevent this from happening again?

A. To be effective, the bark or any other type of mulch should be at least two inches thick for weed control. The combination of the fabric and the mulch prevents light from reaching the soil. Without a light source, the dormant weed seeds can’t germinate. In the past, black plastic was used, however it did not allow the soil to breathe. Moisture was trapped under the barrier. Plants suffered from root rot from the excessive moisture. To correct the current situation, I’d spray the unwanted vegetation with Round Up and add additional mulch to prevent others from germinating. Many people believe that this will prevent weeds from ever being a problem again in this area. They are sadly mistaken when the weeds return. The landscape fabric will prevent only those weed seeds from germinating that is under it. It isn’t effective controlling any weed seeds above the barrier. Weed seeds move from area to area by the wind. As the hills turn brown, the seeds produce by the annual grasses and other plants are transported to new areas. Bark or any other mulch stored in open bins and delivered in bulk are more likely to have weed seeds than those packaged in bags. Over time the bark breaks down and become fine particles. It’s a perfect medium for seeds to sprouts and grow. Monterey Weed Stopper is a pre-emergent herbicide that sets up a chemical barrier that kills the weed seeds before they germinate. It’s too late to apply it once you see any growth. To keep the area weed free, be sure to follow the instructions on the label and don’t cultivate the area. If you do, you’ll have to reapply the material, as the barrier is broken.

Q. I have two tomato plants growing in large pots. They are doing well, in fact you can almost watch them grow. But, I’m a bit concerned because they are so very bushy. Should I strip some of the growth off or just let them continue on?

A. It is important for tomatoes to be bushy with lots of leaves. The foliage cover is a type of natural sun block protecting the ripening tomatoes from sunburn. Sunburn is a tan/beige spot that forms on the south and southwest side of the fruits. But, you can have too much of a good thing. I’d selectively thin out the inside, secondary shoots that forms were a leaf connects to a stem. The center of the plants become crowded and dense as they mature, especially when you’re using a tomato cage. This will let in more light and increases the air circulation throughout the plant keeping the inside foliage from turning brown. I’d repeat this as necessary. You should also be on the lookout for Tomato Hornworm. They like to hide out in the center of the plant and eat their way outward. When caught early  you can just pick them off or spray with BT or Captain Jack Dead Bug Brew.    

Q. I have several fruit trees; orange, cherry and plum, planted on a slope. They all have a basin but the water seems to run out before it sinks into the ground. How can I get the water to penetrate faster?

A. Watering basins are a must today with the ongoing water restrictions. With plants planted on a slope, they should be six to eight inches high on the downside to form a sufficient watering basin. A soil surfactant such as EZ Wet from Grow More, aids or increases the percolation rate, preventing erosion and water run off. EZ Wet makes water “better” at doing its job. It reduces water’s surface tension so it penetrates directly into the root zone, hydrating plants more effectively. It’s applied directly to the watering basin of trees and shrubs. For moisture retention, I’d spread a three inch layer of mulch in the basin and beyond. The cherry and plum are watered every three weeks while the orange is watered more frequently. Instead of using an irrigation system, I’d hand water your trees to make every drop count. The other application is with containers of Japanese Maples, Citrus, Roses, Camellias, and other ornamental plants as it prevents the water from rolling around the root ball and down and out the sides of the container. Soil surfactants are not new as they have been around of decades. They were widely used in previous drought periods. EZ Wet  should be applied every other month through November.

TMJ literally means temporomandibular joint. The term TMJ has been used for years to represent a whole bunch of symptoms related to the mandible, or lower jaw; the teeth and the muscles attached to the skull and mandible. The term TMD, temporomandibular dysfunction, is now used to represent these problems. Every normal human has TMJs, only some have TMD.

Like many fields of medicine that direct treatments at the symptom instead of the whole patient, the vast majority of educational institutions with recommendations on how to treat TMD represent nothing but “expert” opinions founded on junk science.  One institution teaches the use of electromyography to diagnose improper muscle activity, charging thousands of dollars.  Assuming that the muscle imbalance is caused by the bite, a.k.a. the way the teeth come together, extensive dentistry is usually prescribed, resulting in costly fees to follow.

A lecture I attended last year concluded that the best treatment choice was drugs, in this case Gabapentin, which has the side effect of depression. Therefore, the lecturer recommended a tricyclic antidepressant which has further, sometimes dangerous, side effects. Of the many continuing education courses in TMD I have taken, each one has been symptom-oriented, forgetting the patient and what caused the symptom in the first place.

Decades ago research was conducted that found those with TMD symptoms held their teeth together an average of 16 hours a day, while those without symptoms averaged minutes per day. The teeth are only supposed to come together when swallowing.  There is no question that a bad bite can be one of the underlying factors in TMD, but why is the patient holding their teeth together?

This is where a holistic approach can mean the difference, not only in treatment of TMD, but in all fields of medicine. Let’s take a look at the decades old finding mentioned above and ask why is the patient holding their teeth together?

One big factor preventing this approach is that it takes much more understanding of patients, requiring much more time, (money), and a greater understanding of physiology, psychology and general health of the patients.  One of the best medical books I have read is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People.  If you already read it, read it again.  If a doctor can’t communicate and get you to believe he/she cares, then how can you know that you are understood?

In a holistic practice, many times I recommend lifestyle changes.  Those changes won’t happen if the patient does not believe in me.  I have had cases where a change in the diet took away the symptoms after years of suffering.  In some cases the underlying cause of the headaches required referral to a gastroenterologist, pulmonologist or other specialist to get to the root of the cause.

Most of my difficult cases are stress related, but, again, what’s causing the stress?  It could be hormone imbalance, poor sleep, food sensitivity or many other factors.  There are side effects to giving drugs for stress.  The side effect of treating the cause to get relief is a healthier, happier patient.

If you are suffering from TMD or even have symptoms of sleep apnea, come in for a complimentary consultation.  Advanced Oral Diagnosis & Treatment Center is located in Danville. You can contact us at aodtc.com or  call 925-837-8048.

 

 

 

Anesthesiologists have been performing nerve blocks for surgical anesthesia for centuries to allow a patient to undergo an operative procedure more comfortably with less general anesthetic and therefore fewer side effects. Modern anesthesiologists prefer to administer more regional anesthetics (i.e., anesthetizing only a specific region of the body) over a general anesthetic whenever possible because we find that patients have less pain, nausea and delirium postoperatively, as well as shorter, if not outpatient, hospital stays. Typical types of surgery that would fall into this category are surgeries on extremities including total hip and knee replacements; leg, foot, arm, shoulder and hand surgeries.

The pain management specialty was borne from the desire to help more patients who are not having surgery, but who are in pain nonetheless, with the same techniques. By offering interventional techniques such as nerve blocks and steroid injections, we can treat outpatient pain problems without having to rely on or use high dose oral pain medications. The most commonly performed procedures are epidural steroid injections for neck, mid-back and low back pain. Herniated discs and stenosis (spinal arthritis) can cause inflammation and swelling of spinal nerves to create severe pain in the neck, arms, low back and/or legs. The injection of steroid medication into the epidural space, which surrounds the nerves, helps reduce the swelling and inflammation and pain. We often inject a local anesthetic, aka “numbing medication,” with the steroid for some immediate pain relief, which is what makes the injection a “block.” Oftentimes the anti-inflammatory effect of the steroid provides long lasting pain relief for months or years; however, occasionally the pain relief effect may only last days or weeks. The difference in the result from person to person depends on multiple factors including: severity of the disc herniation or arthritis, weight burden on the spine, muscle tone surrounding the spine, and amount of inflammation, to name a few. Unfortunately, these steroids don’t cure the ultimate cause of the pain, but they can and do, for most people, improve function and reliance on pain medications. The injections can safely be repeated if the pain returns, however, the best way to avoid future pain exacerbations is to optimize spine health with weight reduction, core strength training and stress reduction/management.

As with any medical technique or recommendation, the benefit of the treatment should far exceed the risk. Cervical and thoracic epidural injections inherently carry more risk to perform because the spinal cord can be injured if they are not performed correctly. The spinal cord terminates at L2 and exists as long spaghetti-like nerve endings below this level, so lumbar epidural injections carry less risk of spinal injury, however all injections should only be performed by specialty trained doctors. Patients who are at higher risk for complications from injections include those with diabetes or bleeding disorders or those who are taking blood thinners. If steroid injections are done too frequently, side effects can occur including adrenal suppression (the body doesn’t make its own steroid hormones), early cataracts and hormonal imbalances.

My pain management philosophy is to use a balance of treatment options so the patient isn’t at higher risk from any one particular type of treatment. Also, the complexities of chronic pain are better addressed by using a treatment plan that is directed at alleviating more than one aspect of the pain. Oftentimes pain, anxiety, depression, insomnia, isolationism, anger and embarrassment are intertwined and there just isn’t one type of medication or injection or treatment that will make all of those symptoms resolve simultaneously. The best treatment plan is one that will reduce pain and increase quality of life and function for the short term and the long term with the least side effects.

I don’t often re-visit a movie but July 4th, Independence Day, is a very special day to me. I love all it stands for. I am blessed.  If you are reading this in the USA, you are blessed. If you didn’t watch this movie when I wrote about it before, do it now. America is once again at a crossroads. Watch and learn.

It started with a bus and a curb.  Independence Day is one of my very favorite holidays and on that day, every year my quaint little town pulls out all the stops to celebrate our freedom.  We start with a parade (well, for the early risers they get to start their celebration with a pancake breakfast) and move on from there.  My grandkids and I go down the afternoon before and stake our spot.  We change every few years but this year was the same as last.  Our chairs get unstacked at the curb and the games come out of the bag.  There are usually snacks to go along with the games.  Now, there we sit and play for the next few hours waiting for 6 o’clock. At six we put our names on the chairs, tie them together with red, white and blue ribbon and go home to get a good night’s rest.

About midway through the streams of kids sports teams, dogs, horses and floats there was a BIG BLACK BUS.  I had never seen a bus in the parade and this one had a picture of the Statue of Liberty emblazoned on the side.  America: Imagine the World without Her, has finally been released in theaters.

I thought, “What better day to ponder that question than Independence Day.”

Someone once observed “America is great because she is good; if she ever ceases to be good she will cease to be great.”  Today that notion of the essential goodness of America is under attack, replaced by another story in which theft and plunder are seen as the defining features of American history – from the theft of Native American and Mexican lands and the exploitation of African labor to a contemporary foreign policy said to be based on stealing oil and a capitalist system that robs people of their “fair share.”  Our founding fathers warned us that, although the freedoms they gave us were hard fought, they could very easily be lost. America stands at a crossroads and the way we understand our past will determine our future.

Now, there’s the rub.  We have people in America who would love to Change Her.  I am old enough to remember when there was rarely a meeting of more than a handful of people where we didn’t say the Pledge of Allegiance.  When we said the pledge or an American flag went by we put our hands on our hearts and the men actually took off their hats.  That’s respect; respect for a flag that stands for a country that STANDS.  America has fought in almost every land, not to conquer them but to free them. Not to plunder and steal but to add value.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the men who created this incredible movie.  Dinesh D’Souza is an immigrant from India. He and John Sullivan wrote the screenplay and directed this amazing documentary.  Dinesh also wrote the book and produced this film.

America takes 21^st century Americans into the future by first visiting our past.  This movie exemplifies and echoes the reasons and passionate feelings most Americans still have today. I have to admire the many early grade educators who still hold to the truths about America. My four grandchildren had teachers who taught them well. As Americans we need to insist that our colleges and universities hold fast to American exceptionalism. If you are faltering in your belief of that, I challenge you to see the movie, “America” Imagine the World without Her.

As always, I invite your thoughts at chastings@rockcliff.com.

The condition known as Sciatica is one of the most common conditions that we treat at Align Healing Center. Some of the typical symptoms of Sciatica are sharp pain in the low back and/or buttocks accompanied by numbness, tingling, aching or burning down the back of the leg. In severe circumstances, weakness in the leg may also be seen.

The Sciatic Nerve is large and travels down the back of the leg to the foot. The nerve is buried deep within the muscles of the buttock and leg making it difficult to treat with common physical therapy methods. The Sciatic Nerve is composed of several smaller nerves and originates from the low back. It passes under the piriformis muscle (underneath the main buttock muscles) on its way down the leg. Irritation of the Sciatic Nerve at any point along its path is commonly known as “Sciatica.”

Understanding Sciatica

Let’s talk about nerves for a moment. Nerves are the electrical wiring of the human body. They carry the signals that allow us to move, feel, digest, detoxify, respond to our environment, and so much more. Plain and simple, if the nerves do not work the body will not work. That being said, it is important to understand that unlike other tissues, the primary blood supply to nerve tissue is actually located within the nerve itself.  So, if a nerve becomes impinged or compromised, so does the blood supply to the nerve.  Without proper blood supply, the nerve does not receive the energy and nutrition needed for the nerve to heal itself. Over time, neural impingement leads to a painful chronic condition called Neuropathy. The definition of neuropathy is a disease or injury affecting nerve cells. The common symptoms of Neuropathy include sharp pain, burning, muscular weakness, numbness or tingling either at the site of the nerve injury or wherever the nerve travels. The condition known as Sciatica is a form of Neuropathy that specifically affects the Sciatic Nerve.

What can I do to relieve my Sciatica without drugs or surgery?

Since 1999 Align Healing Center has been offering many different modalities to heal Sciatica. We have found that a combination of Class IV laser therapy and spinal decompression offer outstanding results in healing stubborn Sciatica. Class IV Laser Therapy allows the practitioner to stimulate healing within the damaged tissue by delivering the necessary energy directly to the injured area. This creates an optimal healing environment that reduces pain and inflammation, swelling, muscle spasms and stiffness. In addition to laser therapy we implement spinal decompression to restore spinal disc health. Decompression works by gently stretching the spine, creating a vacuum effect which can restore disc height and even reduce the severity of bulging disc conditions associated with chronic pain and neurological symptoms.

We have found laser and decompression therapy to be most beneficial for patients with pinched nerves, arthritis, herniated discs, and degenerative disc disease. This unique combination of non-invasive therapy offers a chance for realizing a permanent cure. The treatment is finite and typically lasts for about a month. This eliminates the long-term care commitment forced upon patients by other symptomatic sciatica treatments.  With proper care and rehabilitation of your spine and nervous system you can be back to your healthy self quickly!

Dr. Niele Maimone, DC of Align Healing Center in Danville, CA has been active in natural health and wellness since 1999. For more information or to set up a consult call 925.362.8283 or visit www.alignhealingcenter.com.

SUMMER CLEANSING: NEW ORGANIC FACIAL MASQUES

One of the secrets to beautiful skin is treating it once or twice a month to a facial masque, such as a deep exfoliant or a micro scrub and collagen booster. Facial Masques deeply penetrate the surface of the skin giving it that velvety smooth feeling, while the complexion looks silky, firm and youthful. Like having a professional facial, you can get the same results with some simple treatments at home, for a fraction of the cost, and have fun while doing it.  Each masque can do up to 20 facials and it only takes 30 minutes to have gorgeous looking skin.

What you can expect: Reduce the signs of aging, sun damage, and the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.  With professional grade treatments you will achieve beautiful, smooth looking skin and a more youthful radiant complexion, while slowing down the aging process.

Marine Peel: This powerful exfoliator is specially blended to rejuvenate the surface of the skin for a visibly fresher, softer appearance, giving the skin a smooth youthful look. It’s a beautiful summer skin refresher!

Multi-Active Black Mud Masque and Scrub: A dual-action, all-in-one, deep pore exfoliator, removes pore-clogging impurities by removing dead skin cells while promoting cellular turnover. Humectants protect the skin against moisture loss. Looks weird; works amazing!

Collagen Renewal Masque: Vitamin-enriched antioxidant moisture masque revitalizes dry, dehydrated, thirsty skin. It leaves the skin nourished, hydrated and healthy, giving the complexion a radiant more youthful appearance. Goes well with Pellegrino and a twist of lime!

Sea Kelp Masque: Tones, firms, nourishes and replenishes skin with algae extract, sea kelp, Shea butter, Elastin and antioxidants. For a more lifted, firmer and healthier looking complexion.  It’s an instant face lift! Don’t you just love that?

Honey and Almond Masque: This mineral-enriched, active exfoliating masque gently detoxifies the face while restoring skin’s moisture balance. Improves elasticity, unclogs pores, decongests and eliminates dead skin cells, while leaving the skin polished, smooth and revitalized. Goes well with a spa-girls-night-out, laughing hysterically because everyone looks wonky.

For Oily and Acne Skin Types

Blemish Clay Masque: Bentonite is an organic, rich mineral clay that aids in decongesting pores, removes cellular debris and draws out impurities and balances the skin. Highly recommended to control oily skin and minor breakouts. Being in Control is Power!

Acne Control Sulfur Masque: A masque with sulfur, purified clay and strong decongestants will deeply cleanse oily and combination skin types prone to having breakouts and clogged pores. Dries and clears blemishes while preventing new breakouts. May use as a spot treatment overnight to diminish problem areas. Combating problem skin equals empowerment!

At The Rouge Cosmetics our mission is to improve skin health. Dedicated to this purpose, we make one simple promise—provide advanced skin care backed by science and infusing organics. Come in this month and receive a sample of our superior line of new organic facial masques formulated to improve and restore youthful, radiant skin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“There’s a bright golden haze in the meadow,” are the opening lyrics to the American treasure Oklahoma, the first musical by the legendary team, Rodgers and Hammerstein. Rodgers wrote the music, while Hammerstein supplied the lyrics and libretto to a steady stream of great musicals from the 1940s to the 1950s. Let’s reminisce about their masterworks produced together and separately.

1. Prior to getting together with Rodgers, Oscar Hammerstein wrote the lyrics to the great musical of 1928, Showboat. Who was the music composer of that great show?

2. Prior to getting together with Hammerstein, Richards Rodgers partnered with a wonderful lyricist in several hit shows of the 1920s and 1930s, such as Pal Joey. Who was that lyricist?

3. She later won an Oscar for Gentlemen’s Agreement, but she got her first big break playing Ado Annie in R & H’s first hit Oklahoma. Who was she?

4. Their next big hit was Carousel. The love song between Billy and Julie was the personal favorite of R & H. What was it?

5. For their next hit, South Pacific, they hired a star from the New York opera to play the male lead and sing “Some Enchanted Evening.” Who was he?

6. For their next hit, King and I, they chose a star from England who made her career in British music halls and some early Broadway musicals. Who was she?

7. The most successful movie based on a R & H musical was Sound of Music. Julie Andrews starred in the movie, but who played Maria on Broadway?

Without question, July is one of my favorite months. It’s a time of simple pleasures, like bare feet on the packed wet sand of a Santa Cruz beach and feeling the silky wrap of front-porch-warm evenings. It’s also the month I celebrate the anniversaries of two of the happiest days of my life. Forty years ago I scooped every other man alive by marrying the most beautiful woman on the planet and twenty-five ago she and I were blessed by the birth of a son who has, before our eyes, become a man of character of a sort that I aspire to.

Added to these, I share in the broader celebration with most Americans in the recognition of Independence Day—the fourth of July. Of course if you follow much of the main stream media, you might be left with the impression that we have little to celebrate. Bad news sells, after all.

To be sure, we face a number of difficult challenges these days, but we must remember that we have something of enormous power that no other nation on Earth has—something we can depend upon to solve any crisis or challenge—the American spirit. Even in the most difficult of times, America still offers more opportunity, and our people are more inventive and creative than anywhere else. You have that spirit inside if you are a person whose eyes still well when you hear our national anthem.

Our hope and our pride as Americans still come from the same place inside as it did for the great men and women who conceived this nation: That America is called the “United” States because it is, in the end, a group united. Ultimately, we are collections of counties, then cities and towns, then neighborhoods, homes, families and finally, freedom loving individuals.

Every July 4th we celebrate much more than our national liberation—we celebrate our independence as individuals as we enjoy the glorious blessing of freedom which our nation provides.

As I consider the many reasons why July is one of my favorite months, may God bless you and yours as you celebrate your independence. And may He continue to bless the United States of America.