Last night, Wednesday night, July 8th, I performed a five minute set of stand-up comedy at Tommy T’s Comedy Club in Pleasanton. My good friend and comedy mentor, David VanAvermaete, talked me into “The Stand-Up Experience” as the premise for this very article. As invigorating as it was, I still feel like I might throw up.
Teaching Mike stand-up comedy is somewhat like teaching a bird to fly. Assuming the bird is a penguin. – DVA
When David initially told me he would be producing a show and brought up the idea, my immediate response was, “Let me think about it…No!” Doing a live stand-up comedy routine on stage was never on my bucket list. I’ll admit that I like attention and the spot light as much as the next guy (OK, more than the next guy), but utter humiliation is not how I envision getting it. David assured me that under his tutelage, I would craft a set worthy of applause and laughter. Hence began my crash course in Stand-Up 101.
This could be a springboard for Mike to explore other forms of comedy. Mime comes to mind – DVA
Prior to our first meeting, David had me write out a word-for-word set. I then performed it for him at his home in San Ramon one sunny day in June. He provided me with techniques on structure, conceptual formula (keep the jokes about myself and my life), word placement and pacing. We met once a week for three weeks as I tightened the content, flow and timing of my set. I was still tweaking my material right up until show time, which probably hurt me because I forgot a few key jokes once up on stage.
Mike’s set started off slow and then tapered off. – DVA
The line-up for last night’s show featured MC, Ben Feldman, who opened and performed for 15 minutes. That was followed by my short set of five minutes. After me, Michael Slack did 15 minutes, followed by featured act, Anthony Hill, who did 20 minutes. Headliner David VanAvermaete, performed a modified version of his full set (30 minutes). The other comedians—now that I can technically call myself a comedian—were incredibly welcoming and supportive. I had met Anthony Hill previously and his encouragement was very heartfelt. I am a big fan of Anthony and last night he was trying out quite a bit of new material, not all of which drew big laughs. Anthony’s ability to roll with the crowd’s tepid response and “transition” was inspiring.
When Mike went up on the stage an anticipatory hush came over the crowd. Unfortunately, the hush persisted well into his set. – DVA
Fortunately, several audience members accidentally laughed… when they got their bill. –DVA
There were approximately 75-80 people in the crowd at Tommy T’s for the show, along with a few close friends and family. Their support (and forced laughter) was very much appreciated. I really wasn’t as nervous as one might expect, probably because I was focused on not forgetting my lines. Below is an excerpt from my set.
1. As you heard, this is my first time on stage and I’ll admit to being nervous. Hopefully my first joke won’t involve me crapping my pants, although that would be funny….to you.
2. I’m so green I didn’t even know what to wear tonight. Someone suggested something to make me look younger and thinner so I went over to Macys at the mall and asked them to direct me to their catfish and pedophile department.
3. Much to my surprise, they had one.
4. This is my joke set list, which I’m going to place on this stool. It’s there to help me find my place just in case I get lost or more likely, have a panic attack or pass out from vertigo. (Said as I look over the edge of the stage)
5. This is a lot higher than the last stage I appeared on, that being the coffee table in our family room. I sure miss my lucky American Girl Doll mic right about now.
6. For those you who don’t know me, my name is Mike Copeland. I am 52 years old, but I’ve been told by a lot of people that I don’t look a day over 60
7. They never tell you as a kid that the first two things to go on an aging white male are hair and butt and I don’t know which one is receding faster?
8. My hair started to recede when I was about thirty one or thirty two…months old.
9. “Receding’ is probably an understatement. The definition of recede is to retreat, well my hair line has retreated all the way down to my shoulders. I think we can all agree that my hairline has finally surrendered.
10. The good news is a local plastic surgeon has asked me to be their “after” photo for their new butt reduction procedure.
11. I guess it could be worse. Loose fitting jeans and the lack of a pocket comb are better than the alternative, that being the three “I” words; incompetence, incontinence and impotence.
12. I am married, sorry ladies. Just like the steak here at Tommy T’s, this boner in Rib Eye is off the menu.
13. 21 years ago I was sentenced to life and ever since, I’ve been doing time at the suburban slow death penitentiary.
14. I kid. My wife is here tonight and she has a great sense of humor, however if I read her body language correctly there goes any hope for a “conjugal visit”. (use air quotes)
15. I bet tonight as we get ready for be there may be a role reversal to our little game. I’ll probably end up being the guard and she’ll be the prisoner who’s just been executed by lethal injection.
16. I have two beautiful teenage daughters, thank you again for that sympathetic round of applause.
17. I’m kind of proud to say, that within their peer group, I’m the cool dad.
18. Probably because I buy them and their friends pot, beer and cigarettes.
19. I’m only kidding, I don’t buy them cigarettes.
20. I love my daughters and they love their…. cell phones, debit cards and anything WiFi.
21. As you heard during my intro, I am writer. Most of the magazines I write for don’t offer home delivery, but you can these periodicals in local bookstores in section entitled, FREE, Take One.
22. Currently, I’m with ALIVE magazine. It’s a lot like Vanity Fair or the New Yorker in that it’s got a front cover, back cover and pages with words and pictures.
23. I write a humor lifestyle column, and I’m pretty sure I know what a lot of you are thinking right now……When did Tommy’s have steak on the menu?
24. The rest of you are probably thinking, “He writes humor? Why not write about what you know more about, like humiliation?
25. I’m not certain that my writing will translate from the page to the stage, as I find that I’m at my most hilarious when I’m sitting alone in my home office late at night, pantless.
26. I find that by not wearing pants, I’m less inhibited, more relaxed and the creative juices are free flowing.
27. Unfortunately, Tommy has a “Must Wear Pants on Stage” policy.
28. I suppose if I was Jerry Seinfeld he might waive that policy. Seinfeld impression: What’s the deal with pants? I’m not wearing them!?
29. When it comes to impressions, I’ve been told my Jerry Seinfeld sounds a lot like Jerry Seinfeld imitating Don Knotts during a prostate exam.
30. In addition to my magazine writing, I have two books in publication. I’m proud to tell you that they are currently on the bestseller list …at the Trunk of My Car Bookstore.
31. We have one convenient location… wherever I am.
I had a bit about a recent traffic incident being the result of “Roid Rage”, hemorrhoids not steroids. I surmised that anal fissures were the cause of Dr. David Banner’s metamorphoses into the Hulk, but it wasn’t really coming together and caused my set to run long. There was also a joke about getting advice from the employees at Tommy T’s immediately following their employee comedy competition, Last Busboy Standing. This bit lacked punch lines. My big ending was a joke about my dogs and some of their inappropriate behavior, but it’s not really suitable for a family magazine and I forgot half of it when I was up on stage.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any less funny, Mike launched into some impersonations. – DVA
For a first timer, Mike had great poise and pretty good timing. He gave the impression he had done this at least once before. – Scot Wilson
I’ve seen worse comics who performed for longer. Mike got some respectable laughs. – Derek Sousa
I liken the whole Stand-up experience to skydiving. The first time I tandem jumped, the adrenaline was pumping and it was exhilarating, but it was somewhat of a surreal blur. The second time I jumped, I was completely in the moment and it was so much more rewarding. Performing stand-up comedy takes a lot more courage than skydiving, but I would consider doing another 5-7 minute set in the future hoping to absorb it all slightly better. I guess I could always turn my house into a comedy club (Mikey C’s) for a night and do my routine from our family room coffee table with my lucky American Girl Doll karaoke mic. Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Two shows; nine and eleven, don’t forget to tip your waitresses.
Watching Mike do comedy is like finding a condom in your teenage son’s wallet – awkward and embarrassing, mixed with a little pride. –DVA
My best advice to Mike is to taper off his performance schedule over the next 4 weeks and then quit altogether. –DVA
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