With one out in the bottom of the sixth inning and runners on first and third the eight and under girls All Star softball team I was coaching was feeling the pressure. This being the second game of a two game tournament, intensity was high. Little Jillian, the heart and soul of our team, dug in at the plate and with one swing of the bat her single to left drove in Madeline for the winning run. The dug-out erupted with the shrieking sound of little girls as they poured out onto the field to celebrate the victory. They were as genuinely excited as if they had just won a nationally televised Olympic game against a heavily favored team from Cuba. As I looked around the field at the sight of proud parents, engaged coaches, euphoric and disappointed players, meandering siblings, and relieved league officials, I thought to myself: could we be any luckier? Could freedom and independence in the suburbs be any more clearly defined than by a competitive softball game for little girls on a beautiful Sunday morning?
Having just celebrated another Fourth of July—Independence Day—I am so thankful and appreciative for the liberty we enjoy in our charmed Tri Valley lives. We drive our impractically large SUVs three blocks to purchase an overpriced Grande Mocha Al Pacino at Starbucks, we watch meaningless reality shows on our massive plasma TVs and we have cell phones that are also computers, music players, cameras, video cameras, and God knows what else when the alert is switched to vibrate. Common sense tells us we have too many extravagances in our lives and we should make more of an effort to conserve for our country, ourselves, and our kids future. Maybe it’s idealistic to think that most of us would be willing to do something, anything, to ensure that our children grow up happy, healthy and safe pursuing their childhood dreams, whether they are on a field, auditorium, classroom, or stage. Freedom and independence have a price and to just be grateful doesn’t seem enough.
It’s not a revolutionary statement to say life isn’t so free in other parts of the world. In hundreds of countries around the globe organized youth sports are not part of the daily routine. Sure kids will always find a place to play, but children in those countries live with poverty, fear, and atrocities, the likes of which we’ll never know. Yet on any given day of the week you can drive the streets of suburban neighborhoods around the United States and see kids of every age participating in soccer, softball, baseball, basketball and even lacrosse (which I don’t yet get). This is where the spirit of competition is first experienced. To score a goal, to catch a fly ball, or finish a race are all beautiful productions. Is there anything more pure than a child’s smile when he or she accomplishes an athletic feat for the first time? As parents, it is our responsibility to nurture this opportunity by ensuring that our kids appreciate these activities or by volunteering our time to be involved as a coach, umpire, or league official as an expression of our appreciation.
Granted it’s hard to keep the kids uncorrupted with the attention the media gives professional athletes in this country. If an athlete does something good we hear about it (Tiger Woods, Oscar De La Hoya, Natalie Coughlin) if it’s bad we hear about it (Barry Bonds, Michael Vick, Pac Man Jones) and if it’s entertaining you hear about it (Dale Earnhardt Jr., Venus Williams, the Golden State Warriors). Pressure to achieve is everywhere. Even in youth sports there’s over-the-top coaches, parents, and peers constantly looming. I admire organizations like the Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA) for their ongoing commitment to assist organization such as the San Ramon Valley Girls Athletic League (SRVGAL) and Mustang Soccer in their never ending quest to remind parents and coaches that it’s just a game.
Kids participating in sports can have either a positive or negative experience and it ultimately comes down to the philosophy and culture instilled by those in charge. Unfortunately too often it’s the coaches and parents who truly need to embrace PCA values that are in the back of the room talking, outside on their cell phones, or don’t bother attending the meetings at all. But like any organization with a large membership, one can only hope the fundamentals are in place and a majority of the members participate for the right reasons.
Getting back to our All Start game, after a close first game against the other U8 North team, we squared off against a team from the South division in the consolation game. “Consolation” means we lost the first game. At our two weekday practices prior to Sunday’s tournament, my coaches, Traci and Kathy, and I, tried to instill a sense of pride, teamwork, and sportsmanship in our recently selected All Stars. All Star players, at this age, are chosen by their coaches and teammates to represent their respective team. We told the girls everyone will play and we would be rotating positions so that every player could contribute equally. While competition is healthy and winning or losing is a byproduct of talent and preparation, we, as coaches, know there will be plenty “must win” games in their future, so it was more important to us that the girls had a wonderfully fun experience.
Did I mention that most of the girls are seven years old? Needless to say it’s more fun to win than lose and in the second game we pulled out one hum-baby of a victory. All tied up going into the top of the sixth the other team loaded the bases before our girls recorded three straight outs highlighted by a running catch in center field by Kelsey to end the inning. Fortunately when we scored in the bottom half of the inning our players got an opportunity to experience the sweet taste of victory.
When recently asked what comes to mind when I think of “Freedom and Independence,” I thought of our pitcher, Amanda, with a 100 watt smile on her dirt-smudged face, looking up to me at one point during the game and saying, “Coach Mike, this is really exciting.”
Freedom and independence for me is living in a place that allows our kids this endearing freedom to just be kids and the independence to participate in sports for the love of the game.
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