He Said/She Said with Robin and Shawn

Dear SSHS,
How do I let my dear friend know that her dog is not welcome at our parties? She claims he cannot be left at home for various reasons and is known to sneak him into all sorts of places where dogs aren’t allowed, because she sees him as her child. I love dogs as much as the next person, but they are not appropriate at every situation, and frankly, hers is not very well behaved. —Cat Lady, Pleasant Hill

She Said: I’m afraid your friend has forgotten the single most important social rule about dog ownership: like children, they don’t need to attend every event. In fact, some people are allergic to them (dogs, not kids, although that’s debatable). It’s rude that she’s bringing him to your parties, so you needn’t feel bad about being direct and saying, “As much as we enjoy seeing your little precious, I’m afraid if we invite him to our parties then everyone else will assume they can bring their dogs, and we’re just not having a dog party.” And one more thing for the dog owners out there: if your dog’s name isn’t on the invitation, don’t ask if he can come. It puts the hostess in an awkward position.

He Said: Here’s a simple solution to your problem…stop inviting your friend to your parties and she’ll get the hint. I wouldn’t make any special exceptions for her or any other guest. It really bothers me when people try to insert their pets into social situations. I have a dog and I love my dog, but I know that not everyone else LOVES my dog. I was recently at a party where someone allowed their teenage daughter to bring her dog and it was very awkward. She cradled that dog all night long by herself while the other kids her age were socializing and getting to know each other. Parties are for socializing, and a dog at a party is usually an unhealthy distraction.

Dear HSSS,
I’m fresh on the market after a 30-year marriage. I’m having a blast dating all sorts of men, and I have no desire to settle down at this point. Friends seem to think this is unbecoming to a woman my age, but I don’t see anything wrong with it, do you? —Playing the Field in Suburbia

He Said: Sounds like your friends are a bit envious of your new found freedom. Good for you that you’re getting out there and living your life but bad for you that you’re dating every guy in town and people know about it. Have your fun, but keep it discreet, and remember to be safe at the same time. Treat the guys you’re meeting with respect and don’t break any hearts in the process. You might be just looking for a fling but some of the guys could be looking for Ms. Right. And keep in mind, nobody likes a serial dater.

She Said: Well, I don’t see anything wrong with it as long as you’re being upfront with the guys and letting them know you’re just there for fun and not a LTR. That’s why they call it dating! I think your friends might be a little jealous, so perhaps they’ll be a little less concerned if you introduce them to the guys who don’t work out for you. Share the wealth.

Robin Fahr is a public relations specialist and co-host with Shawn Shizzo on Conversations and He Said/She Said seen daily on Tri-Valley TV, Channel 30 and online at trivalleytv.org. You can also catch He Said/She Said on TheTalkPod.com. Send your questions to AskHeSaidSheSaid.com.