He Said/She Said with Robin and Shawn

Dear HSSS,

I’m newly single and ready to start dating, but I feel intimidated by the dating sites showing beautiful people who seem so much more interesting and accomplished than me. How are we average folk supposed to compete?
JJ, Livermore

He Said: You’re not AVERAGE! Everyone has unique characteristics and if you don’t recognize yours, how exactly do you plan on impressing anyone? The online dating world is an easy way for people to “highlight” their personalities and share them, using profiles that show the best of the best from that person’s life. You shouldn’t feel intimidated if you haven’t traveled the world or swam with the dolphins. You’ve done some great things too, I’m sure, and if you haven’t, get out there and make some memories. Then go on a few dates and share those stories and see who likes you for you. Stop viewing yourself as average; that won’t get you anywhere!

She Said: The truth is, most people are up-selling themselves on these sites, sort of padding their resumes, if you will. You could do the same –use a photo that’s 10 years old and photo-shop it, call yourself a yogi because you took a class or two once, claim not only to love sushi but to make it as well (how hard could it be?), OR you could be more honest and tell it like it is. Sure, you’re going to get fewer “hits” but it’s going to be a case of quality over quantity. And use those dating sites sparingly. You might have better luck joining a club or taking a class and meeting people of similar interests who will get to know the real, anything but average, you!

Dear SSHS,

My dad read something on my social networking site that he didn’t like and now he’s taken my phone away for a week. Isn’t that invasion of privacy?
A.M. age 15, Danville

She Said: Privacy is not a right when you’re under 18. Many parents are afraid to parent their teenagers, but it’s really the job of your mom and dad to know who your friends are, what you’re doing after school, etc. Checking things out on your computer and phone may seem like a violation of your rights, but that’s just called good parenting. Be thankful your dad loves you, and use common sense: don’t disclose so much…but maybe keep your diary hidden!

He Said: Here’s an interesting statistic: there are almost three billion internet users in the world with potential access to what any person posts online. So the reality is, you’re invading your own privacy anytime you post something personal. Social network sites are not private! If you really have something you don’t want your parents to see, then I agree with Robin, don’t share it at all. Your parents are only doing what I wish more parents would do. It’s their job to help you navigate this crazy world and help prevent trouble if they see it coming.

Robin Fahr and Shawn “Shizzo” Alikian host Conversations and He Said/She Said seen daily on Tri-Valley TV, Channel 30. Send your questions to www.AskHeSaidSheSaid.com.