Dear SSHS,
My son is turning sixteen and wants to get a motorcycle that he can afford to buy with his own money. His argument is that it will be cheaper on gas and easier to park, but I’m concerned this is a bad decision. Any idea how to change his mind? Carey N., Danville
She Said: You can change his mind by not allowing him to make such a reckless decision on his own. You’re still the parent, paying all the bills, including his health insurance, so as I see it, you’re the one calling the shots. While under my roof, I would not allow either of my children to have a motorcycle, regardless of who’s buying it. That falls under the category of, “Don’t ask me to be a bad mother.” You didn’t ask about motor scooters, and I’m not sure what I think about those, although a close family friend, a college student, just got hit while driving one. It wasn’t her fault, but her broken arm doesn’t know the difference.
He Said: Your son is absolutely right that a motorcycle is cheaper than a car in many ways, but it’s absolutely wrong to think he can make this decision on his own at sixteen years old. Tell him he needs to wait until he’s eighteen; that should buy you at least two years, and hopefully, by then, he’ll have lost his motorcycle fever. But if he still insists on owning a motorcycle, make sure he passes a certified motorcycle riders course and that he wears all the proper safety gear. It’s worth noting the old saying about there being two types of motorcycle riders: those who’ve already had a serious accident and those who will.
Dear HSSS,
My husband recently re-connected with an old college classmate and told me she invited him to lunch. He claims it’s completely innocent, and he’d like to go if I give my consent. I have to admit, I’m a little uncomfortable with the idea, but I don’t want to be unreasonable. What do you think?
Samantha, Walnut Creek
He Said: I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable for you to be uncomfortable with this. The first question you should ask him is, “Why is she looking you up and reaching out to you?” Followed by, “Just how close of classmates were you in college?” If the answers rub you the wrong way, then your answer should be “Absolutely not!” If your husband insists everything is innocent and he still wants to go to lunch, then insist that he take you with him to meet this old college classmate. Remember, a married man’s focus should not be connecting with old female friends but maintaining and growing his relationships at home with his wife and family.
She Said: The fact that your husband confided in you is a very good sign. He has nothing to hide. I like to joke around calling lunch “the gateway date,” but that’s because people who “reconnect” on Facebook, usually have their first “reunion/rendevouz” over lunch, the innocent meal. But this sounds different to me. It’s just lunch. The minute you make more of it than that, you risk putting ideas in his head. Relax, but ask him all about it when he comes home. And one lunch is all it should take to catch up, if you ask me, which you did. Let us know if they set up another one…which could mean Shawn’s right, and the topic definitely worth revisiting.
Robin Fahr and Shawn Shizzo host Conversations and He Said/She Said seen daily on Tri-Valley TV, Channel 30. Send your questions to AskHeSaidSheSaid.com.
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