Have you ever had that awkward feeling right before an anticipated moment, because you knew everyone around you was anticipating it too? No? Well welcome to your wedding night!
My family and I grew up in very traditional Christian homes, so the ideas of sex were taboo until marriage—or at least they were supposed to be! But with the wave of technology and the change in censorship within the entertainment industry it is easy for a girl to research what she was going to be up against.
My engagement to my husband was the hardest two years of my life. I held on so tightly to my Christian values that the moment my wedding day came I had just three things on my mind; I couldn’t wait to say “I do,” I couldn’t wait to eat, and I couldn’t wait for my wedding night. I had overloaded my brain with so many cosmopolitan articles on what to do and what not to do that I was like a kid who couldn’t keep still during church because she knew was getting ice cream afterward.
Needless to say my mother and a slew of other family members were just as excited…Hold up, huh? I was completely unprepared for the transformation that my family seemed to undergo in a matter of seconds. They went from the Huxtables to the Kardashians over the course of a 30-minute ceremony. Everyone I knew was celebrating our soon-to-be-consummated marriage by shouting bedroom tips to us as we got ready to settle in for the night. When we go in our room we were followed by that same overly excited crowd who were interested to see how equipped our suite was setup for the evenings “activities,” and after being pleased with the room they all left out with quiet chants and well wishes for a “successful” night.
As they closed the door we could still hear the lingering sounds of a few people outside of our room, but were they listening? No, instead they were discussing—dare I say—different “positions” and “maneuvers” that I could try that worked for them. My husband and I just awkwardly looked at each other as the last voice we heard was a little boy talking to his mom saying, “I know what their gonna do.”
As my husband walked over to me, small beads of sweat began to form on my brow. I had a lump in my throat and swallowed loudly as I imagined my family members in their rooms right up above us with an over turned glass on the floor listening just long enough to tell when “it” had begun.
As he got closer I closed my eyes tightly. I had been waiting for this moment for what seemed like forever and now that my family was waiting for it too, I could literally climb under a rock. When I opened my eyes my husband said “So is everyone expecting us to…” “Yep,” I assured him. He shook his head and said “I’m starving you want to eat?” And that was how we spent our first night as husband and wife–watching TV and eating…until we were sure everyone else was sleep.
The moral of this cautionary tale? Beware of the Kardashians in your family!
This article,”I Now pronounce….. You Awkward” is an excellent article; it “paints a clear picture,” about the “realities of Wedding Preparation.” The article, is well written, and informs “would be brides,” about the “truth, nothing but the truth, about Weddings. The article made me laugh, reflect and “shake my head” in agreement. This is a good article because, it gave the author an opportunity to honesty share learned insights, that will greatly benefit future brides; The article additionally prepares the future bride and groom to prioritize, ‘what’s really important when planning their wedding!!!