‘Tis the season to be jolly and I’m not embarrassed to admit that I get jolly looking at Christmas lights, or to be politically correct, outdoor holiday light displays. The traditional house display of white or colored lights decoratively strung along the roofline, chimney and/or fence delightfully adds to the spirit of the holidays. However, once you get into the life-size plywood Santa and elf diorama strategically constructed on the front lawn, a Sesame Street manger scene tastefully positioned in the side yard rock bed or perhaps a two-story blow up menorah in the driveway, you’ve crossed over and are now playing in the major leagues of holiday cheer. It doesn’t matter what the actual light display consists of, as long as it’s an attempt to stimulate yuletide euphoria. It can also serve as a beacon and landing strip for Santa’s sleigh and reindeer … that is, if I still believed in Santa.
Mr. Clark Griswold, of the National Lampoon movie Christmas Vacation, is the hero of every outdoor suburban holiday lightsmith. His home light display, visible from outer space, is the standard by which my neighbors and I strive to duplicate or outdo. Clark’s goal of affixing 1,000,000 lights to his humble abode seemed unrealistic when the movie debuted in 1989. However, it seems a bit light by today’s standards. His six-figure PG&E bill does hit close to home, but I don’t think Santa wants us to worry about our utility consumption when it comes to decorating for his arrival.
When I was a child, I would help my dad staple strands of colored lights to the eaves of our house, just under the gutter line. This holiday ritual was typically performed in mid-December and removed promptly on January 2nd. Unless of course you were the lazy white trash neighbors (and every neighborhood had them) who left their Christmas lights on the house all year long. Yea, it was just too much work to take down the lights when you’re extremely busy not mowing your lawn and unwashing your car. For the respectable families, once you ran an orange extension cord from an outlet in the garage, you were good to go. My dad was the envy of the other suburban holi-Dads when he spliced a plug into the porch light for state-of-the-art connectivity. What we lacked in creativity or imagination we made up for in speed. The entire job took us less than 20 minutes and Santa never had trouble finding my place.
Today, my traditional display set-up begins at daybreak on the Friday after Thanksgiving. If I’m lucky, and don’t break for lunch, I might be finished by nightfall. Part of the suburban holiday ritual is the grueling time spent on a ladder snapping the strands of hanging icicle lights onto the roof tiles, if you’re actually able to untangle the knotted mess. Luckily OSHA doesn’t put a high priority on monitoring the death defying roof top gymnastics most Dads exhibit in their attempt to transform their homes into a winter wonderland. Imagine if you will, an aging and overweight Circ du Soleil-like performer, wearing a soccer sweat suit with tinsel hanging from his teeth. I once used a frayed bungee cord tied to our chimney to help me hang lights down the side of my tri-level condominium. Just last year, I was suspended from telephone lines by bicycle inner tubes just to get the Star of David in our palm tree. I really envy the neighbors who hire an off-season window washing company to install their light displays. Er … I meant to type the word “resent” not “envy”, darn computer glitch. Regardless how much better their displays look than mine, we can’t let certain time honored traditions go by the wayside. Santa wouldn’t like that.
The Tri-Valley is known for its outrageous lighting displays and my favorite neighborhood is the Woodland Terrace sub division (off Overlook and Woodland Drive at Alcosta Blvd.) across from Central Park in San Ramon. Go big or go home seems to be the motto of the families living on these streets when it comes to twinkling lights, robotic characters, inflatable figures and illuminated signage. Individual home honors go out Deacon Dave’s annual production on Hillcrest Drive in Livermore. Not to be outdone with lighting merriment is Beautiful Bob’s on Calle Reynoso and Widmer’s World on Chelsea Court, both in Pleasanton. There’s no telling if the residents have some misguided notion that Santa leaves more presents for elaborate lighting displays, but I, for one, applaud the all-out Feliz Navidad effort in an attempt to draw crowds of bright eyed children, dazzled carolers and seasonal gawkers.
My favorite MEGATRON holiday decorated house in the Tri Valley is located at 108 Dana Highlands in the Woodranch Development of Danville. I’m pretty sure the Hubble telescope has that address on space station speed dial. Seeing this house on a chilly December night is magical for kids, parents, grandparents and space aliens. My compliments go out to the host family for what it takes to produce this visual wonderland of Santa-riffic joy. Speaking of Santa, I bet the big guy needs sunglasses when he approaches this florescent/halogen/watt popping masterpiece. Make it a family must-see for the holidays and it will have you singing carols before you’re half way out of the cul-de-sac.
Are any of my readers aware that there is an online Holiday light superstore? There is and you should visit it at www.1000bulbs.com
As the nameless narrator says in his voice over during Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)”And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?” The astute Mr. Grinch was obviously onto something deep and profound. Outdoor holiday light displays, like packages, boxes and bags, aren’t what make the holidays special, they just perhaps make the holidays brighter. Let’s all try to keep things in perspective this season when we begin to decorate our homes. Regardless if you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or Ramadan, jolly begins within. Now get out there and Light It Up!
Leave a Reply