It’s a new year! We all have a clean slate, a fresh start, a new lease on life. This is our chance to really accomplish something in the coming year. Every year at this time I have such good and true intentions. However, I’ve come to realize that resolutions are virtually impossible to keep and/or execute so I’m inclined to come up with another form of goal setting. This year, I’m trying the “Year at a Glance Calendar Action Plan.” Over the past few weeks, I have been visualizing, strategizing, prophesizing, brainstorming, designing and chronicling my plan for the next twelve months. Needless to say, I’m charged up and ready to hit the ground running on January 2nd. Yes, the second. January 1st is my day to recover from very likely being over served on New Year’s Eve.
January – After New Year’s Day, January is kind of a drag. The holidays are over, the weather is cold and miserable and if the Forty-Niners aren’t in the playoffs I might just take up hibernation. Depression is common amongst people tasked with taking down the Christmas ornaments so that’s why I always make my wife and kids do it. In January, I plan to rest and regain the strength that I lost during the holidays. Maybe I’ll do a few sit-ups and some jumping jacks just to get the blood pumping.
February– Who wants to be my Valentine? A Father can always count on his precious daughters…..if he has gift cards. I like the month of Feb. because it’s short. It’s like an abbreviated month and that’s why I call it “Feb.” As far as month’s go, how much can one accomplish in just 28 days? Rehab maybe? That’s it, I’ll start rehabbing from the holidays by giving up alcohol in Feb. Oh snap, the Superbowl is in Feb. Forget that idea. Instead I’ll start really getting into shape. I hope I don’t pull a groin muscle.
March – March is known as the windy month, but wind won’t bother me when I’m hunkered down in a sports bar watching all 65 NCAA college basketball games, more commonly known as, “March Madness.” Come on Villanova. It’s called March Madness because a lot of people get mad this time of year. My wife gets really mad at me because I sit around the house watching too much basketball. I get mad at “braketbusters,” meaning I can never pick a team that gets into the Sweet 16. The only person not mad is the person who wins all my bracket money. I get mad again when people gloat after winning all of my bracket money. I’m getting mad right now just thinking of it. I think I’ll try shooting some hoops during the month of March as a form of physical and mental stress relief. I do look awfully good in my long Georgetown basketball shorts, a Michigan State tank top and a pair of Air Jordans.
April– Easter, the religious holiday celebrating the resurrection of chocolate. After about seventeen or eighteen See’s candy caramel filled chocolate eggs, a six pack of Ghirardelli chocolate bunnies and a pound of jelly beans, I’m usually ready to check myself into a nutritional rehab center for the rest of the month. I do enjoy spring in full bloom until the day my sinus cavity explodes from all the pollen in the air. It’s hard to ride a bike or fly a kite when your eyes are dripping water and your nose is bleeding from binge sneezing.
May – My Margaritas con Miguel are muy bueno on Cinco de Mayo. I can totally get behind a national holiday (even if it’s for a neighboring nation) that celebrates their independence with tequila and nachos. Granted, I’ve been known to enjoy tequila and nachos in December, but I’ve also been known to drink eggnog in May. Eggnog margaritas rock! Spring wouldn’t be spring, without enjoying a sizzling platter of fajitas and a few ice cold Corona cervezas on the back patio. I even plan to work on my Spanish speaking skills during the month. Donde esta el bano, por favor?
June – Life in our house gets considerably less stressful in June. As we roll into the start of summer, the kids and my wife just naturally relax knowing there are just a few more days left of the school year and ten weeks of vacation awaits them. The days are long, the weather is warm and I can sleep in just my underwear again. What, too much information? Baseball games, BBQs and the backyard waterpark slip and slide are all on my “must do” list for June.
July– My birthday is in July. When I was a kid, birthdays were the greatest day of the year. Even better than Christmas, because in additional to getting presents, you turned a year older. Now, birthdays are a sad reminder of how old we are and how little time we have left. Thankfully, we celebrate the birthday of our nation every 4th of July. I love the Fourth of July with the red, white and blue picnics, fun runs, pool parties and fireworks. I wish we did all that cool stuff on my birthday. The highlight of my birthday now is the annual midnight run around the block in my birthday suit. It’s an invigorating way to stare down the day you commemorate being a year older. Who’s with me…………………….?
August – My kids might be dreading going back to school, but I would be more than happy to take their place if they feel like earning a living and supporting me for a change. Virtually ever adult will admit that we didn’t fully appreciate the carefree days of being a student. Granted, there were classes, homework, projects, papers and tests, but we didn’t have a mortgage, health/auto/life and medical insurance, teenage children, an expanding waistline and a receding hairline. August means the end of a ten-week summer vacation and back to the 8:00 am – 3:00 pm school day. At my work, summer vacations are usually one week in late July and a couple long weekends. The typical workday starts around 7:30 am and, thanks to my cell phone, usually wraps up around bedtime. Being a student again would be the life. Is anyone up for a game of ultimate Frisbee or starting a hacky-sack circle?
September– With the immense popularity of the NFL and the NFL season kicking off in September, September might just change its name to Footballtember. Don’t think that hasn’t been discussed at the NFL headquarters. Not wanting to take anything away from high school and college football, because America’s love affair with everything gridiron knows no bounds, but the NFL has a cult following like no other. As fall descends on our country, the warm “Indian Summer” days allow us to host and attend backyard tailgate parties virtually every weekend of this glorious smash-mouth, D-Fence, ground-pound, protect this house, month of the pigskin.
October– I don’t really do the whole Halloween costume thing since I lost my diaper at the neighborhood “Rugrats” themed party a few years ago. I loved seeing my daughters dressed up in adorable costumes every year, but now as teenagers the costumes can boarder on inappropriate and highly distressing to a father. On the other hand, the children who come to the house each year to “Trick or Treat” still possess an uncorrupted innocence that shines through their scary outfits. I do love my Halloween candy which is why I buy enough to satisfy 300-400 door bell ringers when our neighborhood has never generated more than about 25 visitors on the night of All-Hallows. Note to self, load up on Kit Kat bars.
November– My anniversary is in November. We’ll be married twenty years on November 6th. My Bother-In-Law set the over/under at four years. I think someone owes me some money. Twenty years is a long time. I should probably let my wife plan something special, maybe a trip somewhere romantic. I hope she invites me. Between Halloween, my anniversary and Thanksgiving, I better be careful that I don’t put on too much weight otherwise there might not be a 21st wedding anniversary. My wife is already starting to wonder what happened to the underwear model she married. It might be a good idea to get to the gym for a few Pilates classes or some water-aerobics during the holidays.
December– I can’t believe its December already. Where did the year go? I just wasted eleven months and now the holiday’s are upon us and another New Year looms. My first task of December is to get the Christmas lights up. Stringing the lights, decorating the tree, hanging the stockings, sending photo cards are all great ways to get into the holiday spirit. Putting the holiday stuff up is aheck of a lot better than taking all that stuff down in January. It’s always an instant holiday spirit jolt once you watch the first animated holiday special on television. Oh wait, the Christmas specials started in October. Regardless, December is about all things magical and holiday-ish, just remember to hire someone to put up the house lights this year. I don’t need another broken arm from falling off a ladder like in 2013.
Well, that’s my year in preview. I’ve got to admit, I’m quite pleased with my Year at a Glance Action Plan. It’s inspiring, motivating, dare I say, illuminating? I challenge all to you to create your own Year at a Glance Action Plan. It’s better than making a list of stale resolutions that will blow up faster than the President’s health care website.
Sadly, despite the best of intentions, no one actually accomplishes all of their resolutions, goals or action items because it’s human nature to abandon the plan when presented with a more enticing alternative. Even though I will, in all likelihood, eventually stray from my month-by-month action plan, for just a moment in time I want to believe I’ll follow through on my list of tasks and challenges. As Robin Williams said in the movie, Dead Poets Society, “Carpe Diem,” –but first, plan your diems.
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