The Onset of Spring Fever
My family and I have recently been showing signs of an illness that is every bit as frightening as the Zika virus. Apparently, we’re not the only family in the area afflicted with an atmospherically transmitted disease (ATD not to be confused with a STD), and it has the potential to turn into an outbreak that has The Center for Disease Control (CDC) on high alert. My exhaustive research (I made it up) indicates this current strain will probably last until school gets out for the summer in June. Symptoms include: lack of concentration, hyperactivity, sleep aversion, claustrophobia and the giggles. If you haven’t guessed it already, the Copelands have been diagnosed with a severe case of Spring Fever. So far, the only known antidote is fresh air, loud music, a 7-Eleven Slurpee and fun.
After four drought-plagued years, we now have water in our reservoirs, snow pack in our mountains and flowers in our gardens. I’m secure enough in my masculinity to admit that I like flowers. Tulips are my favorite if you must know. Anyone remotely familiar with Spring Fever knows that flowers often have a soothing/calming effect on the worst of cases. Exhaustive research (made it up again) has confirmed that flowers can subliminally increase human energy levels and supplement lacking pep and vigor. Apparently, exposure to annuals, perennials and blooming blossoms (not the Outback Steakhouse kind) can increase vitality, hope, optimism and a positive outlook, and provide a “spring in our step,” if you will; that is, unless of course you have allergies or hay fever, in which case you’re probably a flower hater. Don’t be a hater!
In my professional opinion, flowers add vibrant color and a delightful visual contrast to our suburban landscape that last year consisted of dirt, dog poop, weeds and artificial lawn. Yes, I have been known to exaggerate a bit, but without the recent abundance of precipitation, our I-680 corridor could’ve taken on the desolate cinematic look of the Academy-award winning Mad Max Fury Road.
Look around—thanks to the weather we’ve had this spring our hills and valleys are spectacular. Keeping with a movie theme, there are areas of the Tri-Valley that would be the perfect set location for a charming little romantic comedy entitled Spring Fever starring the devilishly handsome Ryan Reynolds and irresistible Julianne Hough. I envision them strolling along Prospect Avenue in downtown Danville, holding hands and window-shopping before lunching at Sideboard or reading a copy of Alive magazine over a latte at Pascal’s. (Note to self: Begin drafting screen play. Soundtrack idea: The 1973 hit song by the Brady Bunch titled “It’s a Sunshine Day?” Anyone? Just me?Awkward.
More exhaustive research (again, made it up) says people between the ages of three and 74 years old prefer watching movies in 3-D Technicolor on an IMAX screen as opposed to viewing an 8 mm black and white silent film in a closet. Pastel colored flower beds, emerald green hills, blooming white cherry blossoms, cresting blue lakes and a bright orange sun in the sky is what inspired Crayola to come up with all those crayon colors.
More exhaustive research (really, you have to ask?) has confirmed that one effective medicinal treatment for Spring Fever is apparently sports viewing. Fortunately for the afflicted, spring begins with the conclusion of March Madness, the NCAA basketball tournament. College B-ball transitions into the start of the major league baseball season. As MLB picks up momentum, we slide into the NBA and Hockey playoffs. Granted, professional basketball and hockey playoffs both seem to extend well into the summer months, but they can still provide medicinal benefits when the virus reaches a climax. Add a sprinkling of golf, tennis and soccer; it’s all just a build up to my favorite spring sport medicine treatment, the NFL draft. The draft seems to bring my fever down better than two Advil and a picnic.
Spring has long been referred to as a prelude to summer—a summer tease. That’s right, exhaustive research (of course I made it up) states that most people feel that the breezy cloud-filled days of April and May are preparing us for, or a build up to, the warm days and star-filled nights of June, July and August. Flying kites, tending gardens and cleaning house are ideal ways to prep for family camp outs, company BBQs and neighborhood pool parties. Musically, spring is Kenny G and Christopher Cross where summer is more Def Leppard and Journey. Exhaustive research (I asked my daughters this time), says a more contemporary musical reference (something from the last decade) would be Taylor Swift, One Direction orAdele (Spring), and Fall Out Boy, Bruno Mars or Jason Aldean (Summer).
Spring Fever is rarely terminal although it can certainly feel like you’re dying a slow death if you’re stuck in a classroom or office building on a beautiful sun-filled weekday afternoon. Adults are just as susceptible to the fever as kids. I’ve personally known at least two co-workers who have spent time in “treatment facilities” as the result of over medicating the Spring Fever with margaritas and mojitos.
The secret to successfully dealing with the onset of the fever is to first recognize the fever’s five “R” triggers:
1) Realize when you just can’t stand to be indoors another second,
2) Respect the call of the outdoors,
3) Respond to the calling,
4) Reward yourself with an abundance of outdoor living, and rinse and wipe. Wipe? Sorry, wrong illness.
5) Repeat step 4 over and over again until exhausted. A little bit of spring fever can actually make your weekends so much more enjoyable and rewarding.
My last bit of exhaustive research (common sense) says, Spring Fever may not be curable, but it is treatable.
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