Who would have ever imagined that we would experience a worldwide pandemic in our lifetime? A pandemic is an epidemic of an infectious disease that has spread across a large region. When I was in the second grade at Edith Landels Elementary, Chickenpox ran through our school like a wildfire infecting roughly 70% of the student body. As my sister and I scratched and itched ourselves through a seven- or eight-day quarantine, we enjoyed staying up late, sleeping in and watching daytime TV with a minimal amount of homework. While I missed being outside with my buddies, one week of shelter in place went by reasonably fast without a lot of collateral damage.
Fast forward to the year 2020, and after roughly two and a half months of house arrest sheltering, it truly feels like we’re living out the plot of one of those pandemic movies like Outbreak or Contagion and most of us are craving some form of normalcy. While Coronavirus/COVID-19 is no joke, it doesn’t hurt to inject a little humor into what we’re all experiencing and how drastically it’s changed our lives. With the help of my college-age daughter, who was yanked home from her semester abroad in Dublin, Ireland, we have assembled a few light-hearted thoughts and observations on our current SIP situation.
Shelter in Place: Spending a majority of our time cooped up inside the house, avoiding gatherings, working from home and interacting with only our immediate family members goes against human nature. We’re a social species and much like dolphins, gorillas, and wolves (oh my), we crave real interpersonal connection, not just ZOOM conferences in our underpants. That’s not to say a few of my friends haven’t found this to be a very comfortable lifestyle and one they’ve been perfecting for years; for me, it’s been mind-numbing and soul sucking. I look for any reason to mask up for a visit to the grocery store, post office, or bank. Speaking of the bank, it wasn’t that long ago that if you walked into a Wells Fargo, Chase or Bank of America wearing a mask, the alarm would sound and the police would be summoned. Now, you’re greeted warmly by a teller wearing a mask behind a protective shield.
Social Distancing: “SD” should more accurately be called PD—physical distancing. Socially, people should avoid distancing themselves from one another, but to avoid the transmission of airborne Covid-19 germs, there is a need to maintain a physical distance. Let’s just get the terminolgy straight. Socially, we should stay as close and connected to each other as possible to provide, love, companionship, and support during a time of sheltered isolation. We need to see and talk with our peeps to remind us we’re not going through this time alone. I’m really enjoying my Zoom Happy Hour seven days a week.
Zoom, Skype and Facetime: Videotelephony or online video chatting allows us to stay visually connected to family, friends and business associates. Growing up, I remember Maxwell Smart (TV’s Get Smart) or Dick Tracy (comic strip) having some type of communications gadget that allowed them to see who they were talking to and yet that type of device seemed like a farfetched, unachievable technology that would never actually be developed in our lifetime, but look at us now. I just wish I had bought Zoom stock in early March.
Working from Home: Not that long ago, working from home was “tech trendy,” but perhaps a concept a little ahead of its time. In February of 2013, Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer eliminated working from home for her employees. “Speed and quality are often sacrificed when we work from home,” read the memo to Yahoo employees. Meg Whitman, CEO of Hewlett Packard soon followed Mayer’s lead. The impression may have been that too many worker-bees were lounging around their residence playing video games and snacking on Pop-Tarts. Now, post Corona, companies may insist that a portion of their employees work from home. This could drastically reduce the need for office space or at least the notion that not every tech company needs to cluster their employees in high profile offices in San Francisco, Silicon Valley or Palo Alto. This could potentially be a good thing for the Tri Valley commercial real estate market, I’m just saying.
Homeschooling: How many parents are actually equipped to home school their children regardless of age? Many of us barely passed math, science, and history when we were in school, so how are we supposed to teach those subjects? Online tutorials are our best suggestion when it comes to how to school our needy little ones, however our high school and college kids are on their own. We do both wish we could take the Jason Mamoa axe throwing P.E. class. For those of you who played the role of teacher’s aide (without any credentials) for the last 8-10 weeks, you have my utmost respect and admiration. Thankfully, summer vacation has finally started.
Graduations: Virtual graduations and streaming ceremonies may be the new normal, but our high school and college grads are sure getting cheated. It’s not that commencement ceremonies are anything to write home about, in fact, most are horribly dull and boring, but it’s a rite of passage for high school and college kids. As if stepping up on the family room coffee table to receive a diploma from your mom or dad isn’t anti-climactic enough, the immediate family-only post-party in the kitchen is really lame.
Family Time: Almost every family is looking for ways to kill time during the countless number of hours spent together every day. Games, puzzles, knitting, rock art, and charades are all terrific ways to bond…. if you live in the 1800s, but when the kids start driving the parents crazy and the parents start driving the kids crazy, it’s important to give each other some space. Not every hour of the day needs to be spent together. Respect boundaries or risk a family feud of epic proportions without Steve Harvey as the host.
Misc: When it comes to our pets, we’ve all heard how dogs love having us around, but cats hate it. Our dog has never been happier or in better shape, but the cat is terribly annoyed having us around and plotting how to change the locks in the house. Somewhere there’s a happy medium. Our parakeet and iguana both seem to be impartial to us being around. Speaking of being in shape, I’ve never walked or hiked as much in my life as I have since the SIP went down. It’s nice to see much of the town on foot, but we’ve already logged like 250,000 miles in our Easy Spirit touring sneakers, however, blisters and chaffing are a nasty byproduct of all that walking. Finally, don’t even get us started on a directional path of travel at the grocery store because most people were directionally challenged before the new normal shopping guidelines.
This crazy, unprecedented, once in a lifetime, surreal, life alteration is like nothing any of us has ever encountered or likely will ever again. In a way, we’re all experiencing what retired life (with more restrictions) could be like. And while it’s got certain appeal, it’s way too early for most of us to want to make this lifestyle permanent. Also, every time one of us sneezes or coughs in public we get that “do you have the ronies?” look. We’re never going to be one of those people who wear a protective mask while driving alone in our cars or while on a solo walk 6,000 feet from anyone, but if that’s you, knock yourself out.
As an avid sports fans, we do miss watching baseball, basketball, and even golf, but if the fall high school, college, and pro football seasons get cancelled, we may truly lose our sh#t. We’re ready to get back to the way life was when Corona was just a refreshing and affordable beer.
Claire and I truly hope everyone reading this article is safe and healthy and will take the necessary precautions as our state slowly opens-up and we get back to some sense of normalcy. In the meantime, be kind, be careful and, be patient. Now go wash your hands.
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