Growing up, the words Please and Thank You were the “magic words.” If you wanted something you said, “please” and if you got something, you said “thank you”. To six- year-old me, that made perfect sense. Hell, to 56 year old me, it’s still makes perfect sense. These are common courtesy, common decency, common sense, words that are the foundation of life lessons. I’m just troubled that these words, not to mention a boat load of other words, phrases, expressions, are not being instilled in our children any longer. I beat those words, and others, into my daughters growing up and when I say “beat” it into them, I hope everyone knows I meant that in a metaphorical way. We practiced saying please and thank you the same way we practiced breathing. Has it become too much to say please and thank you, let alone excuse me or ex-squeeze me?
The word “please” is quiet pleasing to the ear. Please is a gracious way of requesting someone’s participation. Please pass me the salt; please pick up your toys; please take a seat; please make your bed; please don’t torment you sister; please drop my clothes off at the dry cleaner; please sir may I have some more; please please me; or please don’t eat the daisies. Please accept this article as the best I could do given how far past the deadline I am this month. Please is an enchanting word.
The words “thank” and “you,” standing alone, are just two little words, but together they show appreciation, thoughtfulness and gratitude. Thank you for your business; than you for waiting; thank you for seeing me; thank you for coming; thank you for the gift; thank you for the donation; thank you for the help; thank you for remembering; thank you for calling; thank you for the great service; thank you sir may I have another, or thank you for writing such a well thought out and slightly humorous article. Thank you is also endearing word.
Just of the record, excuse me is a polite expression, however ex-squeeze me is just fun to say—as long as it’s not taken in a sexually harassing, “me too,” way. If I’ve offended anyone, please excuse my oafish insensitivity and accept my heartfelt apology. Thank you.
When you think about the obvious times a please or thank you might be appropriate, my best advice is to start at home. Appreciate your partner for everything he, she or they do around the house. We can all fall into a rut or routine where we have our chores and they have theirs, but it never hurts to drop a please or thank you every once in awhile. It might cause someone to fall off their chair or question their hearing if they haven’t heard those words in months or maybe years. The reaction might be worth the effort alone. “Honey, thank you for washing and folding my socks and t-shirts. You really get those stains out,” or, “Sugar, would you please let me know if my flatulence bothers you tonight. I really shouldn’t have had the bean casserole.” Once you’ve started to make progress at home, initiate the same game plan at work.
Has a magazine column writer ever received a YELP review? Yikes, that might be asking for trouble. I think YELP is a worthwhile website/app, but it’s not just for complaining. I probably post 7-8 positive YELP reviews to every 1-2 negative. I love recognizing good service and YELP is just one more way of saying thank you to an employee or company for exceptional service. Too many YELP trolls love blasting out negative reviews just for the exposure or attention. Lets all make a pledge to post at least one YELP review that’s positive/appreciative. Me first – I would like to thank Belinda in Macy’s accounting department for her excellent custom service in helping me resolve an overcharge for delivery. Belinda was professional, responsive, helpful, compassionate and a real problem solver. I wish more call center employees were like Miss Belinda at Macy’s, but please take the time to point out when someone does so that it might encourage others to train and implement better service.
It goes without saying that military personnel, first responders (law enforcement, firemen and paramedics) and teachers should always be thanked. They are the backbone of our society and without these brave souls on the front lines our country could fall into a state of bedlam, chaos or civil unrest. At the same time, on a completely different level, please recognize the unsung heroes that don’t get the recognition they deserve. Likewise, all veterans, and also public transportation (BART, bus and ferry) drivers, mail carriers, hospice workers and some politicians, as well as volunteers at every level: food banks, Meals on Wheels, charity fun runs, and youth sports programs are indebted to their volunteer work force.
As a former soccer, softball, baseball, football coach and swim team president, your kid’s leagues and teams wouldn’t exist without a dedicated group of parents who give countless hours to these programs. That’s not to say there aren’t occasional issues or problems, but suffice it to say 20% of the parents do 80% of the work to keep the subject sport operating. I’ve heard a lot of complaints in my day that never started with a “please” or ended with a “thank you.” It’s easy to be negative without any constructive ideas or personal commitment to resolve the problems. In my first-hand experience, organizations such as the San Ramon Valley Girls Athletic League (“SRVGAL softball”), Mustang Soccer and the San Ramon Valley Thunderbirds football and cheer programs are staffed by a lot of wonderfully dedicated volunteer parents who are involved for all the right reasons and those individuals deserve an occasional please and thank you. The same goes for all the volunteer parents who serve in scouting programs—both girls and boys.
So, I’ve been on my soapbox for about two hours now trying to craft a positive and yet poignant first article of the New Year. I’m far from the ideal role model and yet, I do try to practice what I preach. Please and thank you were once the norm; the basics every child was taught by parents who saw the value in manners and behavior. Don’t let these magic words die out with so many other life lessons that have fallen by the wayside. It’s too easy to blame social media or the millennial generation.
Let’s all take responsibility to please revitalize the basics in the New Year. Thank you.
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