I’ve wondered lately why the intensity of “the world at large” appears to be escalating on many levels. And amidst this perceived intensity, it feels like time is zooming forward at “breakneck” speed. Whew—just thinking about this makes me want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head! Can you relate?
It occurs to me that maybe we are trying to keep pace with the ever-increasing speed offered by today’s technologies. Could it be that coffee houses are booming with business as we attempt to amp ourselves up and zoom through our days at these crazy breakneck speeds?
Now don’t get me wrong; I deeply appreciate the capacity of my fast-paced and efficient high-tech computer, digital pen tablet, iPhone, and television. However, I am concerned about how the intensity of our ever-changing techno-world…is impacting the peacefulness and the balance of our minds and bodies.
For this reason, in my private practice, I often educate stressed clients about the fight-flight-freeze responses. Fighting, fleeing, and freezing are related to natural reactions to stress that animals exhibit when their survival is threatened. Since we’re animals, it’s natural for our brains to also choose one of these instinctual survival behaviors…when we’re feeling overwhelmed, afraid, angry, or sad.
For example, doesn’t it make sense that in trying to keep pace with the speed of the technology around us…we might not make time to process (or balance) our emotions? Let’s face it; answering cell phone calls, faxes, texts, and emails can become a full time job! As a result, while feeling overwhelmed with the crazy demands of our stressful work and home lives, many of us tend to suppress or freeze our emotions. Unfortunately, for some, emotional suppression leads to anxiety as well as somatic (bodily) symptoms.
Now here’s the challenging part: how do we balance opposing emotions (like anger and sadness) and make peace with our “inner and outer” conflicts? This is no small task for complex creatures such as ourselves. However, when we learn how to allow our emotions to safely flow freely, then we avoid inappropriately “acting out” our anger in unproductive or destructive ways. By allowing our emotions to safely flow, we also avoid becoming stuck (or frozen) in our fear…or in our sadness.
Recently, I’ve received phone calls from many people who feel overwhelmed by the “inner and outer” conflicts in their lives. To balance “inner conflicts,” I offer my clients various tools that allow them to process their challenging emotions in gentle ways. For example, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a powerful tool that helps many people discharge “stuck” emotions, so they can move forward in their lives.
In addition, I also teach individual clients “life skills,” such as conscious communication, which includes active listening. I have to say, as an innately shy person, learning how to communicate assertively and listen compassionately—was life changing for me. The truth is that accessing my “authentic voice” was a turning point in my life, and I continue to feel deeply grateful for this important ability.
Now, as far as moving toward peace in relation to “outer conflicts,” imagine stepping into another person’s shoes in order to invite empathy into the mix. I’ve witnessed, as well as experienced…that empathy has the capacity to serve as a profound bridge to another person.
On this note, I recently had an inspiring conversation with a seasoned mediator, Sharon Tom, about the importance of empathy. Sharon is the Training Program Manager for the nonprofit organization, SEEDS (Services that Encourage Effective Dialogue and Solutions). In addition to discussing empathy, Sharon and I talked about the importance of “active listening”—especially for people in the process of resolving a conflict. She shared the following insights:
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Four Factors That Contribute to Our Conflicts:
- We don’t listen to one another
- We stay stuck in our positions
- We make assumptions
- We tend to speak…before we think
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To help encourage active listening, during their two-day “Conflict Resolution Skills Training,” SEEDS offers communication tools to increase participants’ skill levels and effectiveness when dealing with conflict in their personal lives and in their workplaces. For more information visit: www.seedscrc.org
Finally, if you are experiencing inner conflict, outer conflict, or a confusing combination of both—then consider slowing down and reaching out for support and practical tools. Know that taking positive action is a courageous first step toward…cultivating inner and outer peace.
Certified Clinical Hypnotherapy services in California can be alternative or complementary to licensed healing arts, such as psychotherapy.
Trina Swerdlow, BFA, CCHT, is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, an artist, and the author of the 2-CD Set, Weight Loss: Powerful & Easy-to-Use Tools for Releasing Excess Weight. Her artwork and personal profile are included in Outstanding American Illustrators Today 2. She is the author and illustrator of Stress Reduction Journal: Meditate and Journal Your Way to Better Health. Trina has a private practice in downtown Danville. She soulfully shares her creative approach to personal growth and passionately supports her clients in reaching their goals. You can reach her at: (925) 285.5759, or info@TrinaSwerdlow.com.
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